I'll just start this off with some basic info that might give more insight on my problem.
I am a 22 year old female, 5'7 and weigh 120 pounds. I have dealt with chronic depression/Dysthymia, General Anxiety Disorder with periods of severe panic attacks, and Insomnia for the past 10 years and have a neurological disorder that gives me headaches every day, along with migraines at 3-6 times a week for the last 8 years.
I seem to metabolize medications very fast, but because I am on the lighter side, my general practitioners and psychiatrists have always started me at the minimum dosages of medications thinking that it may even be too much to even start with. Yet, every single time, I end up at the higher spectrum/close to maximum dosages with little results.
I went to therapy on and off during the time that I've had all of these problems..ranging from sessions once a month for a few month and up to once or twice a week. I have tried different therapists in order to find someone who I felt comfortable with and who had an agenda that could help me (maybe 5 in total).
I wanted to try my best to make therapy work, committing to it because I wanted to be able to fix these problems head on, but gave in about 5 years ago and decided to take the medicinal route. I tried a few psychiatrists, began trial and error attempts with different antidepressants and antianxiety medications, only to ultimately stop them a year ago. I must have been on a dozen or so medications, but none gave me any relief and some made my symptoms much worse or made me feel like a zombie. I didn't want to live that way anymore, so I safely weaned myself off of them and attempted to manage it all myself. I can honestly say that I have been able to manage my GAD to the point where I haven't had a panic attack in a year and rarely have anxiety attacks. My depression and insomnia have remained the same.
After my father and sister began seeing a new psychiatrist for ADHD, I decided to have a consultation with her as my last attempt. Thinking that she'd simply agree with my past diagnoses, she diagnosed me with adult ADHD, stated that my symptoms show a "different" effect in me; being the cause of my lack of motivation, loss of enjoyment in anything, and inability to get myself up to do much.
She started me on Vyvanse, but after I lost a significant amount of weight from it, she changed me to Adderall. While she wanted to address the ADHD, she thought that this would have better effects in treating my depression. She then started me at 10 mg of Adderall IR a day and moved up to 20mg twice a day.
The effects of the 10 were supposed to last me 8-12 hours, but only worked for 2 with a small "crash" type of feeling..and even after I went up to 20 mg twice a day, I still got a maximum of 4 hours from each(on a good day), but still felt that that this was the only medication that provided me a positive effect in treating my depression.
Now, she and I both decided to try the XR form, hoping the effects would be more consistent rather than increasing my IR or taking it more than twice a day, giving me 20mg to take in the morning and 20mg of IR to take when I need a "boost", as she put it.
I always take my first dosage half an hour before I need to wake up, so I can fall back asleep and have the medication begin working close to when I get up for the day. I know that, unlike antidepressants which take at least a month to have effects, Adderall is fast acting and should begin working in an hour or so, but have felt no effects. I decided to strictly take just the XR in the morning in order to give it a full chance to work and to reserve my tolerance. I did this for a week and a half. For the past 3 days, I have taken the IR hours later to hopefully help
I know this medication is fast acting, unlike antidepressants which take months to show the smallest effect, but I decided to continue taking only the XR in the morning for two weeks, just in case my body was regulating it differently. I often have to count my pills just to make sure I even took it because I haven't felt it working AT ALL. The only reaction I've gotten has been paradoxical effects since day one. I understand that my sleeping habits may have compromised some effects when I took 20mg IR twice a day, but I have been regulating my sleeping habits, getting a few hours more than I normally have (still not getting a normal amount of sleep, but much better than I have been over the years), and even with that, I feel less motivated and productive, much more tired, moody, and overall more depressed than I've been in a long time.
I started taking the 20 mg IR later in the afternoon these past 3 day, hoping it will at least regulate me back to where I was before, but I no longer feel any effect from that either.
Now, the Vyvanse and Adderall have been the first medication that I have ever been prescribed that have given me a positive effect. I had previously lost all hope in medicating my psychological disorder after so many attempts, but within days of these two, I was so optimistic because they began to aid them. They have even worked a tremendous relief for my chronic migraines, going from the daily headaches and multiple migraines a week to only two slight pressure headaches a week and maybe four migraines in 5 months! The only side effects that I have gotten was weight loss, which I have corrected by drinking a milk-based protein shake an hour after taking the pill, slight dry mouth, and occasional heartburn whenever the dosages are increased (I've had heartburn occasionally in the past and was given a short term regiment of Nexium back when I was 14, so this isn't completely new). The heartburn hasn't been bad at all, just mild discomfort, so I take 2 Tums at the onset.
I have followed all of the suggestions given since the beginning in order to have the medication work best (taking it on an empty stomach, avoiding carbonated drinks and caffeine at least an hour prior to and after, drinking more water, etc.) Even the mildly dosed Chelated Magnesium supplements I take at night to help me fall asleep are said to be beneficial in the absorption of the medications.
So I am following every rule, regulation, and suggestion given, but am now getting the completely opposite reaction. What can I do to help myself on a daily basis? I can't take this terrible drawback. My depression is becoming more and more debilitating and my doctor is in another state, so I can't see her until I go back in a few months. I know I can call and tell her what is happening, but it will take at least a week for me to get my medication filled and shipped to me..and I don't know if it will even be that short of a time, since these are controlled substances and pharmacies withhold refills for 30 days after each refill.
I know this is a lot of information, but I feel like it is all beneficial in pinpointing any specific problem that could be in the way.
