Mental Health Depression

[Phoenix_rising]

For many years I've had depression in one form or another. Sometimes it's very mild and other times it's debilitating. There's a part of me that refuses to believe it,that if I give into it I'll be consumed by it.

I think "I'm not that bad,other people are a lot worse." I've seen my Doctor before when I've been suicidal and he offers me antidepressants and counselling. I've had the counselling but refused the antidepressants,which my Doctor finds strange,he says "you self medicate all the time with dangerous drugs,so why not use medicines that I can prescribe?"

I've been prescribed opiates and benzodiazepines before and know how addicting they are. Part of me thinks if I were to use antidepressants that I would never know true happiness again. Sometimes I feel "normal" and function fine so I know that it's possible to still be happy,but when the depression comes,which is 65% of the time,it's awful and using certain drugs in rotation helps for a time.

The best fast acting drug for shifting negative energy has to be the arylcyclohexylamines,then its various psychedelics used in the right setting. I think these drugs are better than prescription ones as you don't have to take them every day. I found relief in Kratom for a short period and opiates,but as we all know they're seriously addictive,but I'd rather take Kratom over the prescribed buprenorphine I was on.

I'm thinking of the last time I was truly happy and that was when I stopped drugs for about a year and got into fitness training. I was using oral designer steroids though,so I suppose that's a drug. I think I'll have to stop using everything to be really happy and myself again,if possible.

What do you do and how do you cope with your depression? Did you have depression before using drugs or has it manifested since?

 

[PurpleDANK9]

Simple short story.

I became depressed after drugs.

Now I'm not sure if the age and the responsibility awareness (Because when wr are kids, everything is a joke) helped to get me depressed but in the end I really think drugs made me like this more than anything.

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

It seems like you have a couple avenues to try out in regards to depression, that being fitness and medication. Both have worked for me.

Not all antidepressants are the same. Some are sedating, some are stimulating, and some just won't work for you, as we are all different.

For myself, walks are very therapeutic. So are animals. Setting small goals and accomplishing them feels good as well. Don't expect yourself to get better in one day, but know that tomorrow could have anything in store. Could get worse, could get better.. i think it's a risk should be willing to take. Staying optimistic and knowing tomorrow could be the best day of your life often times makes the day turn out better than it may have if you thought it would be a bad day..

I had depression before drugs, from bipolar disorder. It's really hard to diagnose mental illness, if not impossible, when we are using drugs.

You won't be drugging your whole life, and as far as pharmaceutical drugs go, those are not a life sentence either.

Remember the good times.. what was going on in your life to make it so good? Maybe a relationship, a job, etc?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

that if I give into it I'll be consumed by it.

It can be a positive feedback loop but there's also a way to cathartic cry as you feel the depression so you can let it go.

The more we try to avoid/stall/ignore emotions the more they'll be there. Keep moving through the feelings, you'll get past it.

If that doesn't work or it makes things worse, stop of course: but I've found allowing myself to feel sad and express it in a healthy way has helped.

"I'm not that bad,other people are a lot worse." I've seen my Doctor before when I've been suicidal and he offers me antidepressants and counselling. I've had the counselling but refused the antidepressants,which my Doctor finds strange,he says "you self medicate all the time with dangerous drugs,so why not use medicines that I can prescribe?"

Because SSRI's don't have great efficacy rates for depression; they are a great tool for people with moderate/severe OCD: tons of efficacy there.

The best fast acting drug for shifting negative energy has to be the arylcyclohexylamines

...

What do you do and how do you cope with your depression?

Arylcyclohexamines i.e. ketamine, s-ketamine coupled with ethyl alcohol (I have posted about this in Trip Reports) and I do feel it saved my life as I was planning on suicide this year.

It's NOT ADVISED for the average population; this is better for "treatment-resistant depression" or people who "don't like ketamine" when they try it with depression/PTSD. Totally changed the effects and I had a way different, more therapeutic experience.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

... let me ask you this, with just arylcyclohexamines speifically which ones are you using, what doses/ROA and what is your protocol (frequency, etc) - have you specifically tried s-ketamine, ketamine?

I have an inkling that some but not all of the class of drugs are going to be as therapeutically beneficial (I suspect 3- and 4-meo-PCP or methoxyketamine to be "more therapeutic" than the other ones; but what do I know....)

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

In the healthful spirit of mindfulness, all feelings and emotions are there, and will be until they're give their day in court, in some way or another. Meditation is about recognizing, then moving on.

Currently, SSRIs are good first-line agents compared to other mainstream pharmaceutical medications. The quick effect of ketamine obviously makes it useful for those with suicidal intent. But for some reason, ketamine has had a long time to proliferate into the system---lack of such profit.

NMDA antagonists themselves, overall, at higher doses have been shown to relieve depression too, just not for as long as ketamine. Most people now think that it's a ketamine meabolite that activates the AMPA receptor (that glutamate also activates) that has a large part in the antidepressant effect. So, about 40 minutes after dosing.

People allowing the doctor to do their bit, and leaving the doctor to do their bit, is how the system is mostly supposed to work. Barring SJ rash or a seizure or another emergency, they usually know what is ebst to use and when. You're free to contact them between sessions usually, but they aren't always responsive. These meds usually take time to work. In-between, as has been suggested, start an exercise routine, a healthy diet, a breathing/meditation practice, help others in the community to stop thinking about yourself all the time, and so on...

You'll feel much better in the end in doing what you can do, and letting the pros do what they've been trained to do.

It can be tough to get out of your own head and realize that you aren't the only one in this kind of world we inhabit.

