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Did Getting Fit Help With Getting Girls?

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
620
Location
Gainesville, Florida
I'm out of shape at the moment; I'm 6'2" but weigh a nasty 218 lbs. I took up weight training about 3 weeks ago and have adjusted my diet to one which is high in protein. If I could get down to 200 lbs and look jacked would it even help? The obvious answer is probably going to be a resounding "yes" ... however, there is this caveat: my face is fucking ugly and no matter how ripped I become I would most likely be considered that "buff-but-ugly guy". So I'm not sure whether my foray into personal fitness will help me with the ladies.

I'm rambling here, but have any other guys on here changed their appearance by losing fat and gaining muscle and had more interest from females? How were you treated by females before and after become ripped? I would really like to hear from dudes with busted-up faces, too.
 

Sunyecho

Moderator: EADD
Staff member
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Jul 20, 2020
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1,259
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Trying to find my self but unable so far.
Short answer - yes. If you think that your face is not attractive then having strong biceps really helps. It will also give you a confidence boost so you may look at yourself differently after you get in shape. In the end, it can't hurt and can only make you more healthy which automatically makes you more attractive. Definitely go for it.
 

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
620
Location
Gainesville, Florida
Short answer - yes. If you think that your face is not attractive then having strong biceps really helps. It will also give you a confidence boost so you may look at yourself differently after you get in shape. In the end, it can't hurt and can only make you more healthy which automatically makes you more attractive. Definitely go for it.
My biceps, right now, are 16 inches when flexed. I've actually been complimented on my upper arms in the past. However, my forearms look like fucking twigs. They look ridiculous.

Regarding the other aspects: yes, I suppose training is conducive to higher self-confidence, which in turn projects outwards and seen by girls. Also, you're right on the health point; I'm doing myself a valuable service (in terms of health).

When I say my face is busted up, I mean it. My face is a 3/10. Fuck, no, maybe a 2/10.

You know, there are days when I wake up and look in the mirror and say to myself, "Damn Michael_25, why you're perpetually single is beyond me ..." Then I take a selfie with my cellphone and think "Get fucked! No wonder you get zero girls interested in you ..."

The last time a girl desired me was back in 2005. We fucked a few times but it was really just a friends-with-benefits situation.
 

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
620
Location
Gainesville, Florida
im pretty sure its because in all your other threads you don't even view women as humans
Bro, I respect women. I have never insulted or belittled a female in my life. I don't blame them for finding me unattractive -- it is what it is. I met many unattractive females in real life and always treated them with respect, which everyone deserves. For some reason, my previous threads have been misconstrued. Some BL'ers have accused me of being a chauvinistic pig, which I am not.
 

G_Chem

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
3,527
I suggest having a read over at the “Nice Guys” subreddit because your post often have elements which give me the impression you may be one.

You seem to assume “females” only go for good looking guys cuz in most males heads that’s the most important thing when looking for a woman as a partner. Your applying your thought process to everyone you meet, because clearly having an attractive partner is important to you.

The fact your response to TripSitter was about how you “treat ugly girls nice” shows he was right on the money.


To answer your question, Yes women and men both prefer physically fit partners. Women care less about it than men.

Remember too men can have a rough face but if your chiseled it’s not quite as important as how we judge women as a society and need EVERYTHING to be perfect.

At the very least it will give you the confidence you desperately need right now. I suggest really reviewing your thought process though, your probably not the ugly monster you think you are and may need to change your standards. I bet some of those “ugly” women weren’t as ugly as you paint them to be and probably could have made good partners. Your doing exactly what you perceive “they” are doing to you.

-GC
 

btechlc

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2009
Messages
224
Yes it helps, but it is not the only thing people look for. Gives you a huge self confidence boost at the very least. For long term relationships I would say it matters less, for one night stands and just being a "bro" going out trying to pick up girls then looks matter a lot more.

In my teens I was a bit heavy but around 20 I got into shape. I had been introverted before but the confidence boost it gave me I think mattered as much as the actual physical change in my appearance getting in shape had.

