First Post from a BL newbie

[Mistressofitness]

Hi All! I made account a while ago but never really used it much. I decided to get active as I am trying to get off the opiates and plan to look at some of the recovery stuff on here. I am on a low dose of Suboxone right now and seeing addiction doc. Over 20 yrs ago I quit drinking (was definitely alcoholic) and haven't touched it since..poison for me. Turns out opiates are poison for me too.

I went to AA when I quit drinking but left 10yrs ago as it got hard to "take what I liked and leave the rest". I am an atheist and could never really connect with the god thing (tho believe me I tried, I kept open mind! but it ended up making me realize I just was not a believer. plus there were other things I didn't care for there- and eventually felt I wasn't growing ant longer within the confines of the 12 step model. Although 12 step helped me tremendously in many ways and saved my life- I want to find some support that would be better fit for me ..so thought I would start here I feel like the bupe is not really great for me as I feel the opiate in my system and some effects are not desirable. I also sometimes abuse it and need to just take as directed!!! Thanks for listening see you out there!

 

[somnilicious]

Hi Mistressofitness and welcome to Bluelight. I am usually a very active participant in sober living but it's been a minute. I hope to see you there. I love your avatar pic btw...

 

[GENGAR]

Hello welcome to bluelight

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Hello @Mistressofitness.

I am in NA, and am having trouble recognizing a higher power. I don't think of myself as atheist, instead I'm open to the idea but have no proof. Maybe I need Devine intervention.

Good luck to you, and welcome to Bluelight!

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

... and eventually felt I wasn't growing ant longer within the confines of....

Yeah I get this a lot through out life and mostly get to the point of border "depression" (which I call growing pains) where I withdraw (as if I could get farther "away" from people and just "wait" on some insight or answer from the great vibe in the pie sky. Mos times it comes after a few days but if I do not have a few days to process/assess I have to continue my dyas with the darkness of stagnation on my mind. We wanna grow, be nurtured and to produce the best fruit available... all I see is exploitation and greedy fuc*s.
Confines are human concepts of abilities and controls (IMO). Disregarded (colloring outsside the lines) can be illuminating, freeing and sometimes brings correction and/or a beat down lol.
We need growth the sustain and keep sharp.
What other "things" pique your interests (hobbies?)?
I enjoy yard work and working on bike engines. Only if I don't have steel to erect... thats my love.
peace

 

[GENGAR]

Don’t forget to read the BLUA

 

[Mistressofitness]

Hi Mistressofitness and welcome to Bluelight. I am usually a very active participant in sober living but it's been a minute. I hope to see you there. I love your avatar pic btw...

Thanks!!! it is a collage I made its

Hi Mistressofitness and welcome to Bluelight. I am usually a very active participant in sober living but it's been a minute. I hope to see you there. I love your avatar pic btw...

Thanks! I will check out the sober living area.. Glad u like avatar- it represents the powerful little warrior inside me ..I made a collage about it and she reminds me who I really am

 

[Mistressofitness]

Hello @Mistressofitness.

I am in NA, and am having trouble recognizing a higher power. I don't think of myself as atheist, instead I'm open to the idea but have no proof. Maybe I need Devine intervention.

Good luck to you, and welcome to Bluelight!

Good luck to you too! When I was in AA, my higher power was a combination of things- one was the group of people who managed to stay sober and were relatively happy despite the odds against them..much stronger than an individuals will- collective wisdom I guess was my HP- - trusting in that helped a lot...so basically doing what was suggested by the group ie steps and having a sponsor I respected.... was enough to keep me sober for many many years. Also, my gut became my higher power- the voice we all have inside that whispers truth- sometimes u ignore it as what it says is not what you want to do (because of fear etc) and things go badly. but when you listen, you find yourself 'in the flow' because your gut was right, that to me is a higher power! it still is really as it never lies...always leads me in right direction...so I focused on listening to it and following it...instead of ignoring it. Its kinda like in bugs bunny cartoons..i picture there is a little angel cartoon figure on one shoulder, and the little devil on the other... I have gotta tune in to the angel ;-) and flick that pesky little devil off his post!!!

 

[Mistressofitness]

Yeah I get this a lot through out life and mostly get to the point of border "depression" (which I call growing pains) where I withdraw (as if I could get farther "away" from people and just "wait" on some insight or answer from the great vibe in the pie sky. Mos times it comes after a few days but if I do not have a few days to process/assess I have to continue my dyas with the darkness of stagnation on my mind. We wanna grow, be nurtured and to produce the best fruit available... all I see is exploitation and greedy fuc*s.
Confines are human concepts of abilities and controls (IMO). Disregarded (colloring outsside the lines) can be illuminating, freeing and sometimes brings correction and/or a beat down lol.
We need growth the sustain and keep sharp.
What other "things" pique your interests (hobbies?)?
I enjoy yard work and working on bike engines. Only if I don't have steel to erect... thats my love.
peace

Art...creativity..writing. ...making things with my hands...reading a good book.. I have always thought I should have been an actor so for fun I might like to take some acting classes ! exercise used to be a huge one for me but have a gazillion injuries and chronic pain which has curbed my ability to train hard and affects my mood sadly ..

 

[Mistressofitness]

Thanks! I will check out the sober living area..I can't figure out how- can you post a link or directions how to find it? Glad u like avatar- it represents the powerful little warrior inside me ..I made a collage about it and she reminds me who I really am It made me happy that you like her!! I used her as my avatar as I want to get back to being her in this next phase of my development...I have lost touch with her....