Mental Health Depression - *trigger warning*

[Hezman94]

i cant cope no more been on my own ten years from abusing stronger opiates in past i cant handle the withdrawal im getting and even if im not withdrawing i think about dieing all the time.
i have access to 100mg diazepam, 800mg morphine, my head telling me to get heroin i would if i knew how to inject myself.
ive tried it loads with oxycodone and pregabalin i also have access to 3000mg of that.
If I do it needs to be done today or tommorow.
Im so miserable ive tried everything i am scared to die but its torture for my head to live like this.
ive asked for help of old friends they just tell me to go away cos they know ive taken heroin before

so im a smackhead for life,, i never want to work, i feel brain damaged from massive doses ive taken in the past and just the shitty quetiapine.
I know i MORE likely wont die if i took all this, they left me in hospital last time with no tablets at all and it was so horrible.
and people survive lethal injections and when i had access to fentanyl when i felt like i was going over it scared me same when i took a lot of heroin and morphine the feeling like ur gonna not breathe is horrible and u strt thinking of people who care like my dad thats one of main thngs stoppin me

i dont enjoy anything at all, i cant function at all, if i take my morphine as prescribed i still feel withdrawal. WHAT DO I DO THE DRS KNOW I ASKED ADDICTION CLINIC FOR METHADONE DETOX SAID NO NOT TOUCHING YOU SINCE UR A CHRONIC PAIN PATIENT.
Yeah that aswell suffering from fibroyalgia and all my family jus think im lazy probs gonna get kicked out my flat cos i ant got thte energy to even clean or brush my teeth.
i dont even think ive had a bath in a month and i cudnt rly care

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

100mg diazepam, 800mg morphine, ...pregabalin i also have access to 3000mg

Dude you have enough to stave off WDs for a minute.
Maybe while buggin one can figure out how to get outa this hole? Problem seems (IMO) that we tend to dig it deeper (the hole) to a point where it seems we cannot get out. We gotta stop diging and start climbing before we ultimately bury ourselves.
... but what there is on-hand could at least get you inna shower?

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Thank you for posting here and being honest.

Although you had bad experience with the hospital in the past, it may be good for you to detox in a safe environment. It sounds like you have a lot going on, like a whole lot, and it would be easier to take things one step at a time - seek help, use your medications that are prescribed, and slowly, slowly taper off those that you don't need. Your dad could even visit you, and I bet he'd be really proud that you had the wits to seek help.

I understand how it sucks not being able to enjoy anything. I feel like that all the time, even when properly medicated. Try finding little things you enjoy, or used to. Like a short walk. Or an ice coffee from Starbucks (you can get them for 54 cents if you keep your cup and get a "refill"). Muahaha beating the system is fun too.

I like to eat food and look at the pretty women outside too on my walks. There's a lot of little things that may get your mind off of stuff.

Keep us updated please bro.

 

[cj]

Your in a bad spot. The best of a bunch of bad options it too ask your pain doctor to taper you off over ask few months.

 

[Hezman94]

annoyed with myself but kind of glad so i know not to in future, i had some crack like a month ago
it destroys me cos im bipolar i think
was cleaning looking for cannabis i had stashed a rock and forgot bout it this stuff was very pure dealer even said sniffin the coke wired him for ages anway underestimating it i filled two decent pipes in spae of hour, i was off my nut wished i spreaded em apart fiended out fora hour, plugged 20mg morphine feel ok now been two hours since i took it but jesus christ how do people take loads of this shit. its horrible and i will feel depressed tommorow.
least i know it does not suit me and i dont see point in it waste of money a tenner for a hour high and to feel paranoid as fuck after, the first pipe i felt greatthe 2nd pipe sent me into mini psychosis staring at wall tripping out, went for a walk and got home drsank cup of tea took 600mg pregab and 20mg morphine and i feel nice now got more for tommorow pregabs.

it was like it was planted there ive searched for tablets and weed for last 2 days then i jus picked this rizla up and massive white pile and i thought oh no!!
after the 2nd pipe my thoughtswer racing i went a walk to get some pregabs and i felt like i ws on low dose ecstacy bouncy and 3 red bulls is this what crack meant to feel like?

plz dont say no wonder ur depressedtaking tht, i got given a pipe on payday so fiended for more and thats how i ended up taking heroin to calm the voices and paranoia last time couldnt get any this time but the pregabs sorted me out , got to go out and get some cannabis, i have smoked a gram in 3 days ive cut down from 2-3g a day and hav been feeling better but rly anxious as been taking my morphine properly.

 

[hyroller]

depression is something I think can be combatted through changing negative behaviours and modes of thought, in combination with medicine. sedentary lifestyles are not conducive to beating it in every case, either. drugs will never patch it up and its' sole properties can cause you to become more embattled by life's simple tasks than need be when clarity is a non-issue. or peace of mind.