I used to have a (psychological) dependency on pre-workout in that if i tried to go without it, something would feel wrong and my confidence would be shot. It got bad at times where I'd also be taking it before work. But nowadays I only use it maybe 20% of my workouts, and even then it is weaker stuff like c4. Usually i take a black coffee to the gym and that's it.
Let's say a senerio is that I get arrested and end up having to do ten years in prison. A prison with a gym. Would I have the motiation to train in there naturally? I'd like to hope so, and I'm sure I would come around to it. But i definitely see it being very discouraging at first.
I think one of the dangers is that i know that i can slack on my diet and still keep getting bigger and stronger. Now one could argue that counting macros and getting so emotionally connected to how i eat isnt that mentally healthy anyway, but knowing that i can eat pizza and wings and processed foods and still have abs and veins all over...I also have to remind myself that eating clean not only affects body composition but also my overall health, wellness and longevity. And it mitigates steroid side effects. I'm not getting any younger and just because my body ostensibly can handle tons of cheating, i have to do it right. I'm working such long hours and honestly i dont cook like i used to. I have a ton of clean food sitting at home that i just keep saying that i will cook tomorrow, and that im so tired today that i will just get subway and a couple naked drinks and call it a night.
Now I'm always using progressive overload and I love the philosophy of incremental progress. If I am having a horrible day, it can be somewhat saved by knowing that i did something right, that something is under my control, that i can exercise discipline. I love seeing daily incremental progress.
My passion really is for powerlifting, but sure, i get caught up in the aesthetics of it all because we all want to look good. A lot of what was said in that other thread applies to me...that the gym keeps me clean and sober from alcohol and hard drugs. Powerlifting gives me amazing dopamine rushes. And I've made it over three years now wanting my gym goals more than getting high. I dont really feel the vibe of the fitness industry or bodybuilding, but heavy metal and powerlifting and all of thst intensity is extremely satisfying.
I admit that i am extremely impatient when starting cycles. And that i probably do somewhat hold back if i am not convinced it has kicked in yet. Or if I'm not currently on an oral. And I'm sure that yes, I have developed a psychological depency. I knew and had accepted that this would happen before i starting using, though. I stayed natrual for a long time and it was several years of debating with myself if i really wanted to do it.
And then the use of testosterlne as an anti-depressant is a separate issue. It does a great job here. I love how i feel on it. It's weird because on mt first cycle, i didnt "feel it." I just got horny and my overloads got way easier. But the more i start and stop, the more i have learned to feel it. And it does really help. I'm probavly going to get doctor trt soon.