Heroin has anyone here actually kicked Heroin forever?

[JackiePeyton]

Thanks for the advice. Oh yeh; living on H is totally do-able with a constant supply; it's the lack thereof that starts to interfere and ruin lives.
Burroughs is my hero.....Actually my screenname refers to Dr. Benway from the book/movie "Naked Lunch".

Five months is great!. do you still have any RLS? or trouble sleeping?

Peace man.
Benway189

I love Bill Burroughs too.

 

[phactor]

violating probation and going to NYS prison for 3 years 3 months saved my life, I was a heroin addict just beginning the destruction with the needle, my dream then back in 2004 was to just get one of them "fear this" bags that's so potent it was killing people, I wanted to feel that rush and bliss and if I died, im ok with that, that was my happy place.
what a disgusting way to think and live! from 05-08 I was clean, when I got out I relapsed for the summer of 08, then stopped. went on suboxone, had a girlfriend after so many years, didn't want to lose her, we had 2 kids together, now I was on suboxon for years, and methadone these past 2. in prison all I obsessed about was heroin, I honestly didn't give a fuck about the high I just wanted to be not sick and feel normal, and went on methadone, which worked..but my times SOBER my life and thinking and morals were way higher, felt better about myself, learned a lot about myself..yet here I am still using opiates regardless if not heroin. I got discharged from the clinic, and now been shooting dope again, this time with old timers and kings that would have NYC brick grade heroin, been buying quarter oz at a time using my settlement money, seems I go through an 8 ball in 2 days. I need to get on methadone before this kills me. idk why I wrote this, but im going back upstate in septmeber for 2yrs, long story..boy will I feel that pain without my fincee and my children...that's my excuse guess, see no hope or future until after September.. I plan on buying 5grams this week, selling 9 bundles makng my money back to get high for free and extra money..never have I had it this deep, settlement money will kill u, I would be used to getting bags and bundles now I laugh when people get bundles cause I can get a gram for same prise,, quality is bettr, and can get 2-3 bundles out of it. my concept of money is destroyed, I would have 1500 dollars go get a motel with my girl for 2days, come home broke..aw I ggotta stop or ill break down,...dark side I may visit soon!

Wow, I remember you from way back in the day. I also remember your mom posting as well, giving us updates and whatnot.

Sorry you are struggling. I don't have settlement money but a person close to me is an attorney. His clients can really struggle with the money when they get it. He doesn't take clients that are not in treatment or recovery (if they have had addiction issues) but he is one of the few to do so.

I have been off and on myself, not as much dope but I drank a ton and did other opiates (any and all I could get) and other shit pretty frequently. I cannot use at all, so I am clean today. I suck at using drugs and while I sometimes miss the high (which were never that good for a long time) I like being clean way more the using all things considered.

 

[opiatekrzy]

what was ur old bluelight name? yeah its a bitch, im off methadone, and been buying 5-7 grams of heroin at once,going thru 1 1/2 grams a day..now im going back upstate in September for 2yrs..have 2 kids now..10yrs later..yeah time flies along with your name

 

[phactor]

what was ur old bluelight name? yeah its a bitch, im off methadone, and been buying 5-7 grams of heroin at once,going thru 1 1/2 grams a day..now im going back upstate in September for 2yrs..have 2 kids now..10yrs later..yeah time flies along with your name

This one, I had one before but I have used this since 02.

 

[milkmorecow]

I don't want to temp the cosmos with the word "forever" but I last used heroin dec 28 2006 and was on suboxone for a time and stopped.

I had two shoulder surgeries between 2014 and 2015 after taking pain pills I had the old feelings and got on suboxone until a week ago. Ive been off subs for 9 days with the help of kratom.

the idea of using heroin makes me sick to my stomach! I pray I never use it again! I keep no friends from the past aside for one whom I am trying to be a positive influence to( he's in jail.)

Give yourself to christ, take responsibilities for your own actions and pray for change in your life! It can happen!

Good luck and God Bless!

 

[withlove]

i kicked dope 13+ years ago.
i take opiates for pain and though i like them and enjoy the buzz i have never taken them beyond they way way they are prescribed. i have been using pain meds for 2-3 years. i have not in that time become physically dependant.

in the years after dope i drank to excess, i did blow for a year or 2 and i took benzos but i never relapsed on dope.
the idea of heroin is terrifying to me, as is any street drug.

i dont touch benzos, its been years (8ish), i dont drink at the moment (for my health) and i havent done coke in 10 years save for one time a couple years back that was the worst.

i dont know what exactly this means but i feel like i have recovered from heroin addiction as much as humanly possible.

 

[SayingSeven]

Benway, of course it is possible to come off and stay off. Lots of people have done it. Sometimes seems like noone makes it because the people you tend to see around you are those who haven't managed to quit yet, and you don't see those that have. They leave that circle of users and move on with their lives. I'm 10 years clean of a 7 year Heroin habit that had me IVing a gram a day every day for a long time just to stave off the withdrawal and feel normal. I'd do twice that when I could afford it, cooking up to half a gram in a single shot so as to get anything even approaching a decent nod out of it.

I tried and failed to detox many, many times. I've spent weekends in police stations where the doc came out and prescribed only for the police to 'lose' the meds they'd left for me. I've done rips in prison twice, climbing the walls in a 12x6 foot box with only a kettle and a mentally unstable fellow inmate to distract me from the withdrawals. I always failed to stay off because though I was sick of the lifestyle, and the shoplifting I had to do to feed my habit, the dope sickness when I didn't manage to steal enough, the constant fear of arrest and imprisonment, the violence dished out to me by my fellow addicts, and the theft of what little I had by them, I wasn't sick enough of the drugs. I still liked Heroin, and craved the oblivion it gave me. In the end I decided I'd had enough of oblivion, and was sick of being a slave, sick of the drug itself, and it was only when I reached that point that I was able to cut it forever.

It's hard coming off. The withdrawal is in some ways the easy bit. It has known symptoms, a known time-scale, and there are meds that alleviate the worst available. You can deal with that. What I found hardest to deal with was the guilt that came flooding back to me once my emotions kicked back in. I had to confront all the wrongs I'd done to the many people in my life I'd hurt, used, and abused. Some of them aren't around anymore and I can never make it up to them. I will carry that with me always, but I have been forgiven by those I hurt, and have something like a decent relationship with them once again. My life is immeasurably better than it was. I have a life, a job I've held down for 5 years plus, a relationship I've held down for the same length of time. I will never go back to Heroin. Ever. I would toss a bag away if I found one, and have done, with not a moment's thought or later regret. I do not crave the drug anymore, and I certainly do not crave the life I lived.

Man, that is refreshing to hear and makes me hopeful. Thanks for sharing that.

 

[IMtrying]

its so hard; its been years and years and I still have yet to "kick" dope. even on Suboxone I still will slip here and there; its just always something I get a "feel" for once in a while. sure, I am not using daily anymore but I still get that urge every here and there where I need SOMETHING in me; something to "feel good", right? its whacky to think that way and when I read my own writing I question myself but its something I just cannot beat at this point; its amazing to me that I still MUST USE to get WHAT?! I DONT KNOW!