Any advise is welcome. Thanks for reading th
I am a 22 year old female, 5'7 and weigh 120 pounds. I have dealt with chronic depression/Dysthymia, General Anxiety Disorder with periods of severe panic attacks, and Insomnia for the past 10 years and have a neurological disorder that gives me headaches every day, along with migraines at 3-6 times a week for the last 8 years.
I seem to metabolize medications very fast, but because I am on the lighter side, my general practitioners and psychiatrists have always started me at the minimum dosages of medications thinking that it may even be too much to even start with. Yet, every single time, I end up at the higher spectrum/close to maximum dosages with little results.
I went to therapy on and off during the time that I've had all of these problems..ranging from sessions once a month for a few month and up to once or twice a week. I have tried different therapists in order to find someone who I felt comfortable with and who had an agenda that could help me (maybe 5 in total).
I wanted to try my best to make therapy work, committing to it because I wanted to be able to fix these problems head on, but gave in about 5 years ago and decided to take the medicinal route. I tried a few psychiatrists, began trial and error attempts with different antidepressants and antianxiety medications, only to ultimately stop them a year ago. I must have been on a dozen or so medications, but none gave me any relief and some made my symptoms much worse or made me feel like a zombie. I didn't want to live that way anymore, so I safely weaned myself off of them and attempted to manage it all myself. I can honestly say that I have been able to manage my GAD to the point where I haven't had a panic attack in a year and rarely have anxiety attacks. My depression and insomnia have remained the same.
After my father and sister began seeing a new psychiatrist for ADHD, I decided to have a consultation with her as my last attempt. Thinking that she'd simply agree with my past diagnoses, she diagnosed me with adult ADHD, stated that my symptoms show a "different" effect in me; being the cause of my lack of motivation, loss of enjoyment in anything, and inability to get myself up to do much.
She started me on Vyvanse, but after I lost a significant amount of weight from it, she changed me to Adderall. While she wanted to address the ADHD, she thought that this would have better effects in treating my depression. She then started me at 10 mg of Adderall IR a day and moved up to 20mg twice a day.
The effects of the 10 were supposed to last me 8-12 hours, but only worked for 2 with a small "crash" type of feeling..and even after I went up to 20 mg twice a day, I still got a maximum of 4 hours from each(on a good day), but still felt that that this was the only medication that provided me a positive effect in treating my depression.
Now, she and I both decided to try the XR form, hoping the effects would be more consistent rather than increasing my IR or taking it more than twice a day, giving me 20mg to take in the morning and 20mg of IR to take when I need a "boost", as she put it.
I always take my first dosage half an hour before I need to wake up, so I can fall back asleep and have the medication begin working close to when I get up for the day. I know that, unlike antidepressants which take at least a month to have effects, Adderall is fast acting and should begin working in an hour or so, but have felt no effects. I decided to strictly take just the XR in the morning in order to give it a full chance to work and to reserve my tolerance. I did this for a week and a half. For the past 3 days, I have taken the IR hours later to hopefully help
I know this medication is fast acting, unlike antidepressants which take months to show the smallest effect, but I decided to continue taking only the XR in the morning for two weeks, just in case my body was regulating it differently. I often have to count my pills just to make sure I even took it because I haven't felt it working AT ALL. The only reaction I've gotten has been paradoxical effects since day one. I understand that my sleeping habits may have compromised some effects when I took 20mg IR twice a day, but I have been regulating my sleeping habits, getting a few hours more than I normally have (still not getting a normal amount of sleep, but much better than I have been over the years), and even with that, I feel less motivated and productive, much more tired, moody, and overall more depressed than I've been in a long time.
I started taking the 20 mg IR later in the afternoon these past 3 day, hoping it will at least regulate me back to where I was before, but I no longer feel any effect from that either.
Now, the Vyvanse and Adderall have been the first medication that I have ever been prescribed that have given me a positive effect. I had previously lost all hope in medicating my psychological disorder after so many attempts, but within days of these two, I was so optimistic because they began to aid them. They have even worked a tremendous relief for my chronic migraines, going from the daily headaches and multiple migraines a week to only two slight pressure headaches a week and maybe four migraines in 5 months! The only side effects that I have gotten was weight loss, which I have corrected by drinking a milk-based protein shake an hour after taking the pill, slight dry mouth, and occasional heartburn whenever the dosages are increased (I've had heartburn occasionally in the past and was given a short term regiment of Nexium back when I was 14, so this isn't completely new). The heartburn hasn't been bad at all, just mild discomfort, so I take 2 Tums at the onset.
I have followed all of the suggestions given since the beginning in order to have the medication work best (taking it on an empty stomach, avoiding carbonated drinks and caffeine at least an hour prior to and after, drinking more water, etc.) Even the mildly dosed Chelated Magnesium supplements I take at night to help me fall asleep are said to be beneficial in the absorption of the medications.
So I am following every rule, regulation, and suggestion given, but am now getting the completely opposite reaction. What can I do to help myself on a daily basis? I can't take this terrible drawback. My depression is becoming more and more debilitating and my doctor is in another state, so I can't see her until I go back in a few months. I know I can call and tell her what is happening, but it will take at least a week for me to get my medication filled and shipped to me..and I don't know if it will even be that short of a time, since these are controlled substances and pharmacies withhold refills for 30 days after each refill.
I know this is a lot of information, but I feel like it is all beneficial in pinpointing any specific problem that could be in the way.
Any advise is welcome. Thanks for reading th
