Thanks for your posting,
@DeathIndustrial88 .
Yeah what should I say, I knew it before yet didn't want to believe or was just too desperate. What comes a bit surprising is the whole low energy thing and that while I am of somewhat thin stature, have put on more fat on opioids than I ever had, specially on the belly, and without eating more. Never seen this with others, the majority of H addicts and maintenance people is slim at least these I've seen. Mirtazapine for example made me crazily hungry for carbohydrates and sugar but the morphine doesn't. It's just slowed metabolism and less anabolic activity.. I already avoid beverages with sugar, things like chips, mostly fast food etc.pp. appears like I would put fat even if I'd eat just fruits.. Probably I am too lazy and need to change habits yet there is a clear worsening, in other times I was similarly lazy and did frequent high dose dissos but my body shape remained the same. Nothing special but not bad either given the circumstances of life and lifestyle. Need to check whether opiates also suppress thyroxine as this could be a reason too.
For me the loss of libido is indeed almost welcome to me, is primarily mental leaving the body functional but that might be time dependent (in people who take testosteron antagonists the ability for erection doesn't go in one day and needs a similar amount of time to recover after quitting the antag.) Here I am not sure as they say loss of libido not sexual dysfunction but sometimes they mess the descriptions up especially for such topics. Might be though that SSRIs are worse, they can make you horny but physically unable.
Some years ago one of my source shops sold too steroid RCs, SARMs and the like. Did some theoretical research and seems like anabolics only help you to build
more muscles from the same training but not(?) or less(?) so to require less training - there are exceptions though, at least one. A compound developed against muscle wasting in cardiac insufficience, people who can't work out anymore so an 'exercise in a bottle' (sic) would come handy and in mice, this works.
There were cancer warnings from the WADA and based on a paper. A bit inconclusive as said paper was about a trial of the chem on rats which showed am increased risk for some tumors. That's scary of course but then I read that these rats had been of a special research breed which is very prone to cancer. This is probably for easy screening as a carcinogen doesn't equal to developing cancer (see smokers) and it'd require a huge amount of animals to get qualitative results. So somewhat inconclusive, some said the reason for discontinuation was indeed abuse but don't remember more details and certainly at this time not worth the risk.
The concept is intriguing though. Why do we need to work out to send triggers for building up muscle mass?
The only physical enhancement I have tried is ITPP (myo-inositol trispyrophosphate) which seems to be pretty safe - good question why it isn't being marketed then? Increases the capacity of platelets to carry more oxygen and while I have no measures, it was pretty impressive and imo certainly above of what placebo is able to do. Took it out of curiosity before going to move furniture from one apartment to another and remember that at some point I got scared cause I felt my heart beating but like I didn't really breathe at all - of course I did but usually I would have had to breathe much faster and deeper.
Yeah I agree, little researched physical agents scare me much more than psychoactives. I know too less about them, and it feels more dangerous as in cancer for example. Different from psychoactives of which most directly influence feelings, probably I wouldn't feel much at all and the consequences might not be obvious for long time.
I know that many think similar about RCs and maybe it is but the RCs usually are designed to selectively influence circuits in the brain which are known and won't cause cancer or your body to blow up..
But I am indeed, out of a necesssity, interested about either testosteron - know that it's said to be hepatotoxic but how can an endogenous compound in moderation be toxic? - or a SARM like eg.
Ostarine. They should avoid some of the problems about steroids like further downregulation but are still experimental.
Of course if it should work, triptorelin'd be the better choice as the exposure to it remains very limited. I am sure to have read that some former steroid user with hypogonadism got a shot of it from a doctor but no link to it.
Will first try DHEA maybe but don't have too much hope when even the ad tells about a just 20% increase.
I understand it, but really I don't like that many of the substitution programs are abstainance oriented and tell they are only for limited amount if time, that you need to have two failed so-called detoxifications, force people to come by daily and/or will kick you if you test positive for sth else.. And that they think they know what is best for you in general, like limiting substitution to methadone, bupe and in some places morphine.
Guess I have little choice than to stay on opioids for long time if not for life.. It's just the only fix for my life long emotional problems but the hormone suppression and lack of energy have grown into serious issues. Really often enough all I care about is that people let me be (what they don't, at least the bad guys like police, attorneys of state, creditors, etc), to distract myself with PC/movies/music, sleep, eat and smoke. To take dissociatives if I have access to some, they are a quick fix for the issues and heavily increase energy, sociability, happyness but only temporarily.. It's not real craving as I have when sober but the desire to feel more, do more, to be awake and active. I am somewhat unsure about them, it feels like I could go with just dissos as I did before the opioids but it isn't sustainable, there is physical toxicity, it's expensive and worst of all, gray area and will soon enough become illegal. I am already on probation and certainly have no desire to experience jail time.
DXM is a good aid for reducing or quitting opioids, memantine is too but as long as you tolerate it, DXM is the better choice as it's a more strong NMDA antagonist. These receptors are directly connected to and modulate mu opioid ones as well as the blockade deals with the overexcitation following opioid w/d. I almost skipped over wd twice now and think it's really sad that this isn't used or even known more in clinical practice. There are many papers about, all with good results but even the pain folks are left out alone.
Yeah, Switzerland and the medical diamorphine. The program is pretty strict, they don't let you take pills with you so need to go there three times a day! Technically though I believe it's prescribable but hell I don't found a doc willing to off label prescribe regular, non-abusable medicine with good statistical evidence like riluzol. Almost every country has morphine, oxy, codein, tapentadol but need to use expensive maintenance "therapy" (CH: 300$/€/Fr per week, that is just hi how are you? Fine, thanks, you - let's give the medicine - bye)
They recently approved a K nasal spray for depression but it is only given in a clinical setting with ECG and all (sigh. K's the only anesthetic which is a stimulant instead of a downer, that's why they use it but apparently the approval people didnt do their homework) but 84mg 2x a week doesnt sound too bad.
Hey, the same here
I spend usually too much time alone as it's very hard to find compatible people in real life when you need to hide so much and behave like what 3rd parties think is correct.. Sometimes I value to be alone, specially sober I just can't relax when among people and the wrong ones make it worse but too I enjoy good conversations and miss them, that, distraction and the infos is mostly why I'm online.. ⚗
I am really unsure whether I should try bupe again, maybe it helps more with depression or is less heavy about hormones but what I remember isn't too promising as it didnt help me mentally just even half as much. Would really like to give oxy a try. Or kratom (was made illegal here some years ago
) which can be stimulating.
I need the opioid agonism for now but I don't like where it is leading my body to as well as about the depression.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
