Heroin help me be a functioning user

[Ziebug]

When I copped today right before work, there was such a relief I started crying, I'm usually a dark sider but I'm using til I can afford to go to a detox or I might lose my soul first.... When ones reaction to getting dope is to sob in relief, you know your in the thick of it... We always talk about how terrible detox is, but I tend to ignore the mental aspect of being hooked... Now in truth I cried for my physical wellbeing too, because I was deathly afraid of being sick at work but some of it is the anxiety and depression that's goes with being an opiatehead.... So what's going to happen when I detox, when I get out? Will I be sobbing everywhere I go for months, in that case fuck it, might as well use at that point.... So my question is this, how do you function as a heroin addict.... How do ya'll escape waking up sick everyday? That sucks dude, any tricks to make my last hit last the night? What about opiate potentiaters? Are they worth it? Plus when you do Benadryl or Dxm, doesn't it have its own buzz, so wouldn't it distract from my h buzz? And the feeling from Benadryl is terrible to be honest, never tried Dxm.... Also I plug or sniff depending on the kind... If it's to dry I remoisten and sniff... If it's super tarry, I plug.... I know too much info, but I'm am the only one of my friends that uses so, any advice ya'll could give me to stretch it out would be very appreciated.... Should I start iv? I spend around a bill a day right now and I've read the bioavailability is much better and more reliable through iv.... Or am I asking to lose myself completely going that route? Plus my dope is pretty dirty and I'm afraid of fucking up my veins.....anyway, thanks bluelight... Please help me learn to make this work for my life right now.....
ziebug

 

[Kid Amine]

DO NOT START IV. You know the answer to this, you just dont want to hear it, but Im going to tell you anyway: you cant be a functioning H user for long. Sure, you might keep it together for a while, maybe even a few years, but eventually it will get to a point of no return.

I escaped waking up sick everyday by having a good job at the time and virtually no bills. I could afford a rack a day habit (of banging dubs) for a long time. Even once I quit that job, I had enough sidework to keep going... then I didnt, so I started selling all my shit. Eventually I got to the point I told my shrink about my habit, so he prescribed me opiates (good luck on that happening now). Even then, after being away from H for 8 months, I ran short on my methadone, couldnt get a refill, so I copped 3 bags, and ODd.

The key to not waking up sick, aside from quitting, is leaving a good morning dose. You will be SO much more at ease knowing you can work and do the shit you NEED to get done before being sick.

There isnt much that safely potentiates H in my experience.

I hope you do not have to get to the point where you've lost everything to appreciate waking up and NOT needing H. For me, the game, as it were, has changed so much in the past 15 years, I dont have the patience to deal with all the bullshit anymore.

 

[speedballs_over]

I don't think this is what you want to read, but I'm trying to assist you.

Please consider ORT (opioid replacement therapy), aka bupe or methadone.

Detox centers, in or outpatient may get you off the dope, but from your writing I get the sense that cravings will be significant and you, like most of us dopers, may well relapse quickly. I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to show you where just detox might lead, and does for the majority of users.

Please consider maintenance, or if you don't like that idea maybe a 28 day taper with methadone or bupe. That stable period may be all you need. Hard to say. I just wouldn't want to hear that you went IV. Methadone or bupe will get you through the night, easily once you establish proper dose.

Again, not criticising, I've been where you are, I advocate for ORT, even for short term habits b/c it's the evidence based approach to success in treating opioid dependency. It's the gold standard. People will disagree, that's fine, as mine is just one of a billion opinions about how to treat opioid dependency. I've lost two friends who wouldn't go ORT b/c they didn't think they'd been using long enough, or were so needle fixated they went back to dope. They're dead.

I wish you the best. When I got on MMT (methadone) one of the best things was sleeping well and not waking up sick. Before that I'd always saved a morning dose, but trying to hit myself while sick sucked, with banged up arms it would often take me a half hour or more.

Get out now b/c it only gets worse, that's a statement I'll defend to the end.

Best wishes, take care.

 

[smackydowners]

yeah, man, you seriously dont want to go the IV route. you think shit's bad now, imagine how much worse you'll be if you start shooting! plus the rectal BA is quite close to IV, so you ewont even be getting higher, just the rush, then you'll be chasing that and banging fucktons more, getting yourself even deeper in the shit.

if you can't stop before going to rehab, get on methadone or bupe asap.

 

[Mad Dash]

I am sorry brother but there is no such thing as a functioning heroin addict, it can definitely start that way. It did for me. Made me better at everything I did, it worked for me the way adderall works for most others. It soon gets out of hand however. After about a year of using I started using almost daily, and by that point it was game over because my tolerance would HAVE to go up to get the same effect. This lead to financial problems lying, stealing, doing whatever I had to do to not be sick.

All too common of a story. Get clean now while you can. Best of luck.

 

[mike.vick]

dude, nothing is better than satisfying a need. don't beat yourself up about crying in releif. that is the fun part of it. No don't shoot it up, don't stick it in your ass. Just keep titrating down. Never increase your dose, only decrease. Never use "potentiators" there is not such thing. Save the actual potentiators like benzos and muscle relaxers for your kick. Get gabapentin, either from a doctor or on the street and you will greatly help take the "kick" out of kicking - since it treats RLS.
I've been using daily for 3 months now, can't wait to quit. I would avoid ORT as the guy above suggests. A longer half-life equals a greater deficit. I agree with what mad dash says.

