finitelifeform
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2020
- Messages
- 343
Hey all, hope you are all well.
Today I tried DMT for the first time.
I didnt know what to expect. I just know that I trivialized DMT for some reason. Maybe because when vapourized its a short trip and short trips are not cool. Or whether it doesnt get the same hype other psychedelics do (probably for similiar reasons). I just didnt respect the material all that much.
Well, today that changed.
The first experience was a "get your toes wet" kinda deal. I had got an oil burner a few days before but didnt venture out all the way to get a jet lighter. I had read normal lighters arent that great for vaping DMT but I thought that was baloney. I had smoked enough weed over the years, especially soap bar resin back in my youth that you would have to obliterate under a lighter just to get it pliable, and I knew you could pretty much vape anything if you put a flame to it long enough. I had been a budding pyro as a tormented youth torching sh*t. You cant tell me it wont burn. Well, I was wrong. DMT is HARD to vape with a normal lighter.
I got there though eventually. I had positioned myself along a lovely ridge in a national park overlooking hills in all directions. It was really hot and the crickets were going ape sh*t in the background. Amazing day. Not that windy but windy enough to get the flame flickering like it was trying to dodge the bulb. Finally got it to settle by throwing my hoodie over me and making a makeshift shelter.
First experience = 20-30mg
~3pm
First okayish hit of DMT - done. Wow.
It was like all the psychedelics I have done previously over the years only exploding into consciousness in less than a minute. This is the bit that destroyed my presumptions immediately. I thought this would be a soft watered down experience, like a soft high that pretends to emulate the real deal. How could it be possible you go from 0-60 in less than 60 seconds? Then to find yourself in the peak of all peak experiences as if you had skipped the queue and got right to the front of the line. It blew my mind! Wow! I didnt know what to think. Part of me wanted to control the experience. It was foreign, almost like an infiltration; my mind and body exposed just like that. It was so quick it took me off guard and I guess I must have felt vulnerable. From being sober to being at the peak of a psychedelic experience without any time for adjustments, visualisation, context, preperation. I wanted to fight it for a brief moment or two, but I didnt. Everything was fine. I was safe, I was happy, at peace, in nature. The grass around me turned a blueish colour, but that was probably from the rays of the sun. Colours had more depth and the picture in front of me felt more alive. It wasnt just there, it was breathing and I was part of it. I tried to go for my second hit but I think I f*cked up that opportunity. I promised myself I would finish the material by using a jet lighter. Holy sh*t what a difference that made.
I took from this experience to stop being so judgemental. I had a profound realization that judgement often leads to negativity. I also got a visit from a tiny little bird before I got my sh*t together and started walking back that upon me whistling to it started hopping around the trees seeming to get excited about my talking to it. This made me smile.
Second experience = 20/30mg
~1am next morning
So I got a jet lighter. Still wasnt sure what the fuss was about. My first experience was great but I had a sinking suspicion I may have only inhaled half of what I assumed was around 20-30mg in the bulb, due to the flame situation.
Now to try with a jet lighter.
Yup, that works. Holy sh*t.
My first hit blew me back onto the freshly prepared mound on my bed consisting of bedding and pillows prepared to act like a makeshift lounger for any necessary descent. I have to say on this one I was paranoid as hell, or at least I was after the hit. I live in a toxic low rate house share. The people I live with are all lonely deprived grown men who emit this energy of anger and bitterness. Weve fought quite a bit. Theres a lot of territorial chimp like behaviour. I dont blame them. They dont have anything else to fight for. I dont want to fight and upon moving in they took my friendliness and diversion of their games as a sign of weakness. I wanted to try DMT where it wasnt windy so I thought about getting high in my room. I started up the jet lighter and instantly the material turned into a liquid. I knew from watching videos this is when I start inhaling and boom... it hit me like a train. I can remember thinking instantly about the people I share this house with. I felt so vulnerable and almost childlike for the best part of 5 or so minutes. I was also naked as well so that might had made a difference, and there is no lock on the door. I thought "What if they know I have taken psychedelics and want to f*ck with me?" and "What if they come in?". The guy who lives next door to me on the floor my room is on is a sociopath. Hes tricky to deal with at the best times and all about making everything about a mental game. He is the best and he knows everything and you are below him and owe him for the privelege of being in his company. I thought maybe he knew what I was doing and I felt so powerless. Fortunately for the past few years I have been working on myself and really come home to myself. I have committed to learning about psychotherapy and personal development and have taken several courses in these areas. I cant explain how much this helped. I started seeing much of my outwardly projections of negativity as representing my own inner world. I empathized with the guy next door who was now in my head and I felt compassion for him. I kinda related to him being like he was despite knowing this made him a toxic person to be around. I felt peace immediately. I stopped trying to fight and control the experience. I just let myself go and started offering out love and compassion to myself and the world. "May I be well. May others be well". All the progress throughout the last year opening my heart, learning to love, opening myself to vulnerability, working on my trauma, ego etc it all came into play. There I was a naked man lying on a mattress in a small box room in a toxic house share with strangers with no lock on the door. There is nothing that can be done to me that already hasnt been done to them and for this, healing is needed. Only healing will set them free and make them whole again. I can face oblivion if it comes. I dont need to run. I know what is within me is good.
