Fallen psychonaught


Aug 18, 2017
I'm honestly not even sure where to start but this is a story about a truly incredible person and psychonought with whom I've explored the infinite and experienced the impossible. He passed away from an overdose of U-47700 July 26th this year and I guess this story is my
Everlasting thank you to him and a hope to spread his ideals and beliefs on a site we both loved.
My cat Toaster met josh in October 2011 while in its final year of middle school. At the time EDM and light shows with gloves were super popular. Toaster had been dabbling with dealing weed for a few months and noticed a tall skinny kid with long hair and a bunch of colorful bead jewelry that seemed cool We started talking and hit it off pretty well. Toaster and josh hung out a few times but Things didn't go much further than a casual customer/dealer relationship until Toaster got back from rehab in 2014. It was Toasters first day back in high school and lone behold josh walked up looking trippy as ever and straight asks if Toaster would like to partner up on a DMT extraction project. Of course like any good tripper Toaster accepted. It was after this josh and Toaster became as close as brothers. Later that day after school Toaster partook in the spirit molecule for the first of many times. On exhale just before full blastoff it appeared as though Toasters arms and legs popped off his body and were floating around in front of him! He looked at josh and said, "hey bro my pieces are floating away". Josh chill as ever just looks up and responds, "that's ok man they'll be back!". Needless to say dmt changed Toasters life and together josh and Toaster made it a mission to try and spread as much happiness and enlightenment through psychedelic's as possible. For months Toaster and josh offered dose to everyone they knew and everyone they met. After a while a close knit group of best friends formed and everything was as it should be. We were all as close as brothers and pretty much lived together at the trap house.We had more fun than anyone should be allowed to have while growing up. For years josh and Toaster mainly focused on spreading psychedelics from the deepweb to our friends and the unenlightened folks of the surrounding cities! They made it a mission to always have LSD,DMT,Shrooms,MDMA and certain dissociates and RC's cheap and readily available. As well as providing safe environment for anyone to trip. We held DMT spirit groups to spread the word of Terrance McKenna and gave away free tabs at drum circles. In all honesty life was completely sublime we were young and exploring our inner minds, life was our playground. It was pretty much perfect. This time was Hands down the best of Toasters young life.
Though as the Years passed certain ideals were forgotten and the beauty we had been spreading was corrupted. The beginning of the end started with various research chems including MXE,3-MeO-PCP and etizolam Toaster and josh had been buying large quantity of. It became less and less about spread love as addiction crept in to play. All was fine for a few months until josh started ordering grams of pure alprazolam(Xanax). For those of you who don't know a gram of pure powder alprazolam is equivalent to 500 2mg xanax bars! Well needless to say both josh and Toaster became hopelessly addicted to the point of taking 20 to 50 pills worth of xanax a day. We were both also messing around with a lot of coke and Toaster was on heroin at the time. Toaster noticed it was getting bad when he went to hand josh the weeks profit and a bag of etizolam that had come to Toasters adress. Toaster gave him the cash and bag then set up a time to meet him later that night to snag some sheets. The next day Toaster found out josh ate the entire etizolam bag over 300mg or 150 doses worth then crashed his car and lost almost 400 hits of Toasters acid!! It just kept getting worse and eventually ended in us losing some opportunities and becoming homeless.Soon after Toaster ended up in the hospital 3 times in a week each time for something related to a xanax a 3-meo-pcp cocktail that he'd been experimenting with at the time.

It came to a point when Toaster needed to change something and got himself sober off opiates and benzos by moving half way across the country. Toaster is currently a year sober off hard drugs though still does psychedelics frequently. Josh was sober as well until earlier this year when he began buying xanax again then a synthetic opiate named U-47700 found its way into josh's hands and ended the life of the most beautiful, intelligent and enlightened friend I've ever known. He simply took to large a line and choked on his own vomit. Just like that one simple action and the world lost a modern day Timothy Leary. The way it turned out the lifestyle we chose to live ended his life. We put drugs before everything else and embraced the culture completely. Unfortunately we both knew the risk and took them anyway.
Do I regret anything I've done? The answer is absolutely not. The experiences I've shared with true friends and the memories I've made are what inspires me on a daily basis. I guess what I want to say if you are going to immerse yourself within drug culture remember you or someone close to you might not make it out alive. I know your probably young and think your invincible like it do but unfortunately that's not true. Toaster would never tell anyone not to experiment with drugs they can do incredibly positive things. Though he asks if you decide to use anything serious please invest in a milligram scale and pay attention to your dosing just doing that has saved Toasters life multiple times! NOW GO Get out there live life and spread the joy of psychedelics to those in need!!! Keep on trucking!!!
Sincerely Acidlicks4kicks20
“Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong-- Terence McKenna


Oct 25, 2016
Sorry for your loss. Too many good people taken away from us by the disease of addiction. Keep telling his story I'm sure that's what he wants.


Jul 26, 2009
I am extremely sorry for your loss. I think it's important to note the progression of the story, because it's one I see in myself and a lot of other people. It seems to me intense psychedelic abuse really leaves the mind vulnerable to the whiles of downer addiction. So many people go psych abuse -> benzo abuse -> opiate/coke/everything abuse. It's like you trip so much, you're worn out, you start using benzos to sleep theeeeen you figure out if you mix poppies in with the psyches you don't have to deal as much with the psychological side, and it's all over. Very sad. ;(


"City Watcher" & Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Feb 8, 2006
Shadowmeister v0
Too, too true. We've lost many to downers, especially opiates. I had 10 years addicted to opiates myself. These days I still have to watch myself with alcohol and others, it's so temping to sink into an easy temporary fix for when we feel like it's a little too much... but as anyone who has experienced addiction knows, that sense of ease is an illusion that quickly and brutally disappears.

This was a heartbreaking post, sorry for your loss. <3