 

[Mad Dash]

also if you are spending a hundred dollars a day now you are spending $33,6600 a year. It only gets worse That is more than most people make in a year, and if it is not your money (ie: parents,stealing,loans) you are in for an even bigger problem. I know man it sucks.

 

[Thomas29]

Word Brahseph!!

 

[timetohunt]

You asked about detox and rehab.
If you can allow yourself to be quarantined , it really could help. It depends on the person. It can give you the head start you need. I find that most opiate addicts are real wusses. Your only giving up 2 weeks of physical discomfort. Yes the minutes seem like days at times. If you are under 35 or so, you have a major advantage. Your body can rebound quickly, and the plasticity of the brain is ready to help itself back to normal. The aftermath or PAWS is deadly for most of us. It really boils down to be OK with not "not being ok" for some time. Months for some, a year for others, and the young strong lucky ones get back to normal in a few weeks.I almost shed tears for those thinking they can live side by side with opiates. Then again, even there are a few who can. Less than one percent, and you are probably not that special. If you want to enjoy your life, make the sacrifice now and do whatever you can to get out. The IV is your next step to unbearable hell. If your IQ is about 50, go for it. The gene pool likely doesn't need you anyway. But if you are intelligent, like to have fun, want a good partner, and generally wish to enjoy being a living part of this universe.....stop now, do it yourself, get help....but gut it out and stop. I've lived a thousand miseries because I didn't take this type of feedback seriously.

 

[manboychef]

I have stopped opiates since Nov 4 2014. I tried maintenence, I tried just shooting a little. It eventually gets the better of you.

I cannot say what will work for you, but I can tell you what worked for me.

I went to a seven day detox and immediately went to two months of inpatient treatment. I follow up with a psychiatrist and a psychologist as well as see my primary care physician regularly to make sure that the reasons I self medicate are mitigated to a point that I can manage them.

Good luck. You are much stronger than you know.

 

[AmbarrZ]

The way I see it , the "it's not if , but when" approach is best.
I think a lot of us function at first , but eventually we might end up not so much. As for me, I started half-assing everything, trying to look functional but my heart was like "shot time "

 

[dognasher]

Please don't start to IV. Not only is it completely addictive, but it opens you up to other addictions because pretty soon you're gonna be shooting anything you can put in a needle. When the day comes that you're grateful to JUST be addicted to heroin, you know you're fucked.

I have tried and tried to chip and potentiate and moderate and try different ROAs and yadda yadda yadda....it works for a while but you always come back full circle. That being said, if you're not ready to stop, you're not going to stop. Eventually you realize it isn't sustainable, and you either get on maintenance, get clean, or die. Those are really your 3 options. Probably not what you want to hear.

And I have TOTALLY wept with relief when I was sick and finally scored. But looking back on it, every time I was fiending and finally got something, it was always anticlimactic. When you're using, you're always anxious about being sick, tolerance, dealers, the law, blah blah. When you're clean you are always anxious about staying clean or you're dreaming about the drug. The angst is part of it, unfortunately. Man, if I could find a way to sustain a heroin addiction and still stay functional I would A) Be the happiest bitch in the world and B) Be a rich woman.

 

[pbuilder]

also if you are spending a hundred dollars a day now you are spending $33,6600 a year. It only gets worse That is more than most people make in a year, and if it is not your money (ie: parents,stealing,loans) you are in for an even bigger problem. I know man it sucks.

Nice math man lol, but you mean 36 grand a year. 36,000$

Which is a fuck ton but most people with a half decent full time job make that much or more.

 

[Mad Dash]

Nice math man lol, but you mean 36 grand a year. 36,000$

Which is a fuck ton but most people with a half decent full time job make that much or more.

I am no good at math, I have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) from being in two IED explosions in the 'stan. I CAN NOT for the life of me do math correctly any more. Whatever part of the brain is responsible for that got damaged in multiple percussive blasts. I always end up with the right numbers but never in the right order. It is the strangest thing. Which sucks because I use to be very good at math I could do large calculations in my head. Side note: I was not in the vehicle that got hit either time. First time, I was in the follow vehicle, pressure wave was so powerful nearly knocked me out and I was deaf for like 2 minutes. Killed the driver, the gunner, and injured a good friends of mine who was in passenger seat. Second time I was like 4 vehicles back so it wasn't AS bad but it sure didn't help. No KIAs or injuries the second time luckily. Only the primary charge actually went off. EOD found 6 other daisy chained charges in a huge circle around the blast area. If the wires had not been so corroded I would not be typing this.

And yes that much or more, but when you consider all the other bills one would have to pay: home, car, insurance, credit, mortgage/rent, food, water, electricity, etc... that is hardly a sustainable life. Truth be told if you made more money like $200,000 / year you would probably just have an insane tolerance and ruin your life just the same. My rehab had mostly soldiers or medical professionals. You would be amazed how many anesthesiologists lived paycheck to paycheck b/c of their INSANE tolerances. I mean when you guys think you have a problem with opiate tolerance we are talking about people who for YEARS abused Fentanyl. Some of them were injecting milligrams at a time. crazyness.

 

[cj]

Maintenance.