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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Does the world need a fuckreports.com?

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psytaco

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2005
Messages
1,673
It has happened to most of us before. We have put in countless time at a pub/club/party chatting up a member of the opposite sex, buying them drinks, dancing and if we happen to be smooth enough, some kissing action. We've spent money on alcohol and taxis, spent time away from our mates to put in some ground work and scrapped our brains to find interesting and witty anecdotes to impress the object of our desires. But despite all this effort and expenditure of financial and emotional resources we are not guaranteed of getting a decent root out of it all.

This happened to me on the weekend. I was being smooth as always8( , and managed to bring a cute girl back to my place. But unfortunately the hot sex that I was planning to have was terrible. I'm not going to into details but I don't think what I got at the end of the was worth the trouble I went to in getting it.

"So what?", most of you are probably asking. "How do you know that it wasn't you who was the shit one psytaco", to which I reply 'get fucked!'. Others of you may be thinking "oh well, too bad, but thats just part of the game". but it doesn't have to be.

I propose that their be an internet site modelled on pillreports.com called fuckreports.com. You take a picture of your fuck, rate them out of ten (or in the new scale low, medium or high) and provide their diameters (width and length), whether or not they regularly score, their texture etc. This will mean that no longer will people have to have a dogdy root, as people will know of the shit that's going around town and know what will get you fucked really good. Also fuckreports.com will let you know if there are any adulterated roots going around (ie. trannies, she-males, fatties), helping you steer clear of those awkward and embarrassing moments.

So anyway what do you guys think. Good idea, bad idea, or just a stupid thread?

ALSO for a more substantial conversation topic: do you think it is possible to tell if someone is a good root by how they look, act etc. If so, how?
 
^^It would be pretty funny, but honestly I don't know if you could rate someone properly after having sex with that person for the first time. They or you could either be drunk or trashed on various things, and I think that would have a significant effect on the overall uhem situation. ;)

Also I don't know how you'd go about putting a picture of that person on the site. Would you have to tell them first so that they would have to agree, or would you just do it on the sly. A few things to consider are that if she found that you put a report up on her without telling her first then you could possibly be in some deep shit. Also if she was to put a report up on you after prior agreement on both sides and you did something that pissed her off slightly, who's to say that she wouldn't give you a bad rating?

There's too many variables to stop this from working properly, but a hilarious idea nonetheless! ;)

EDIT: Oh and what someone else considers crap could be great for the next person. Also by the time you were to go and check fuckreports, it might actually be too late as you probably would have already wasted valuable time on this person. =D

I analyse this stuff way too much.
 
psytaco said:
"How do you know that it wasn't you who was the shit one psytaco", to which I reply 'get fucked!'.
Click to expand...

LOL!


The idea is solid on paper (ok, its about as solid as a rum induced grog bog), but I think there is just a slight chance, that some people might actually not tell the truth and say people are bad roots because they havent gotten balls deep themselves. ;)




And to answer the question part.... No, it isnt really possible to work out how good a root someone is by their looks....

However, patterns that seem to appear for me and my circle of friends seem to say that really really really bullshit hot chicks seem to be starfish the majority of the time. They come into the equation with a "I supply the vagina and thats all I do" mentality.

Where as just regular hot chicks seem to be more into it.
 
I think the world needs a fuckheadreports.com

And you my friend psytaco, will be getting a special mention on that forum baby

;)
 
breakyaself said:
I think the world needs a fuckheadreports.com

And you my friend psytaco, will be getting a special mention on that forum baby

;)
Click to expand...

Spoken like a true dud root ;)
So what if you waste one load on a dud. Like a big-game hunter it should be all for the thrill of the chase. Mind you I wouldn't want to have to obtain a sample if I had to "root test" anyone.
In the name of harm minimisation, I'm off for a wank :\
 
His name was Tarquin...
5376089

He was a dud root. He tried to fuck me in a very uncomfortable place. I was not impressed.
 
haha this is awesome.

That being said, I'd be on that site every day going, 'please don't let my picture be on there.' And if it was I'd call my friends and go, 'hey fuckers, go on there and give me 10. 10!!'

edit: Not that I fuck my friends... regularly.
 
^ lol!

i am still kinda shuddering after the use of width, diameter and texture in the original post....

as per the substantial bit of your question, it's my belief that people who are constantly going on about sex ad nauseam, are usually crap.

however, my beliefs are normally incorrect.

so no, i don't think you can tell. i think it ultimately depends on your chemistry with the person blah blah blah ;)

and for the record, i didn't actually have sex with him, but the person i would predict (then again, i could be wrong) to have been worst in bed was a guy i hooked up with in byron who we call 'the german' aka 'the lip rapist'.

i felt like my lips were being swallowed down his throat, and my entire face felt like it was covered in his saliva. he suggested we go back to his station wagon that had a bed set up inside it. i ran away.
 
Blown to much of me time
Buyin' Dinner and Wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find
That what's on me mind
Isn't on hers and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines
That save wastin' time
And keep me from blowin' me brass
I'm ever so cool
I just prop on me stool
Right next to hers and I ask
 
^^You would lose points for making someone wait and then being really bad with those superficial heartless wenches! ;)
 
Beatlebot said:
His name was Tarquin...

He was a dud root. He tried to fuck me in a very uncomfortable place. I was not impressed.
Click to expand...

What, like the back of a volkswagon?

:)
 
^^ i fucking knew that was coming, just didnt wanna be the one to do it :)
 
Yeah I was surprised someone didn't beat me to it :)

Who said originality isn't dead?
 
Even better, you should get a rating on the site which correlates to a pill rating on PillReports and if people want to have sex with you, the cost is one of that type of pill.

That'd be great because I love Green Mitsi's! =D
 
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