Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
- Feb 8, 2006
- Shadowmeister v0
1-4-2019 - DOiP, 2nd trial: 12mg at home halfway through work on a Friday
1:12pm (T+0:00) - Ingested 12mg in 2.4mL of vodka (5mg/mL). Taste was bitter, not too strong. When I use 1mg/mL solutions with DOXs, I can't taste anything but the alcohol. Mindset is curious and experimental, but this is also an impulsive spur-of-the-moment thing. I recently re-read my 5mg DOiP report and realized it had been years without a second trial, and it sparked my curiosity. I decided to up it to 12mg, because with the 5mg report it was quite mild though interesting, but I also added 3-MeO-PCP which likely potentiated it. Plus most reports of DOiP (the few that there are) are using more like 20mg. Still, I had a very real reaction at 5mg so I wanted to make a smaller leap. Plans include finishing work (over the next 4 hours or so), going to the gym after work (should be good to test physical enhancement/stimulation), and hanging out with my girlfriend, maybe finally doing a painting I've been meaning to do. And perhaps reading a great book I'm really into.
Earlier today I have had about 150mg of caffeine in 3 doses, which is standard for me.
1:17pm (T+0:05) - Just finished writing the last entry and I feel a surge of anticipation through my body, mostly my bowels, similar to the effect when a stimulant first makes itself known. I am fairly certain it's placebo though, rather than an alert.
2:02pm (T+0:50) - I just started to feel the definite alerts of a psychedelic amphetamine. I feel ever so slightly lightheaded and sparkly, and my stomach has a faint edge of sourness to it. It's a feeling I recognize from the first alerts of DOC except it feels less intense so far.
2:44pm (T+1:32) - I feel some pleasant stimulation warmth, and a good humor. It feels very much like other psychedelic amphetamines but probably the most like DOC or DOPr. It is very smooth and velvety in feel, no anxiety like I would feel coming up on DOC if I was sitting at my desk like I am now. It's a bit annoying to focus on work. I found some notes on my first three trials of pentylone from a year and a half ago that I never finished and published, so I just spent the last half hour doing that. I notice myself delving into memories quite easily and with a lot of interest. I would say that at this point I am lightly euphoric. I find myself tapping my leg more than usual, and also biting on my nails more than usual which lets me know there is some nervous energy, but not enough to translate to emotional nervousness. I just remembered that earlier when I got the bottle of DOiP solution out of my refrigerator, I found an unmarked bottle containing a few mLs of a thick liquid, which means it's either etizolam or GHB. I didn't taste it at the time but the tiniest taste will reveal instantly which it is (etizolam is in PG, which tastes sweet and is the only drug I've ever made a PG solution with, and GHB tastes intensely salty). It would be cool if I had a few mgs of etizolam left as I thought I was out. And if it's GHB, it might be really nice to have a single dose of it sometime, since I haven't had any in months and there isn't any more after.
I feel quite like communicating. I find myself hoping I get the same methylone-like rushes at the peak like I got with 5mg in my first trial. After work I'm gonna smoke some weed because last time that really brought out the full nature of it.
I also feel actively horny, which is unusual for the come-up of a psychedelic amphetamine. There is clearly no negative impact on the ability to maintain an erection. On DOC there is, though later in the trip that goes away. It feels as if performance would be enhanced right now. I'm starting to think about playing some piano. Unfortunately my sustain pedal is elsewhere. Maybe on the way to the gym later my girl will want to stop by the house it's at so I can pick it up.
3:42pm (T+2:30) - It feels stronger now. My mood is very good. It's quite a strong body buzz, quite comfortable all things considered, with some central stimulation but very little peripheral. I find myself tapping and even teeth grinding a bit. My thoughts are somewhat hypomanic, everything feels fast, and it feels good to think things through and ponder. My stomach feels ever so slightly sour still, which is common with DOXs. Nothing distracting or even unpleasant, it's just a bit of a feeling. Work performance is not strongly affected except that I have very little motivation to apply myself to it as I am finding it more interesting and enjoyable to do other things, mostly write posts on Bluelight. I am still considering playing music but haven't done it yet. I think I'll take a shower, I forgot that I didn't earlier and it would be quite pleasant. Like with my first trial, I am finding DOiP to have more of an empathogenic/entactogenic quality than any other DOX I have tried. Less psychedelic and more of an empathogen/entactogen. Very clear thoughts but not as introspective as, say, DOC, or even AMT.
4:42pm (T+3:30) - I think I'm fully in now. When I stand up, I can see my heartbeat in my vision. There is a suggestion of movement but no actual movement in my vision. I feel warm and with a coursing feeling in my body similar to DOC, somewhat electric, but smoother than DOC, and also less intense. I feel good, but a little less euphoric than before. This is definitely stronger than my 5mg dose. I'm finishing up work now. I'm finding it difficult to stay on task, I feel a bit scatterbrained. I can delve deeply into a thought process but I might hit a tangent and forget about where I was at, and it feels like there are a lot of thoughts all competing for my attention.
