2 years from last posting here, my sibling is using heroin again... My parents are too old/weak to be able to deal with him & I have no idea how to talk to him anymore. My parents are still giving him money and I don't think he would ever accept to go to rehab.
The pandemic has made his situation a lot worse as far as complete isolation, depression, frequency of drug use and injury.
I am so desperate for him to get well, my only current options are to intercept his drug parcels by informing the post office (which would get him arrested) or get him committed (which he would never forgive me for...). Talking to him often feels like a dead-end as he is in permanent denial, unwilling to accept help, though his situation seems like it's as bad as it's ever been...
How do I help someone in trouble??
Don't tell the post office, don't get law enforcement involved.
I've been on the other side of this, as in, been the one with a serious heroin problem with parents and siblings worrying about me.
If they did something like that, I'd be inclined to run off and just cut them out from my life completely. I wouldn't talk to them again until I was ready to get better on my own.
I know you're desperate to help him, I can relate to that too, so I understand where you're coming from in wanting to try anything that might get them help, but I honestly don't think it'll make anything better.
People have to be ready to get better, or they won't. Forcing them to get better before they're ready is likely to just make things worse.
some of you might not like my opinion but..
what about giving him 2 option first option is recovery by suboxone then vivitrol (one shot every month) or kicking him outside the home
you have gived him 2 option, you are not asshole by doing this
consider talking to who give him money (parents) to be able to do this
what you think guys about probability for this to work?
While I'm not sure about exactly this option, I think you're on the right line of thought here.
The sad reality is... you may not actually be able to help him, you may just have to create some distance for your own sake and hope for the best. But, before getting to that point, I think it would be a good idea to offer to help in a way that's more positive (seriously if my family court ordered me into withdrawal, I'm not sure I'd ever forgive them, I'd definitely never trust them again).
What you could do is offer to help financially with substitution therapy, like subuxone, or methadone if that's an option, and if he doesn't comply, you cut him off financially (if that's possible).
My family eventually cut me off, and while that did make things worse in the short term... I wound up homeless, begging, prostituting, stealing. It did eventually make things so bad that I was ready to seriously explore getting off heroin.
And unlike trying to force me into withdrawal or get me in trouble with the law, I understood them cutting me off financially and didn't hold any grudge over it. I already felt guilty using them for money anyway so I very much understood their position.
It's still a risk, if he says no, you'll have to do it, you can't be bluffing. And that may make things worse at first. Saddly things may have to get worse for him before they get better. In truth, some people die before they're ready to get better. Forcing him into rehab could cause that too. If you force someone into withdrawal before they're ready, they'll likely use again soon as they're able, but without their tolerance, it could kill them. Many junkies have died this way saddly.
If I were you. I think the ideal option would be to go to him, explain that you love him and want to help him. If it's at all possible, offer to help get him on a maintenance therapy, either financially, driving him there, being there with him, whatever. You can bring up other options too like rehab, but if he's anything like me, and especially if he's not otherwise ready to get off opioids, I think maintenance therapy has the best shot of getting him to agree.
But, he might not. If not, I would suggest cutting him off. Still be there for him, tell him you love him, offer emotional support, but don't give him money anymore.
If this isn't possible, because of your parents, or whatever. Then unfortunately, there may not be anything you can do but try and distance yourself for your own sanity and hope for the best.
But I honestly think involving law enforcement or compelled rehab is a bad idea. Apart from the suffering you'll be bringing on him, the enormous loss of trust and communication, and the danger of further damaging his future. There's no guarantee it'll work. If he's not ready it probably won't. It might seem to help at first, but it's likely he'll just say whatever anyone wants to hear till he can use again. I would. And then he'd have the added danger of lost tolerance.
Good luck. It's a horrible position to be in. I hope you can get through to him.
