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Feeling shame, opiate addict

A real man. I'm so proud of you.
Top class effort. AA type meetings can be made up of a dubious bunch to be sure. Use meetings and anything else you can get hold of to stay sober.
I didn't read everything here...but if there is one thing we can all learn from these forums, it's stay away from Benzos...as in out of the frying pan and into the fire.
There are numerous fools around here who will promote this junk like it's nothing...normal and acceptable. It really isn't.
If you stay sober, the day will arrive when you suddenly become aware that you have not thought about drugs for several days - it's really amazing...LIBERATION.
Most addicts spend the rest of their lives blabbering around with various alternative drugs and every kind of foolishness. Do not be one of these people.
Avoid them like you would the plague - especially around here.
On average it takes about 2 years to overcome serious loss. Divorce, death of a loved one, losing an arm...a leg...or drug addiction.
It's worth it. Do NOT be fooled by Bluelighter junkies who love spreading their benzo addictions around like a virus. I see them doing it here, on your thread.
You don't need that shit. In 2 years you'll not need anything related to any of this crap. Meetings, forums...prescriptions...omg what a toilet.
Those people at the OA meetings...who attend for years on end...benzo freaks. It's just gross.
Cut yourself free from all that crap. You can do this.
Next time your doctor tries to peddle his benzo junk - Tell him to fuck off.
 
Looking back, if you could talk to yourself in the first week of withdrawal, is there anything you would tell yourself?
 
Yes!! 1) this is only temporary and 2) was the years of addiction worth the physical and mental pain it caused not only to me but every who loves me.
 
Btw 65 days clean, got my 60 day tag (green) at NA last night. Still conflicted though with the group but i go every time, no excuses, i get in my truck an just GO,
 
Work is going well, mornings are still a bit rough, but def things getting better, i can honestly say im not recovered as in i KNOW if there were pills around i dont think i could resist the temptation, i still have urges at times but ive eliminated all potential access by telling everyone i got them from. But i do find it difficult still to see ANY pill bottle and the sound of the pills rattling make me anxious
 
I still get that feeling too when I hear pill bottles. I'm not sure if it will ever go away completely, but it does get less intense as time goes on. One thing that is nice is that as time goes on, it feels more and more like I am making the right decision by saying no/staying sober, compared to right at first when it constantly felt like I was missing out and letting good opportunities(to get high) pass me by.
 
Hello, im sorry ive dropped off here, but life is good. I had my 1 year clean anniversary feb 16th!! Feel long way to go because i still randomly think about pills but not near as often but the craveing is still there but its weak but again still there. I look back on this thread and read about a very broken man who found many people willing to help me through those dark times . A special shout out to Ash!!! Girl you helped the most!! Im still attending NA and im very open with my past (current) issue but i use it to help people . So thankful for you guys. GOD bless you all !!!
 
*Interject*

Gunslinger354 said:
Ash thank you, how long do you think till i feel some sort of normalcy ? Right now my biggest issue is the tears , i cant keep from crying when i talk with my daughter and wife ,
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You will be able to self regulate but tears, they are normal.
Go easy on yourself. <3
Maybe someone else can give temporal/timeline advice.
 
Gunslinger354 said:
Hello, im sorry ive dropped off here, but life is good. I had my 1 year clean anniversary feb 16th!! Feel long way to go because i still randomly think about pills but not near as often but the craveing is still there but its weak but again still there. I look back on this thread and read about a very broken man who found many people willing to help me through those dark times . A special shout out to Ash!!! Girl you helped the most!! Im still attending NA and im very open with my past (current) issue but i use it to help people . So thankful for you guys. GOD bless you all !!!
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Hello my dear friend George!!!!


SOOOOOO proud of you and I hope you are so very proud of yourself. 1 year is HUGE!!!!!!!


Thank you for the update, I was honestly just thinking of you and your family and hoped you were doing well with your bad ass self. ; )

<3
I have had a lot going on lately but I still stop by to check on my friends.

Much love and support to you George. Keep in touch more and I will do the same.

Hugs and here for you always,
your friend forever,
Ash.
 
EPL1 said:
Hello my dear friend George!!!!


SOOOOOO proud of you and I hope you are so very proud of yourself. 1 year is HUGE!!!!!!!


Thank you for the update, I was honestly just thinking of you and your family and hoped you were doing well with your bad ass self. ; )

<3
I have had a lot going on lately but I still stop by to check on my friends.

Much love and support to you George. Keep in touch more and I will do the same.

Hugs and here for you always,
your friend forever,
Ash.
Click to expand...
Thanks ash!!!! Your support and kind words helped alot!!!!! I hope this finds you well and prayers are always with you
 
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