It was quite profound. Some might call it a bad trip but I call it a learning experience. It taught me to love myself more and to love others more. It did teach me not to take psychedelics in a bad setting. I knew this already but guess I needed a wake up call. The last time I tripped near this hard was 6 years ago. Sometimes all this toxicity we have that we project onto others is really what is within. What we experience in a trip like this is something connected to those projections and that, somewhere down the road, means something to you and it ties in with memories, experiences, behaviours, thoughts, beliefs etc. You are responsible for those and sometimes to be responsible you need to let go and actually allow yourself to access what is lurking in the depths. Also, you just need to be yourself and accept yourself.
DMT is a REAL psychedelic not to be taken lightly and demands respect. It catapults you into an instant peak psychedelic experience and there you are, right in the center of it all after being sober not even 60 seconds ago.
The afterglow is amazing. I feel at peace for the best part of a few hours, more connected and I do feel like my brain underwent a reset of sorts. It is a blissful state after the trip with lots of room for introspection and also meditative states.
That smoke though.
My body wanted to reject it.
I also could smell DMT everywhere for a good hour or so after my first experience.
It also seems to stick with you for a while afterwards in both taste and also I can feel it in my lungs.
DMT!
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
Today I tried DMT for the first time.
I didnt know what to expect. I just know that I trivialized DMT for some reason. Maybe because when vapourized its a short trip and short trips are not cool. Or whether it doesnt get the same hype other psychedelics do (probably for similiar reasons). I just didnt respect the material all that much.
Well, today that changed.
The first experience was a "get your toes wet" kinda deal. I had got an oil burner a few days before but didnt venture out all the way to get a jet lighter. I had read normal lighters arent that great for vaping DMT but I thought that was baloney. I had smoked enough weed over the years, especially soap bar resin back in my youth that you would have to obliterate under a lighter just to get it pliable, and I knew you could pretty much vape anything if you put a flame to it long enough. I had been a budding pyro as a tormented youth torching sh*t. You cant tell me it wont burn. Well, I was wrong. DMT is HARD to vape with a normal lighter.
I got there though eventually. I had positioned myself along a lovely ridge in a national park overlooking hills in all directions. It was really hot and the crickets were going ape sh*t in the background. Amazing day. Not that windy but windy enough to get the flame flickering like it was trying to dodge the bulb. Finally got it to settle by throwing my hoodie over me and making a makeshift shelter.
First experience = 20-30mg
~3pm
First okayish hit of DMT - done. Wow.
It was like all the psychedelics I have done previously over the years only exploding into consciousness in less than a minute. This is the bit that destroyed my presumptions immediately. I thought this would be a soft watered down experience, like a soft high that pretends to emulate the real deal. How could it be possible you go from 0-60 in less than 60 seconds? Then to find yourself in the peak of all peak experiences as if you had skipped the queue and got right to the front of the line. It blew my mind! Wow! I didnt know what to think. Part of me wanted to control the experience. It was foreign, almost like an infiltration; my mind and body exposed just like that. It was so quick it took me off guard and I guess I must have felt vulnerable. From being sober to being at the peak of a psychedelic experience without any time for adjustments, visualisation, context, preperation. I wanted to fight it for a brief moment or two, but I didnt. Everything was fine. I was safe, I was happy, at peace, in nature. The grass around me turned a blueish colour, but that was probably from the rays of the sun. Colours had more depth and the picture in front of me felt more alive. It wasnt just there, it was breathing and I was part of it. I tried to go for my second hit but I think I f*cked up that opportunity. I promised myself I would finish the material by using a jet lighter. Holy sh*t what a difference that made.