 

[Shady's Fox]

I've always know deep in myself that I can cure my anixety/depressions in other ways. The only time I took meds, was during my relapse. And this is where I had my last depression. Many and many people don't know the main difference between depression and blues feelings. My cure were my passions. Doing life-worthy things make me forget, cured me. I've always know that if you are depressed and you take meds, you only make it worse. Dunno about anyone else, don't care to, this is was my way of dealing with.

 

[mr peabody]

For many years I've had depression in one form or another. Sometimes it's very mild and other times it's debilitating. There's a part of me that refuses to believe it,that if I give into it I'll be consumed by it.

I think "I'm not that bad,other people are a lot worse." I've seen my Doctor before when I've been suicidal and he offers me antidepressants and counselling. I've had the counselling but refused the antidepressants,which my Doctor finds strange,he says "you self medicate all the time with dangerous drugs,so why not use medicines that I can prescribe?"

I've been prescribed opiates and benzodiazepines before and know how addicting they are. Part of me thinks if I were to use antidepressants that I would never know true happiness again. Sometimes I feel "normal" and function fine so I know that it's possible to still be happy,but when the depression comes,which is 65% of the time,it's awful and using certain drugs in rotation helps for a time.

The best fast acting drug for shifting negative energy has to be the arylcyclohexylamines,then its various psychedelics used in the right setting. I think these drugs are better than prescription ones as you don't have to take them every day. I found relief in Kratom for a short period and opiates,but as we all know they're seriously addictive,but I'd rather take Kratom over the prescribed buprenorphine I was on.

I'm thinking of the last time I was truly happy and that was when I stopped drugs for about a year and got into fitness training. I was using oral designer steroids though,so I suppose that's a drug. I think I'll have to stop using everything to be really happy and myself again,if possible.

What do you do and how do you cope with your depression? Did you have depression before using drugs or has it manifested since?

Maybe have a look here:

DEPRESSION | +80 articles

Can psilocybin treat severe depression? by Barbara Geller, MD | NEJM Journal | 3 Nov 2017 Neuroimaging findings predicted response with this hallucinogen at post-treatment week 5 and correlated with decreased depressive symptoms and heightened mystic feelings. In 1970, the FDA categorized...

www.bluelight.org

 

[Shady's Fox]

@mr peabody

Don't waste his time like this. Why torture him this way? Help him grow, not taking his evolution backwards.

 

[Phoenix_rising]

... let me ask you this, with just arylcyclohexamines speifically which ones are you using, what doses/ROA and what is your protocol (frequency, etc) - have you specifically tried s-ketamine, ketamine?

I have an inkling that some but not all of the class of drugs are going to be as therapeutically beneficial (I suspect 3- and 4-meo-PCP or methoxyketamine to be "more therapeutic" than the other ones; but what do I know....)

It was mainly MXE,O-PCE and ketamine. Methoxetamine being the best for relieving depression fast.

 

[checktest]

I've always know deep in myself that I can cure my anixety/depressions in other ways. The only time I took meds, was during my relapse. And this is where I had my last depression. Many and many people don't know the main difference between depression and blues feelings. My cure were my passions. Doing life-worthy things make me forget, cured me. I've always know that if you are depressed and you take meds, you only make it worse. Dunno about anyone else, don't care to, this is was my way of dealing with.

Yeah, this wasn't my experience, though I understand it. I tortured myself trying to not take medicines, just out-run out-exercise act out depression. I had to be 'true to myself' or not let anything alter what I was meant to feel. Had to remove myself from any substances. That I would be false in taking things. That was not the case for me. Medicines, rTMS, and good therapy saved me and allow me to pursue passions. As for maintenance and meaning in life outside that realm, yeah finding good things, routines, people, and passions were key.

I don't think I'm a normal case, though, and I've been hospitalized multiple times including a reaction to a drug. Definitely have clear familial and environmental factors, as well as maladaptive patterns and beliefs to target. I had depression/anxiety before drugs and found some 'self-medication' delusional. Not that that is the case for many, but it was for me.

There can always be something worse, no need to limit yourself from getting care and improving your life. You have worth, and sometimes the devaluation from depression, dysthymia, and such can hide that. There are things you have yet to discover, passions to explore.

I'm curious about newer glutamatergic/multi-modal antidepressants similar to ketamine/esket, or what drugs may help sustain that response in some individuals. The NMDA antagonist memantine doesn't have the same efficacy as ketamine. I've tried both and had pretty bad SI the day after a ketamine infusion. Which wasn't too abnormal for me at the time and not in my past, but unnerving.

But on the other hand it can be too easy to get caught up in drugs and focusing on the treatment of some condition or avoidance of feeling, rather than engaging in what you may want to do in your life. Fitness is great, real routines and manageable/measurable goals. I take runs and try to pick out a few different weird or interesting things I see sometimes. Like the guy with the recumbent tricycle and lycra.

Trying to meditate in activity or focusing on some things seems to be better for me than some breathing exercises. Quasi-mindfulness. If I think about it too much the metacognition gets a bit weird. My brain kind of runs about though but I've accepted it at some level.

Sometimes it can be about control, someone else prescribes medicines but you sort out your own drugs on your own. At least that is part of how I felt about it. I've had a contrarian streak from childhood.

 

[cokekoalas]

This thread is from three years ago, but I wanted to reach out and offer some support. Dealing with depression is never easy, and I hope you've found some relief and healing since then.
I understand your hesitation around antidepressants and the concerns about losing true happiness. It's a personal decision, and it's important to find the approach that feels right for you. However, I encourage you to consider reaching out to a depression hotline for additional guidance and support. They can provide resources and information tailored to your specific situation.