Had a few years of fun after I got in shape before I settled down that I dont think would have happened otherwise.
 

btechlc

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2009
Messages
224
I suggest having a read over at the “Nice Guys” subreddit because your post often have elements which give me the impression you may be one.

You seem to assume “females” only go for good looking guys cuz in most males heads that’s the most important thing when looking for a woman as a partner. Your applying your thought process to everyone you meet, because clearly having an attractive partner is important to you.

The fact your response to TripSitter was about how you “treat ugly girls nice” shows he was right on the money.


To answer your question, Yes women and men both prefer physically fit partners. Women care less about it than men.

Remember too men can have a rough face but if your chiseled it’s not quite as important as how we judge women as a society and need EVERYTHING to be perfect.

At the very least it will give you the confidence you desperately need right now. I suggest really reviewing your thought process though, your probably not the ugly monster you think you are and may need to change your standards. I bet some of those “ugly” women weren’t as ugly as you paint them to be and probably could have made good partners. Your doing exactly what you perceive “they” are doing to you.

-GC

BURN
 

Shelbel69

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Armpit of America
I'm out of shape at the moment; I'm 6'2" but weigh a nasty 218 lbs. I took up weight training about 3 weeks ago and have adjusted my diet to one which is high in protein. If I could get down to 200 lbs and look jacked would it even help? The obvious answer is probably going to be a resounding "yes" ... however, there is this caveat: my face is fucking ugly and no matter how ripped I become I would most likely be considered that "buff-but-ugly guy". So I'm not sure whether my foray into personal fitness will help me with the ladies.

I'm rambling here, but have any other guys on here changed their appearance by losing fat and gaining muscle and had more interest from females? How were you treated by females before and after become ripped? I would really like to hear from dudes with busted-up faces, too.
This post is simply adorable. Personally, as a female, your physical appearance is secondary to your personality. I look within a person. I observe their behavior & actions. I am by any means not bragging when i say I am confident with my appearance. However, it is my soul, my quirks, my attitude that I wish men would look at, more so than my face/body. Just a thought.
 

JessFR

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 22, 2012
Messages
15,155
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that point right before the end.
This post is simply adorable. Personally, as a female, your physical appearance is secondary to your personality. I look within a person. I observe their behavior & actions. I am by any means not bragging when i say I am confident with my appearance. However, it is my soul, my quirks, my attitude that I wish men would look at, more so than my face/body. Just a thought.

Agreed, personality comes first.

Sure, if I look at a bunch of guys and know absolutely nothing about them, I'm gonna have preferences.

And btw, not all women have the same preferences. Personally I'm not interested in ripped muscley guys at all. Gaining muscle will prolly help with some women but I actually find it a bit of a turn off myself.

But here's the thing, once I get to know all those guys, which ones attract me then might be wildly different then before I knew them and was going entirely off appearance. And ultimately it's who you are as a person that's gonna be the deciding factor. If I really like you as a person, that's gonna make up for a LOT of surface level superficial preferences I might have.

Which isn't to say I don't have preferences, I do. It's just that if I'm interested in you, I'm interested in YOU. If I thought you were hot already that's just a bonus. :p
 

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
620
Location
Gainesville, Florida
Interesting ... I don't have time to multi-quote all respondents but it seems that the general consesus -- at least on this forum -- is that looks are secondary to personality. However, there have only been about half-a-dozen replies so the sample pool is far too small.

JessFR, I'm surprised that you are kind of turned off by muscular, jacked guys. I'm not talking about looking like some steroid-using pro-bodybuilder -- with that I agree; they do look gross. But what about guys who are slim with a nice 6-pack and broad shoulders? I assumed that that is nearly a universal appeal to women.

Nevertheless, I will continue my training and adhering to my diet. I always feel good after a hard 50 minute workout.
 

JessFR

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 22, 2012
Messages
15,155
Location
that point right before the end.
Interesting ... I don't have time to multi-quote all respondents but it seems that the general consesus -- at least on this forum -- is that looks are secondary to personality. However, there have only been about half-a-dozen replies so the sample pool is far too small.

