So this was Thursday. Afterwards I got on my bicycle and left, heading for my favourite Greek restaurant for a phatass meat dish and then to a fuckbuddy for some fleshen goodness. When I left the Greek place I could still barely talk and ended up hitting a traffic light on my over to the lady. It was standing still. Since my jacket is water proof, I only noticed the square inch large hole in my elbow when it was bleeding on my friend's couch. She washed my clothes and patched me up. Adorable. Sex was not an option, but we had a long talk. Next morning I still wasn't sober. After we went to her workplace I headed home and dosed again, roughly 24h after the last dose, 300mg IV this time, not missing a single drop this time. I topped that off with another 300mg IV and 2 hours later 300-400mg dosed orally.First dose 10mg oral. Dropped my daughter off at the Kindergarten. Bought 23G needles and went straight home. 1 part propylene glycol with 2 parts tap water seeems to do the trick.
I inject 150mg into a vein on my forearm. Good rush, but not enough drug for a proper journey as it turns out. Effects somewhere between ketamine and phencyclidine, very promising. Injected another 150mg into that phatass vein in my antecubital fossa - or so I thought. I missed. The entire volume was injected subcutanously. The first 150mg sure did a good and proper job to cover that up. Didn't see or feel a thing lol. :/
This shit was significantly more psychedelic than s-ketamine, but still it felt very comforting. Spatial distortions were very pronounced reminding me of diphenidine and it's 2-methoxylated counterpart.
Later I used another 250mg in a single shot, again missing the entire shot thinking it would go up my veins... lol! So far it seems our connective tissue is cool with ephenidine.
Well, well, I have only used this substance once, but I have a strong feeling that ketamine just might have found it's master. I am sure all the RC Lipinskis are working their asses off as we speak to bring us a related compound that's water soluble.
FUCK YES! THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!
WHOOOOO this causes some mania it seems. Mind you I am bipolar. I am also going to dance and possibly rule the world. Some serious PCP action going on here. Every song is my favourite song. Whichever lady I end up sleeping with tonight I will probably marry.
So... Seems there is no ketamine successor just yet. This will never ever let me go to sleep. Sheeeeeeeeeit. I feel good. I'm gonna dance. Hygiene. Food. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Dancing. Maybe some sleep. Probably not.
Well anyway, ephinidine is obviously a kickass dissociative. Trust in the connoisseur!
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA...
O M F G I have not been this manic in a long time. FUCK!
Qualitatively, this is somewhere between ketamine, pcp and diphenidine. However it surpasses all of them with ease.
nothing can ever replace what you were to me in these past 10 years. You were always there when I needed you through the good and the bad, you've always been a pillar of strength I could hold onto when the fountain of hope threatened to run dry. You've always reminded me of who I was and what I could become. You showed me the power of my mind, you showed me what oneness means and that the day when we seize to exist is but a portal to what has always been.
But in these past months I had to realize that our love has it's limits. That my mind is even more vast than you could ever hope to understand.
Albert Einstein once said:
"I know only two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. I am not sure about the universe."
Little did he know that our minds are just as infinite as the universe, that it's our brains which keep us trapped in a tiny fraction of the possible, our brains that cut consciousness off from it's connection to the world around us.
Just like DMT dissociatives can unleash the mind and serve as a testament to it's powers. But you oh dear ketamine have shown me all you are able to reveal. Not long ago I've met others who introduced me to a new world of imagination, namely diphenidine and it's 2-methoxylated cousin. They weren't exactly relationship material though and their power still lies far out of my reach. Too complex and alienating were the concepts they were trying to introduce me to. They don't know my limits and never showed any empathy for my mind's inability to reach it's full potential. Instead they dropped me off at the threshold to the unknown and left me falling into nothingness where they were supposed to stand by my side and help me integrate what I saw into my material self.
Ephenidine however showed me this new dimension, enveloped me in it's love and gently escorted me to outer space, to places I have always longed to see yet my eyes shut me out of.
This is how I feel about ephenidine. To try and explain what I saw in these past 50h is just not in my power. It plain evades my ability to translate these things into written words.
I've felt the pleasue and the pain of a million lives at the end of paths I had never explored. 12h after the last dose I could still see infinite beauty unfold before my inner eye, could still see three dimensional constructs form on the back of my eyelids. 12h after the last dose this substance still allowed me to become witness to the infinite world of imagination our minds are capable of creating. I went to places in which seconds extend into eternity and the future merges with the past into the now which is as real as all there ever was and ever will be.
Ketamine is addictive the same way Phencyclidine is. I have always tried to extend the experience both in quality and duration. Each time I tried I failed. When I dicovered 2-MeO-Diphenidine and had my first NDE on it a few months later I was able to close the book for a while, able to calm my desire and even keep dissociatives around me without using them. I have only to thank ledbetterp3 for his suggestion to try the hidden gem that Ephenidine is.
For those who feel the same way, for those who have exhausted the possiblities of ketamine ephenidine will be the most precious dissociative currently available to the masses. To others it will cause a blackout at best at the doses I mentioned. The size of these dosages are not a result of what most classically understand as tolerance, but a result of cognitive adaption to the dissociative experience. I have no dose dependent tolerance to dissociatives. 150mg s-ketamine will have me black out like most dissociative naive people would. Just like salvinorin a full-blown ephenidine experience is hard to remember as it is as ephemeral as a snow flake falling into the palm of our hand. We can learn to tune in, freeze our brains to the same extent lack of movement freezes the snowflake and thereby touch infinite beauty, get a taste of the unknown, a new outlook on death and what connects us all to the realms that await us far behind the curtains time.
I am sorry about the lack of content in this report, but there is no way I could ever explain the events of the past 50 hours, just like the word 'love' will always fail to descibe the complexity of what it stands, just like death while living in all of us is impossible to share as it is unique. It's an experience as comforting as ketamine is, it eradiates a warmness that is only for brief moments pierced by sadness, melancholy, alienation and confusion. Like life. Beauty is on the inside, we just have to shut our eyes to see it.
Everyone has to figure out his dosage for himself. As a rule of thumb you can take as much as you are capable of integrating the experience that follows. I suppose 150mg will be manageable for most people, but only at 300mg did I get a taste of the magic while 600mg have turned out to be my sweet spot.
EDIT: 24 hours later I am pretty much back to baseline. Some of the effects may have lingered due to delayed resorption of the 450mg extravasally administered substance. I kept experiencing waves whenever I massaged the tissue. It seems inflamed now and I expect thrombophlebitis to follow. Oral doses should really suffice to do the trick...
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