I took from this experience to stop being so judgemental. I had a profound realization that judgement often leads to negativity. I also got a visit from a tiny little bird before I got my sh*t together and started walking back that upon me whistling to it started hopping around the trees seeming to get excited about my talking to it. This made me smile.
Second experience = 20/30mg
~1am next morning
So I got a jet lighter. Still wasnt sure what the fuss was about. My first experience was great but I had a sinking suspicion I may have only inhaled half of what I assumed was around 20-30mg in the bulb, due to the flame situation.
Now to try with a jet lighter.
Yup, that works. Holy sh*t.
My first hit blew me back onto the freshly prepared mound on my bed consisting of bedding and pillows prepared to act like a makeshift lounger for any necessary descent. I have to say on this one I was paranoid as hell, or at least I was after the hit. I live in a toxic low rate house share. The people I live with are all lonely deprived grown men who emit this energy of anger and bitterness. Weve fought quite a bit. Theres a lot of territorial chimp like behaviour. I dont blame them. They dont have anything else to fight for. I dont want to fight and upon moving in they took my friendliness and diversion of their games as a sign of weakness. I wanted to try DMT where it wasnt windy so I thought about getting high in my room. I started up the jet lighter and instantly the material turned into a liquid. I knew from watching videos this is when I start inhaling and boom... it hit me like a train. I can remember thinking instantly about the people I share this house with. I felt so vulnerable and almost childlike for the best part of 5 or so minutes. I was also naked as well so that might had made a difference, and there is no lock on the door. I thought "What if they know I have taken psychedelics and want to f*ck with me?" and "What if they come in?". The guy who lives next door to me on the floor my room is on is a sociopath. Hes tricky to deal with at the best times and all about making everything about a mental game. He is the best and he knows everything and you are below him and owe him for the privelege of being in his company. I thought maybe he knew what I was doing and I felt so powerless. Fortunately for the past few years I have been working on myself and really come home to myself. I have committed to learning about psychotherapy and personal development and have taken several courses in these areas. I cant explain how much this helped. I started seeing much of my outwardly projections of negativity as representing my own inner world. I empathized with the guy next door who was now in my head and I felt compassion for him. I kinda related to him being like he was despite knowing this made him a toxic person to be around. I felt peace immediately. I stopped trying to fight and control the experience. I just let myself go and started offering out love and compassion to myself and the world. "May I be well. May others be well". All the progress throughout the last year opening my heart, learning to love, opening myself to vulnerability, working on my trauma, ego etc it all came into play. There I was a naked man lying on a mattress in a small box room in a toxic house share with strangers with no lock on the door. There is nothing that can be done to me that already hasnt been done to them and for this, healing is needed. Only healing will set them free and make them whole again. I can face oblivion if it comes. I dont need to run. I know what is within me is good.
It was quite profound. Some might call it a bad trip but I call it a learning experience. It taught me to love myself more and to love others more. It did teach me not to take psychedelics in a bad setting. I knew this already but guess I needed a wake up call. The last time I tripped near this hard was 6 years ago. Sometimes all this toxicity we have that we project onto others is really what is within. What we experience in a trip like this is something connected to those projections and that, somewhere down the road, means something to you and it ties in with memories, experiences, behaviours, thoughts, beliefs etc. You are responsible for those and sometimes to be responsible you need to let go and actually allow yourself to access what is lurking in the depths. Also, you just need to be yourself and accept yourself.
DMT is a REAL psychedelic not to be taken lightly and demands respect. It catapults you into an instant peak psychedelic experience and there you are, right in the center of it all after being sober not even 60 seconds ago.
The afterglow is amazing. I feel at peace for the best part of a few hours, more connected and I do feel like my brain underwent a reset of sorts. It is a blissful state after the trip with lots of room for introspection and also meditative states.
That smoke though.
My body wanted to reject it.
I also could smell DMT everywhere for a good hour or so after my first experience.
It also seems to stick with you for a while afterwards in both taste and also I can feel it in my lungs.
DMT!
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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