JessFR, I'm surprised that you are kind of turned off by muscular, jacked guys. I'm not talking about looking like some steroid-using pro-bodybuilder -- with that I agree; they do look gross. But what about guys who are slim with a nice 6-pack and broad shoulders? I assumed that that is nearly a universal appeal to women.

Nevertheless, I will continue my training and adhering to my diet. I always feel good after a hard 50 minute workout.

Ehh, maybe I’m unusual, but yeah in many ways I think I’m more attracted to slim guys of a more average kinda build and appearance.

Which probably describes most of the boyfriends I’ve had.

I wouldn’t say I’m turned off by the kinda guys you describe, “slim but with 6 pack”. Just that my preference is probably for more ordinary looking guys. Can’t really explain why, just appeals to me more.
 

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
620
Location
Gainesville, Florida
What's your take on height, ladies? I'm 6'2", and a lot of men have said they're envious of my height. However, at times I feel as though I stick out in the crowd when I really just want to blend in. Girls, what's your ideal height for a male partner? Is 6'2" too tall for you? Or is height really irrelevant assuming the guys are not very short (say 5'5", for example) or very tall (say 6'5", for example)?
 

JessFR

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 22, 2012
Messages
15,155
Location
that point right before the end.
What's your take on height, ladies? I'm 6'2", and a lot of men have said they're envious of my height. However, at times I feel as though I stick out in the crowd when I really just want to blend in. Girls, what's your ideal height for a male partner? Is 6'2" too tall for you? Or is height really irrelevant assuming the guys are not very short (say 5'5", for example) or very tall (say 6'5", for example)?

Welp, speaking only for myself

I wouldn't say any height would be an absolute 100% deal breaker, but speaking just on a fairly superficial level.

My height is pretty much the lower limit. I'll date a guy who's my height or very close, but if he's shorter than me by much more than maybe half an inchish, it's gonna be a tough sell so to speak. I wouldn't ever say never, but you'd be starting at a disadvantage.

For the record I'm about 5'8ish, so on the taller side of female average but with no shortage of guys at least my height or taller)

If you were my height, that'd be no problem. But I'd probably find a hypothetical perfect guy (appearance wise) a little more appealing if he was a couple inches taller. Probably about 2 or 3 would probably be close to the sweet spot.

Too much taller than that, it gets back to as if you were my height again. Certainly not as much a disadvantage as if he were shorter than me, but also not the advantage of a couple inches taller.

But again, none of this is a deal breaker. If I care about you enough, it's not gonna be a relationship killer. It's just a superficial preference.

I've had 2 longer term relationships, and a few fwb situations. Most of them were probably a little taller than me, but not very much. The tallest was a fwb kinda situation from my early 20s. I wanna say he was 6'2? So quite visibly taller than me. Shortest woulda been pretty close to my height, most would have been an inch or so taller than me?
 

ions

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Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
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Pennsylvania
I was in good shape, for some time, and it was like a sand trap. Not that it's any better now. Environment not conducive. you're better off working on your mental frame than losing a measly 20 lbs. Not to say that you shouldn't go for that too. It's all about presenting your best self.
 

Perforated

Moderator: SLR
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Sep 28, 2019
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7,373
I was in good shape, for some time, and it was like a sand trap. Not that it's any better now. Environment not conducive. you're better off working on your mental frame than losing a measly 20 lbs. Not to say that you shouldn't go for that too. It's all about presenting your best self.

That picture of you on your MDMA comedown made you look really fit (back in the day)
 

ions

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Aug 29, 2019
Messages
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You know it. Soccer midfield and some weights. But I was too sexy for most women. So depeacocking a bit helps keep them interested with words. Not saying being invega out of shape is sexy, but it does have it reward. @Atelier3
 

Perforated

Moderator: SLR
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You know it. Soccer midfield and some weights. But I was too sexy for most women. So depeacocking a bit helps keep them interested with words. Not saying being invega out of shape is sexy, but it does have it reward. @Atelier3

Mad. You must have beating them off with a stick in those days. Especially if they were pinging as well. Just remember that hot smooth guy is still inside you man. Even of he’s long down under whatever the invega did.
 
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