first date advice

Shady's Fox

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First impression matters a lot, you are the moderator of this sub-forum what's up with this question?.. I finished the art school for e.g and I can be the moderator of LAVA but you don't know how to behave on your first date?

Wait, what?

I didn't want to answer but I will because I have a certain common sense, be confident & don't look into your phone. Being shy will not help you, try and admit to your partner that this is your first time.
 

pofacedhoe

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First impression matters a lot, you are the moderator of this sub-forum what's up with this question?.. I finished the art school for e.g and I can be the moderator of LAVA but you don't know how to behave on your first date?

Wait, what?

I didn't want to answer but I will because I have a certain common sense, be confident & don't look into your phone. Being shy will not help you, try and admit to your partner that this is your first time.
its not my first date ever ffs

i just want other peoples opinions on what worked for them

in truth they either gonna like me or not, i have no lack of confidence i was just curious

if you didn't want to answer why did you? honestly whats that all about lol
 

CoastTwoCoast

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Umm, if you have any mental illness or weird personality traits, don't bring it up on the first date. Let the person like you first before dropping any major bombs.

Oh and don't talk about Trump. No politics.
 

fairnymph

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Be yourself, but the best possible version. Polished but no lying by omission/false advertising. Talk about topics that matter, not small talk. Don't get substantially inebriated. Try not to monopolise the conversation, or fail to contribute significantly. Show interest & enthusiasm - but only if you truly feel them. Assess compatibility. Listen to your intuition. If you have any major problems that aren't likely to soon be solved, consider being upfront about them. Be honest.

I'm not much for typical dating, but these work for me. I do talk about politics, bc it's important to me that i date someone with similar views.
 

CoastTwoCoast

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Eventually the political views come out, but I don't think it's a good idea to dive right into it. Though, it is important to know whether you're about to go down on a Trump lover. *cringes*
 

atara

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I tend to lean more towards the "better to talk about values in the beginning" mindset. That stuff might be uncomfortable, but it doesn't go away, so if they're going to hate your politics/religion it might be for the better to expose that early and move on. Same goes for sexual compatibility: imho people who wait until they've been married for five years to reveal they like getting peed on or whatever are just setting themselves up for lots of disappointment.
Discussing that kind of thing also seems to (though I've only done this twice) increase the necessary tension that makes the relationship feel sexual and not just friendly. You're trying to get close to the other person, not start a business together. It's important not to pry or bring up intimate things out of nowhere -- respect the ordinary flow of conversation -- but if the situation calls for it, say it.
 

fairnymph

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Political opposites can have great sex. And even successful relationships. I know one married couple who are both elected councillors for different parties in the same area :-D
Absolutely. But for me personally, such a relationship wouldn't work. I know some make it work but tbh it blows my mind that they can.
 

fairnymph

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I tend to lean more towards the "better to talk about values in the beginning" mindset. That stuff might be uncomfortable, but it doesn't go away, so if they're going to hate your politics/religion it might be for the better to expose that early and move on. Same goes for sexual compatibility: imho people who wait until they've been married for five years to reveal they like getting peed on or whatever are just setting themselves up for lots of disappointment.
Discussing that kind of thing also seems to (though I've only done this twice) increase the necessary tension that makes the relationship feel sexual and not just friendly. You're trying to get close to the other person, not start a business together. It's important not to pry or bring up intimate things out of nowhere -- respect the ordinary flow of conversation -- but if the situation calls for it, say it.
Yes yes yes. Agree completely. And please people, avoid a 2 Doms or 2 subs situation in the bedroom. It's really not good. Not necessarily worth ditching someone over, but everything else better be DAMN good.

I talk a lot about sex with potential partners. Not only is it fun, it really helps once you do become intimate. I tend to be extremely detailed, & as a result, I am usually very satisfied with the sex, even from the 1st time, & usually he is too. Talking about STDs & birth control is less fun, but just as important, & it means you can be properly prepared for sexytimes - ideally disease & condom free, IMO.
 

madness00

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Look into their eyes enough to seem engaged and connected/empathetic, but not so much as to seem psycho.
Right, right..

I find a subtle lift of the eye brows, or bringing them ever so slightly together to show concern/interest does the trick.

But on topic i think the best way to go about first dates is to completely wing it. But if we must analyze it, try asking more questions than answering. Try listening more than talking. Try relating to them without undermining their own feelings. Try being fun and playful but also serious and focused. Try to find that piece of silence, embrace it, and don't feel awkward or forced to talk. Just, hold their hand, or give them a smile. That last one people rarely can do. I'm telling you to try it, because these are all things I do naturally and seem to work just fine.
 

White_Rose

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LOL, just be yourself!

Everything else is just a waste of your time and theirs, LOL.
 
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