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Here we go again (3-HO-PCP + 3-F-PCP)

MundaneDivinity

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 18, 2014
Messages
118
Location
PNW
Reminder that I am an experienced user of dissociatives, with a heavy tolerance, after having used a number of them on a daily basis at various times over the years.

I spend the day with a girl and 3-HO-PCE. About 20mg at a time, sometimes snorted, sometimes eaten. Maybe 80mg over the course of the day. I have a fair amount of experience with this chemical, and a heavy tolerance like I said, so I eyeball little bumps and I'm not sure exactly how much I've taken. By the end of the day I know that I am probably quite intoxicated, but there is a certain detached indifference about it. I guess that is the draw of these chemicals for us habitual users. Yes, I am high. There is some slight but noticeable impairment of motor faculties and while thought processes are somewhat slowed, at least on the surface they appear relatively unchanged. There is an escapist disconnection about the experience, like I am partially removed from myself.

I decide to take things to the next level. I boil some water, and while it is still hot, I rinse my bag of 3-F-PCP with 4ml. I suspect there is about 50mg remaining, but in retrospect it may have been more. I pour the solution from the bag to a small glass, and add a little mound of 3-HO-PCE. I tear the bag open and lick it clean. I draw the combined solution of 3-F-PCP and 3-HO-PCE into an oral syringe and head to bed. My mouth tingles and feels slightly numb from the 3-F. About an hour passes, and I notice the character of the 3-F bleeding into the high, but not enough that my level of intoxication is drastically increased. It's time to dive in, so I plug or boof the solution of approximately 50mg each of 3-F-PCP and 3-HO-PCE at about 11 PM.

For the next half hour or so, I play a few card games on my phone while I wait for the plug to kick in. The Elder Scrolls: Legends. It's starting to become difficult to focus on the screen, so I switch gears. I put on the album Migration by Bonobo, put my phone down, and close my eyes. I haven't listened to this album before, but Black Sands and Days To Come are some of my favorite to hole to. In retrospect, something more familiar may have been a better choice.

Oh well.

The experience still seems very familiar, despite being only my second or third hole with 3-F-PCP. Plugged, in high doses, it quite reminds me of MXE, at least in combination with 3-HO-PCE. Perhaps a bit slower moving, with a little less magic, but very familiar.

I am enveloped, dragged under, pulled inexorably forward. A new scene unfolds with each song. I can't recall them in any detail, but they are idyllic.

Time passes.

Moments, or eternities. I'm not sure which.

I can't believe it! I've found the ticket to heaven. The perfect drug. 50mg of 3-F-PCP, up the ass. I can't wait to share this with everyone!

Time flows on.

Something different is happening. The music is changing. I don't know what the fuck Spotify is thinking, this doesn't sound like anything I'd ever listen to. Oh well, it's pleasant enough I suppose. Something about the lyrics seems oddly relevant to this revelation I am experiencing right now.

It's almost like they're speaking directly to me. I can't recall exactly what they said, but it's something along the lines of "You did it! You beat the game man! Good job. It's only a matter of time before we have world peace now." Absolutely ridiculous, I know, but it's true. Once everyone knows about this, life will be so much easier and the world will be a much better place.

Time carries on. Or does it? I'm not sure anymore.

Wait, what's that? I didn't beat the game, I fucking broke it! Ah, shit. Yep, I think I finally broke my brain this time. There's no way I'm coming back from this. Oh well, at least this is an extremely pleasant state of mind to be trapped in for the rest of my life. If there even is a "rest of my life." Maybe I'm dying. Yeah, I think I'm probably dying. That's ... really going to suck for my girlfriend to find me dead in the morning. I'm sorry, girl! I wish I could tell her it's alright, that I only died because I broke the game. I wish I could tell her that I passed peacefully. Oh well.

The world around me, my bedroom, is cluttered and disorganized, obscured by visual static. It doesn't make sense. I feel two-dimensional. This must be what it's like to die, or break your brain with drug-induced psychosis. Helpless, I lay my face flat against my bed. Flat, like a piece of paper. Two dimensional.

I check the time on my phone. It's about 2:30 AM. About three hours have passed. Okay, I can actually read the screen of my phone, even without closing one eye. Maybe I'm not dead or broken. Okay. Maybe this will pass. Maybe some more familiar music will help. Hey, I can actually navigate my phone decently well right now. Usually this is a lot harder when things get like this. Yeah, this familiar song helps. I guess I'm going to be alright. Motility and balance are definitely impaired, but walking to the bathroom for a piss is surprisingly easy if somewhat confusing.

Sleep is still impossible, so I chug the glass of bourbon I poured an eternity ago. By 3:30 AM (approximately 4h 30m after my last dose) I am able to play and even win a few card games again, but I am still extremely dissociated. Sometime around 4:30 or 5:00 AM I finally doze off.

Around 6:30 my girlfriend wakes me up to go for a walk. Waking up is like getting hit by a train. I'm dehydrated, I have a pounding headache, and I am still extremely intoxicated. I still feel crunchy and somewhat two dimensional. There is a great deal of visual static. Standing up and walking is not hard, but motor function and balance are definitely still impaired. I am able to talk without slurring my speech, but I do feel a bit braindead. More sleep is definitely in order, but I am able to write this trip report over breakfast and coffee from 7:30 to 9:30 AM (T + 8h30m - 10h30m).
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, P&S
Staff member
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Feb 8, 2006
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47,147
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In the mountains
Really good report, it brought me there with you, thanks. :)

Wait, what's that? I didn't beat the game, I fucking broke it! Ah, shit. Yep, I think I finally broke my brain this time. There's no way I'm coming back from this. Oh well, at least this is an extremely pleasant state of mind to be trapped in for the rest of my life. If there even is a "rest of my life." Maybe I'm dying. Yeah, I think I'm probably dying. That's ... really going to suck for my girlfriend to find me dead in the morning. I'm sorry, girl! I wish I could tell her it's alright, that I only died because I broke the game. I wish I could tell her that I passed peacefully. Oh well.
This reminds me so much of a place I was at for a while when I plugged 20mg of 4-HO-DMT (pure), I had an ego death, believed I was actually dying, and felt such remorse at my then-fiance finding me dead. I also simultaneously believed that my death was going to restart the universe and that the lessons from my hubris and folly ("me" being all of us in this universe, not JUST "me") would eventually propagate into legend and the underlying ethos of the intelligent species that would arise.
 

Anabasis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 17, 2015
Messages
247
I put on the album Migration by Bonobo
Most of this album is largely disappointing for me (admittedly my expectations were high). It felt disjointed. I wish the whole thing had centered on the track Second Sun, which would have made it transformative for me.
 

MundaneDivinity

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 18, 2014
Messages
118
Location
PNW
Most of this album is largely disappointing for me (admittedly my expectations were high). It felt disjointed. I wish the whole thing had centered on the track Second Sun, which would have made it transformative for me.
The first time listening to it having been this experience, I can’t say that I remember it very well, but my gut impression is that it wasn’t quite as nice of a tour guide as the other two I mentioned were. I honestly only listen to Bonobo when I’m going into a hole for whatever it’s worth.
 
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