Getting things in line for the end.

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Buspersons Holiday

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I'm very sorry to hear that you are doing crack despite of having a son in trouble and at the same time having suicidal behavior/thoughts together with a mental disorder, and medicated. I've been in rehabs long enough to see normal people turn into real schizophrenics, if you want to be there for your child I'd suggest that you take care of yourself first.

Our children look up to us, we are their role models. So when you have responsibility over their lives, they come first. Children with parents on drugs suffer a great deal of pain. So if you are indeed really grateful that he's still here, perhaps you should try to be there for him. Helping others, even if they are your own family can make us feel really good. More altruists.
kgeisel's response to this was a lot more measured & polite than I wanted to be when I read your response!
I think her adult son is probably grateful that she's only doing crack once a month rather than every day & that she is there for him

I totally get what you're saying about children of parents who take drugs, having been one/being one myself
It's not the best situation, granted, but there are situations when drugs enable parents to be the parents that their children need & would not parent functionally without - I was in that place with my first child, now an amazing, hard-working, talented, funny adult who I have a great relationship with

Fortunately I no longer have a physical drug addiction with the child I'm raising now, but mentally yes, & when that child is away alternate weekends, I WILL play, but I will also still fulfil my parental duties, love my kid, have fun & be happy!
(I'm in no way saying that drug parenting is a good thing, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing)

Edit: Have watched this tonight since posting - very topical
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08ywk12
 
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Erikmen

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I know B. Holiday. I see now how important the idea of harm reduction was for kgeisel. And how seriously she was thinking of it - aiming to be the best she could be.

We all struggle and fight with our own demons. I'm not here to judge anyone at all, don't mean to be recriminatory. I apologize if I sounded like that. Sometimes the words come out and it sounds as if we are trying to tell what someone should or shouldn't do. All I wanted was to express how important it is to focus on how much our children suffer and how difficult it is for them to react properly as they don't have the tools they need to reconcile all the fear, and anxiety they often pretend not to feel.

They see us parents as heroes, we are their world and everything they got. It breaks my heart to see how this affects our little ones. All they want is to be loved, and to be accepted. This is all too confused for both parts except that we are responsible for our difficult and complicated problems regardless of the fact it sometimes can't be solved. Or not at the moment.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts so honestly. I appreciate the feedback and truly hope we all get some sort of resolution at some point.
 
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kgeisel98

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Buspersons Holiday I want to thank you for your compassion. I am use to being judged negatively and when someone shows compassion towards me it gets me right in the heart and brings me to tears. I gave my 2 boys up when they were 3 & 4 years old because I was afraid of physically abusing them. I use to rage during my Premenstrual Disphoric Disorder (extreme pms x 10) and was out of control. It took years of trying meds and hormones to get me to a place where I felt people were safe to be around me (still don't leave the house a few days a month). I ended up parenting again when things started to improve and my Mom's cancer returned after 16 years. All I can say is that I've tried to be the best mom I've been able to be and been selfless in giving custody of my boys to my Mom to protect them. There's more but that's enough for now. I've rambled enough.

Erikmen in an ideal world every child would be raised with high self esteem and never abused physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually. I regret the issues that I have caused my children. I can't change the past all I can do is love them with my entire being and help/support them in any way possible. Focusing on the positive and acknowledging their accomplishments in life. And getting outside of myself to be more present for them. I attended several parenting groups which did help. I believe that it truly takes a village to raise a child.
 

Buspersons Holiday

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Bless youse, Erikmen & kgeisel
Sorry I'm too tired for a more articulate, intelligent response right now, but hear what you're both saying

kgeisel, I have a very close family member who suffers with PMDD, I hope you don't mind if I pm you another day regarding that & what worked for you - she's struggling, as are the family around her (I've only ever been present for one episode of it, not that long ago, having only heard her descriptions before - as you will already well know, it was grim!)
 

bluebellbutterfly

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'my feet went up in the air, it looked all dramatic to other cars.' that turn of phrase and the image that it created I find rather amusing! Much needed lightness amongst the darkness of this thread.
 

Erikmen

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Buspersons Holiday I want to thank you for your compassion. I am use to being judged negatively and when someone shows compassion towards me it gets me right in the heart and brings me to tears. I gave my 2 boys up when they were 3 & 4 years old because I was afraid of physically abusing them. I use to rage during my Premenstrual Disphoric Disorder (extreme pms x 10) and was out of control. It took years of trying meds and hormones to get me to a place where I felt people were safe to be around me (still don't leave the house a few days a month). I ended up parenting again when things started to improve and my Mom's cancer returned after 16 years. All I can say is that I've tried to be the best mom I've been able to be and been selfless in giving custody of my boys to my Mom to protect them. There's more but that's enough for now. I've rambled enough.