I also feel very in touch with emotion, both my own and the emotions of others. A lot of my thought processes (due to Bluelight posting) has been about issues relating to the needs of others and/or the collective as a whole. I feel that I am able to deeply consider these issues and arrive at insight pretty effortlessly, and moreover, it is what I want to be spending mental energy on.
5:25pm (T+4:13) - Evidently math skills are unaffected as I am still calculating the time stamps easily. But this is definitely a psychedelic substance. I'm getting some flashes of discomfort with socialization, or really, with wondering whether or not the way I am behaving is appropriate. I'm sure it is but it's that familiar inability to determine what "normal" is. I'm about to ask my girl if we can head out to the Y to work out. On the way I need to stop to buy cat food, and also stop by a friend's house to pick some music equipment of mine up, and when there I need to get someone off of our Y membership and fill out some paperwork. The thought of these tasks makes me feel a little nervous but I think putting myself out in the world is going to be a positive thing. I'm starting to feel like it's getting stale at my computer.
8:06pm (T+6:56) - I'm definitely on the plateau now, it is less strong than it was before I left the house. I just got back from my errands and working out. I noticed that as soon as I got moving outside and doing things I felt substantially less intense. The socializing during the errands was no problem, I was just thinking about it too much. This drug has some of the same intense energy that makes me want to be doing something during the first stages of it as DOC has. I felt less jangly than I do when I sit around my house on DOC, but I was definitely getting some of that same frazzled sort of state towards the end of work, from being cooped up. I didn't even realize that's what it was at the time, either.
The workout went very well, I did 30 minutes of cardio and some weights and I felt strong and had a lot of endurance, in fact I didn't even notice a lot of it go by, because I was watching the TVs in front of the machines. Mostly the news. Unfortunately a lot of the mental space of this trip has been spent on politics, so far, US politics in specific. What a circus. It truly concerns me where we've managed to get ourselves to. Where do we go from here? It's easy to blame the politicians, but they are simply indicative of the underlying state of this country. I'm finding it very easy to go deep into streams of thought about the state of things and face these things from a place of feeling personally invested, yet still rather objective. It's an interesting middle ground between an empathogenic state and an analytical one. The body high is still quite nice, it feels velvety yet electric. Although I've only done DOPr the one time so far, I can't help but find DOiP to exactly resemble a cross between DOC and DOPr's body feeling... DOPr has an absolute calm, velvety soft feeling, without an excess of energy, while DOC has that crackling electric feel with a lot of limb energy. This is right in between those, it's really quite nice, one of the nicest parts actually. Really pleasant feeling drug.
I'm starting to get very hungry so it's probably time to think about making some dinner.
8:20pm (T+7:08 ) - For the record, I smoked a hit of weed just now.
That definitely made it more intense. Still no visuals, but social insecurity is coming back. I think if I was by myself this would be a more worthwhile experience. I'm kinda working through some intense feelings right now. Some stuff I just realized. I feel really quite emotionally exposed. I think part of it is the weed. The weed has brought a rather overwhelming aspect to it, a flood of emotions and thoughts, very rapid and in my face. I'm not that intoxicated, but my inner dialogue is intense and somewhat difficult to deal with. I think some of it is coming from social interaction with my girlfriend, it would probably be easier to deal with if I was alone, or maybe even primarily positive. Right now I'm feeling physically nice but I am wishing I hadn't smoked that hit of weed. Oh well. I just spent the last 20 minutes typing and deleting and retyping this paragraph that is supposed to be a stream of consciousness about what I'm feeling. Not sure what that means.
Overarching sense of calm above this intense storm of thoughts and emotions.
10:20pm (T+9:08 ) - Been watching TV. Take etizolam
11:10pm (T+10:58 ) - I feel the body high still, substantially calmed down the thoughts which were intense
The Next Day
Well, I had originally intended to just flesh out my notes and post it as-is, but as you can see it got a little disjointed towards the end so instead I will write a summary now, the next morning. I'll also leave my notes, unedited, in the report as well to help to communicate my immediate state throughout the trip.
The trip started out very slow, and nice. One thing I notice about DOiP is that, even though its total duration is certainly less than DOC's duration, it comes up more gradually than DOC does and seems to consistently reach the peak slowly, at around 4-5 hours in. The feeling begins as a smooth, warm velvety blanket sort of feeling that creeps ever so slowly over my body and then my mind. Everything becomes slowly suffused with good humor and my body feels lovely. I feel communicative, and my body is suffused with warmth, I can feel it in my skin. At least on this trial, that warmth and body feeling produced a sense of sexual desire in me, I wanted to be touching someone else. It felt very sensual. This is in contrast to DOC's come-up, during which I feel decidedly not sexual, in fact my body tends to feel kind of cold and I have some vasoconstriction which is, of course, not conducive to being aroused.
