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First time on BL. Need help bad. Newb to pyschdelics.

Exkape86

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
5
I would like to find out a few things. Dont know where to post or who to ask. Specifically me and gf both have had horrible trauma and PTSD from experiences in life. We need help.
 
Ok, what do you need help with? I have PTSD myself and I would gladly help you.
 
I've been molested and abused most my childhood. Near death experiences. Same with my girlfriend, abusive childhood, also she found her ex dead hanging after an arguement and she cant get the image out her mind. We've recently turned to mushrooms and lsd for help instead of pills and doctors. Is there anyway when we go out "there" and leave stuff there and take stuff back with us. Thoughts, perceptions, trauma....we recently tripped about 3 days ago. On the anniversary of her ex's death. I wanted her to meet him in some sort of way...and figure things out, but when she started to go there and cry, I pulled her back, out of fear I guess. Idk why. But I want to go deeper. But I want to take things back with us...do you get what I'm saying??
 
I can't really relate but MDMA in a therapy setting has had quite amazing results for PTSD, you should look into it.

There are quite a bit of papers on the subject, and there are even some self-medicating experiences. Search on 'ptsd mdma' in the search button on top and you'll find quite a bit. I'd imagine MDMA would make you confront the trauma in a more warm and positive way, instead of psychedelics which can easily turn south.

There's been a lot of talk about it on this forum, I'm sure there will be people that can help you much more. Take care :)
 
We dosed .5 gram MDMA in crystal form, 3.5 grams mushrooms grinded into powder, and 1 hit lsd each. She started going into a bad state rapidly and living her trauma out, idk how but after 10 to 15 mins I pulled her back, and talked to her for over an hour but i would never let her talk about her past because i was scared. Idk how to handle this type of thing, especially while I'm tripping too. Any direction for furthur research would be appreciated.
 
That's A LOT, half a gram of MDMA at once is pretty insane if you're not experienced, especially with shrooms and LSD on top, be careful man, that's physically dangerous. 150mg of quality stuff should be more than enough.

I'm sure more people will chime in with more helpful answers than mine, but seriously, don't do such heroic doses, unnecessary and probably counter productive.
 
I didnt know that.
I guess...we were desperate in some wierd way to go deep and find something. Deal with something. We did trip super super hard and the last two days have been super emotional for both of us. I'm know I'm playing with fire not knowing jack shit but we are lost. Mentally emotionally spiritually lost and broken.
 
Holy shit....you sound like me back in 2005...eating all the drugs. .5g of MDMA is too much to dose at once. Look at it this way: there's no point....just leave it at under .2g as you'll most likely get diminishing returns after that point.

Anyway, I'm curious to know how you guys are both feeling today, a few days after that trip. Sounds like it would have been a pretty intense trip, especially for people who haven't done these drugs (or much of?) before. Did you guys get anything out of it or are you both just feeling worn out (physically and emotionally)?

I used MDMA and mushrooms to treat my depression back when so it'll interest me to see what you get out of this.

Be safe though....don't try and overdo it thinking that the harder you push, the better the result. I can guarantee that you'll find this to not be the case.
 
Depressed. A gloom sorta. Like I said she went to a dark place and I pulled her back. She wants to go back but I'm not equipped to help her properly. Just being real. We've been really emotional last 2 days. Idk I have this urge to go deeper and shes having anxiety I wont come back the same. Or come back worse. I feel like I have a strong mind and I want to see what I find down the rabbit hole and maybe like I said leave stuff there and take stuff back with me when I come back.
 
From my perspective, both of you took too many drugs, in a setting you weren't prepared to handle, and instead of allowing things to play out, you got scared and panicked. That'll leave a mental impression for quite a while even if nothing physical has happened.

There's an important difference between taking a reasonable dose of psychedelic with a sober sitter you trust, in a setting and time that is comfortable for you, and taking, frankly, an overdose of psychedelics in tandem with someone who is just as unprepared as you are. If you want to write a novel, you don't pound on a typewriter with both fists and expect results, you must use your tools with some finesse.