Erikmen in an ideal world every child would be raised with high self esteem and never abused physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually. I regret the issues that I have caused my children. I can't change the past all I can do is love them with my entire being and help/support them in any way possible. Focusing on the positive and acknowledging their accomplishments in life. And getting outside of myself to be more present for them. I attended several parenting groups which did help. I believe that it truly takes a village to raise a child.
I am very happy to see how positive you are and how you have turned things around. You are right, it takes a lot of people to raise a child, and even if we do it perfectly there will always be that feeling we didn't do the best regardless of all efforts, and having done what we could within our own limits.

You seem so transparent, and I believe I can relate to you and to each other, after all there's a lot of pain and trouble being an addict and so many other things mandatory in life we must follow although sometimes we simply can't. Recognizing that is indeed the first step forward to the future. To a a better life.

It seems you were mature enough to have taken the right decision at the right time despite of the difficult moments and feelings you have gone through. I wish you carry own being that person who is looking forward to be better, to work on your harm reduction actions and become who you want to be. We all deserve a chance to be happy and I really wish no one takes that away from you. I can also relate to you as in regards to feeling guilty, it can be a sentence for some of us. And it takes time for us find resolution. I wish you become the your better self not only for you, but for your mom and for your kids.
 
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gmlifer

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Hey, I can get loaded and cry about made up problems if you'd like. Be a nice change of pace.
You would do that for me? That brings a tear to my eye, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Brb, my youngest is using her super power to pick up the neighbors truck and toss it behind the fence.
 

Scrofula

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WRONG Try again.

Read.

I'm sorry, I'm on my phone and I can't make out who is TheOpposite?

GETOUTTA MY THREAD.
 

gmlifer

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My daughter just read this. You better be nice or I'm going to haunt your ass!
 

Scrofula

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Well you'll have to deal with the ghosts of those two dudes I shot in the fuckin face!

YOU leave my daughter out of th1s!
 

gmlifer

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Omg I'm so drunk I can't see and I just jumped off of a moving train that was faster than a speeding bullet and the cops came so I told them how to do their job. They were fucking scared to say the least!

If y'all have kids be careful, they are extremely powerful!
 

Scrofula

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Whatever who are you GM? LIfe? what you like cars? lololol GM 4 LIFE!1 Hey I made my daughter in the back of 64 pontiac gto, GM MADE LIFE!

Yeah, totally am 27 and fuckin gorgeous even with my stage4 liver failure, you just shut the hell up STOP STEALING MY WORDS.
 

gmlifer

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Lmao, this is just wrong. I have to stop. My brain is screaming to stop.

WRONG!! READ!!!

I'm so much smarter than everyone else. I have a phdcbgqz in biology and I know all and they are stupid and know that I know.

Baby stop reading this, daddy is ok. You must stop reading baby!!
 

kgeisel98

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Bless youse, Erikmen & kgeisel
Sorry I'm too tired for a more articulate, intelligent response right now, but hear what you're both saying

kgeisel, I have a very close family member who suffers with PMDD, I hope you don't mind if I pm you another day regarding that & what worked for you - she's struggling, as are the family around her (I've only ever been present for one episode of it, not that long ago, having only heard her descriptions before - as you will already well know, it was grim!)
Feel free to pm me. I have to warn you I'm early to bed and early to rise. I feel for your family member. It isn't easy going through PMDD (that was my problem last weekend) medicated never mind without medications. I cringe when I look back at me prior to my meds!
 

Scrofula

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Lmao, this is just wrong. I have to stop. My brain is screaming to stop.
Well, yes, if this was a sincere person struggling with addiction or suicidal thoughts, I'd feel pretty awful.

Especially if she's stuck with a real haunted iphone.
 

herbavore

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All right. The Big Mom's here and party's over for this thread. I'm closing it as it has degenerated to what we not-so-affectionately call a true shit storm. OP, no one here likes being played. I hope that you will get help for whatever problems you have--whether it is alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, or mental illness. Lots of people here are dealing with one or all of those and they are nothing to play around with. Nothing pushes my buttons more than someone purposely leading good-hearted people on. I do not know if you intended to do that when you started this thread but it has obviously become that now. The damage done by threads like this is not to be understated: it makes us cynical, it makes us suspicious and wary of responding to the next person that comes in at the end of their proverbial rope genuinely seeking help. And check out how many of those sincere folks we get every single day.

kgeisel98, I hope you will start your own thread. You came into it at the end and I don't want your sincere posts to get lost in the shuffle.
 
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