In terms of energy, as I mentioned in my notes, it's somewhere right between DOC and DOPr. With DOC I have a lot of restless limb energy and feel the constant need to move, to the point that sitting still is unpleasant. On the other hand, with DOPr, the body feeling is so calm and relaxing that I feel comfortable sitting entirely still the whole time, there is no limb energy to deal with. DOiP seems to contain enough limb energy to give it that electric feeling that DOC has, but only lightly, so that I am able to channel it more easily than with DOC, but as it built towards the peak I found it more and more difficult to deal with, given that I was sitting at my desk doing work. Next time I do this it will be when I'm spending a day outside hiking or something.
I think my notes convey everything that was happening pretty well until I smoked weed at around 7 hours in. Right after that, things got far more difficult and mentally disorienting, as well as interesting. Just like the first time I took this drug, smoking weed greatly increased its strength into truly psychedelic territory. Basically what happened was that my thoughts started racing. I was feeling these surges of intense emotions and thoughts, many of the thoughts being anxiety-related, second-guessing myself and my behaviors. I would find myself suddenly in the middle of these deluges of realizations about aspects of my life. I don't want to really go into specifics but some of them were disturbing and it was highly personal. Then I would snap out of it and feel calm again, but next thing I knew, I was back on a rollercoaster. It was pretty rapid-cycling, and every time I would fall back into it without realizing it and then at some point I'd realize it in the midst of anxiety and pull myself out of it again, only to once again succumb. The next couple of hours was characterized by a rapid cycle of wishing I hadn't smoked weed to being glad I had because it was interesting and strong. I believe the weed contributed to the more self-doubting/paranoid elements to this phase, but the thing that I recognized from my first trial at 5mg was the same, which was basically a very intense inner dialogue that mostly deals with emotions and the self, which was certainly the domain of DOiP. I thought long and hard about a lot of aspects of myself and why I feel certain ways that I do, and I think this is an interesting and useful aspect of this drug which, so far, I have experienced 100% of the times I've taken it (2 for 2).
Unfortunately I think if I had been by myself I would have been able to make more use of this state by closing my eyes, removing distractions, and going inward, but since I was with my girlfriend, even though she's totally friendly to me tripping, I still felt like I had a responsibility towards her socially and I felt awkward about that, so a lot of my mental space ended up being consumed by anxieties related to that. I started to play piano at one point but right then she turned on some orchid care videos she was trying to watch to solve a problem with one of her orchids that was her project that evening. So I stopped playing, which made me feel very unsure and insecure as well. I felt quite emotionally exposed and fragile. The onslaught of emotions and intellectual reasons for those emotions was rather exhausting because of how many difficult ones were surfacing for me.
At around 9 hours in, I decided to take some etizolam, 1mg (that vial I mentioned I found with thick liquid turned out to be etizolam), because it was getting quite tiresome. Within a relatively short time it calmed my thought substantially and I ended up reading quite a bit of my book I'm working on, which was great because then I was able to focus my emotion-laden mind onto the plight of fantasy characters which was much less personally confronting and enjoyable. The rest of the night was spent sometimes conversing with my girlfriend and sometimes reading. I never really stopped feeling a bit awkward in conversation, but it was bearable. Then around 1am (T+12 hours, more or less), I still felt too awake to sleep so I took 1mg more of etizolam and was out quite quickly. This morning I feel no trace of the DOiP, though I did take a while to shake off the grogginess of etizolam.
Well this trial was part success and part failure. It turns out 12mg is a fairly strong dose. I didn't get any visuals at all though at the peak things took on a "significant" look, where colors and shapes stood out a bit more significantly. It seemed like a bit of a higher dose might have brought out some visuals. I think I can pretty safely say that, for me, DOiP is a highly emotional psychedelic, and that its duration is indeed shorter than DOC's duration. I wish I had let it run its course without etizolam so I could have accurately judged the whole duration, but there's always next time. It seems that from start to finish it must be at least marginally longer than 12 hours. I learned that I should pay more attention to set and setting next time and for my next trial I certainly will not do it on a whim during a work day, "for science", but rather on a day of hiking with perhaps some kind of hanging out with friends afterwards... for me, I think DOiP has the potential to be a good social drug, despite the fact that I wanted to be alone this time. Honestly I have been in kind of a weird place recently with stuff that's been going on in my life, and in this instance, the drug was really forcing me to focus on that stuff and it just wasn't that comfortable, and it was highly personal. But probably ultimately useful, too.
That said, I think DOiP is a surprisingly good drug, for all that you basically don't hear much of anything about it, even from people who have tried it. It feels really good in the body, truly pleasurable, complete with euphoric rushes. It really awakens the mind and primes it to think deeply and emotionally. It really is a very interesting stepping stone between empathogen/entactogen and psychedelic. I remember from my first trial that it mixed fantastically with music and I really wish I had gotten to test that again. Last time, while listening to music my mind was exploding in all directions with beautiful thoughts facilitated by the music, and I felt so euphoric I remember thinking it felt just like a rush of methylone. I didn't get that this time but again, this was due to set and setting, I'm pretty sure.
Well, there it is, almost 2 years between my first two trials. I'll try to get a third one in, 12-15mg on a hiking day, sometime later this year. I really like the stuff but I think it, like so many other psychedelics, is pretty powerful and deserves a little more respect than I gave it this time.
Tagged by Xorkoth