It sounds like you should find someone who is experienced enough with psychedelics to act as a sober guide, if you decide to dose again. Stick to one drug, don't overdo it (more is not neccesarily better), and allow things to play out - if you get emotional, feel the emotions, they are there for a reason. Communicate with each other and your sitter. Maybe unpleasant feelings, topics, or memories will surface. Teach yourself to accept them rather than fear them.

It also helps to plan some sort of activity to keep you occupied during the trip. Walking around on a nice day and talking, or doing arts and crafts together, or sampling interestingly-textured food, or even just sitting and observing and being mindful are all ideas. Taking psychedelics with nothing to do tends to be a bit of a waste. Don't just be sedentary either, that's for alcohol and ketamine.

In the meantime though the best way to heal is the same as ever - stay active, get enough of everything in your diet, practice sleep hygeine, be patient and confident you'll feel better, and fill your time with things that bring you joy. My advice is to not get lost in the maze of supplements or attempting to micromanage your brain's chemistry - a lot of that stuff is no better than placebo. Rather than consuming 5-HTP or tryptophan supplements which cost $$$ and only provide one amino acid, you can just eat some salmon or cheese, which has all 26 amino acids plus some calories and fat. A multivitamin should be all you need and even then that's usually just for sanity's sake rather than a requirement.

By the way, being scared of personal change is understandable but once you think about it for a bit it doesn't make sense. You wake up every day a slightly different person than the day before - that doesn't seem to bother people. LSD or any other psychedelic are experiences. that's all. Like any experience in your life it's up to you to decide if it's a good one or not. But you should take some comfort in that the vast majority of people taking psychedelics tend to see the change they produce as positive. You don't see very many people whose lives have been totally destroyed from psilocybin mushrooms, the same way you'd see with alcohol, meth, or opiates.
 
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I would like to find out a few things. Dont know where to post or who to ask. Specifically me and gf both have had horrible trauma and PTSD from experiences in life. We need help.
Sorry for your troubles. Maybe have a look here:
 
Depressed. A gloom sorta. Like I said she went to a dark place and I pulled her back. She wants to go back but I'm not equipped to help her properly. Just being real. We've been really emotional last 2 days. Idk I have this urge to go deeper and shes having anxiety I wont come back the same. Or come back worse. I feel like I have a strong mind and I want to see what I find down the rabbit hole and maybe like I said leave stuff there and take stuff back with me when I come back.

Yeah, you guys deffo overdid it...there's no need for that. It isn't a case of do more and get more necessarily.

I suggest you read very carefully the post by @sekio and mind what it says. Straight wisdom in that post and you can't go wrong heeding that particular advice.
 
Yeah as a fellow PTSD sufferer I don’t know if I’d recommend you doing this without a professional setting to back you .

The people using psychedelics to regress and resolve past trauma are doing so with trained professionals guiding them, and they’re microdosing, not taking full blown trips.

Some guys have posted plenty of research about this I believe if you search the threads, at least arm yourself with a little knowledge before trying to do this again.

You both have some pretty serious trauma to deal with there, you don’t want to risk making yourself more unwell.

Tbh I’m scared of hallucinogens, I’ve seen it do some nasty shit to people I love.
An old friend of mine was raised by a monster of a man, he was raped and bashed and spent 10 years on the road with his mother as a kid running from their tormentor.
A few years ago he went to a party and popped 3 acid trips before driving to his sisters in the country.
When he arrived, he’d completely lost his mind. He believed his father was chasing him, and that he needed to kill him to protect his sisters and mother.
We later found out that his father had actually been in the same town as them, pat had really seen him, by chance, and the trips took him to a really bad place together with that trigger.

He’s still there. In and out of psych wards. He won’t be recovering
 
How resilient people can be!
Such hard experiences to digest, and digest you must, and medicine is not going to do it without time and pro-help and effort on your parts, but you have got off to a wild start and lived to tell the tale.
yes, do get good help!
and good luck dealing with life which is never ever perfect for anyone.
 
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