Opioids Does anyone have advice about the mental effects of anticipating opiate withdrawal?

[Bomb319]

I've been on opiates for years, and now methadone. I'm a fast metabolizer and I can start to feel sick pretty quickly, but not full-blown as bad as it used to be unless I go without for a long time. The thing is, I've gone through such hell both experiencing and anticipating withdrawal. Every time I feel warm, it makes me feel at least a bit like I'm starting to go through it again because I've become so terrified of having to go through it yet again. Even if I've just had my dose...if I can't get my next one on time for whatever reason, I won't be able to eat or sleep, I can't stop watching the clock and waiting for each and every agonizing minute to pass by, etc. I'm just so sick of it...if I'm doing something else that takes my mind off it, I feel fine and even opiate effects if I've just had it. So basically my mental state is very synergistic with my opiate state, but I can't stop being paranoid that it's starting, going to start soon, or getting worse.

 

[666ras]

Maybe your does just isn't sufficient to start out with?

Aside from that, I've known at least one person that was allowed to take their methadone twice daily rather than once for just about the same reason - he was at the right dose, but his body would just process it too fast. Problem is many clinics have limited hours, and too often even a mention of something like that sends up the alarm bells to get them thinking "diversion".

If you can't get moved to twice daily doses, you MIGHT investigate dropping down from your dose and switching to suboxone, which you'd take twice daily anyways, but it's also long acting (i think the half-life is more than methadone's actually), so it builds up in your system which helps a lot with the ups and downs.

 

[cjh1221]

The half-life of Suboxone/Subutex is 37 hrs. Methodone's is approx. 36. Too close to really make a difference.

 

[Znegative]

I understand what you're going through OP, but you gotta look at it the other way man (or woman) like when I'm tapering down on my suboxone and I'm sweating and my legs are sore as fuck I feel tougher for it, my greatest fear when I was really badly strung out was going to jail and kicking in there, and then it happened and I'm glad I did, withdrawal is hell but knowing you can go through it and take it like a man does something for your ego.

 

[Keif' Richards]

It sounds so goddamn simple no doubt, but you need to minimize your fear. We waste a lot of "valuable" real-life time as Opioid addicts and throwing in the "anticipation" of sickness makes us all the less functional. Withdrawal and addiction are all humorous to me at this point. If I wake up sick and I have to go to work, if I don't laugh about the situation, my choices, my life, the ridiculousness of it all, then it can all be quite depressing.

 

[Bomb319]

Thanks for the replies, all Much appreciated. As far as the twice per day suggestion goes - I'm in BC, Canada where we actually get our methadone from the pharmacy like any other prescription. I still have to go to the clinic to see the doctor and get that prescription first, but visits are only once a month or month and a half (now, anyway). Besides, I also get carries for five out of the seven days in the week. The pharmacy is very close to me, so I realize I am very lucky with this compared to some people who are forced to drive an hour or more every single day to get their dose! That's just nuts. So I can split my dose in two by myself on days when I have carries, however I would still need to go to the pharmacy twice per week where my dose has to be taken all at once. It would just mess with my blood levels too much

As far as getting over withdrawal....I don't know, man. I understand the "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" argument, but for me, I just have a lot of trouble with it. I don't know if I'm just a pussy and weak or whatever, but when I'm in the actual process of withdrawal, no amount of positive thinking makes it better. If I try to tell myself I can get past it and force myself not to think about it, that just gets me far MORE anxious by trying to suppress it! Eventually, it builds up too much and winds up being worse than it otherwise would be. I honestly don't know how people can work like that, when you can't stop sweating and have to wipe your face every second, and feel nauseated enough to puke at any time. I just can't talk myself into doing that, or any other activity. I always SAY I can do it when I'm feeling fine, but then the actual sickness comes and my brain will simply have none of it. Maybe it's fundamentally weakness or laziness...I honestly don't know; except for the fact that I have been through this so many times, and suffered so much from previous similar experiences that I just end up giving myself a panic attack if I try doing this.