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December Recovery Thread

kind of like ; my brain is broken, so how am i supposed to fix it.
talk about hurting when you laugh !
yes, you know the rest of the story.
💔
but i know everyone will be fine, when they know they have to move on. 🖤 🌹
 
hylight I don't want to though. I'll never find something as fulfilling again. It was one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And it's gone. Just like everything else.

And there's no scavenging the stash for left-over bags, cookers or bottles of pills. None of that shit means anything to me anymore.

I think I need some time to myself. I need to get away.
 
I have a bottle of 40+ % abv liquor, pills, weed. I think I'll just take that w/ me and get away for a while. I know, I know, that's not like, smart. I'm not a smart person. Hard drugs (to me that means like things like heroin, meth, morphine, etc) just don't have the same appeal anymore. I need to be alone for a few days.

Where I'm going might not even have much reception. If I'm not contacted tomorrow I'm going to get out for a while and will probably take a week or so to myself. Maybe just 3 days. I don't know.
 
how do i not obsess about lifes problems and not have them consume me completely while trying to stay clean. i can't escape with drugs anymore and my worries are consuming me. i'm 3 weeks clean and in danger of relapsing if it stays like this forever. i need to fix my brain somehow or i will relapse.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
how do i not obsess about lifes problems and not have them consume me completely while trying to stay clean. i can't escape with drugs anymore and my worries are consuming me. i'm 3 weeks clean and in danger of relapsing if it stays like this forever. i need to fix my brain somehow or i will relapse.
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Dude that is me to a T. I just hit 2 weeks clean, but was super depending on getting back to my psychiatrist... and my insurance fell through.

I broke when my twin brother died in Afghanistan. Like I just can’t function without him and it’s been 12 motherfucking years. How? How tf do we get through this shit without chemicals??
 
Sober after a small stutter step. If I keep my clean date this time it will be New Year's Eve...lol... Probably not the most common sober date.
 
happy new year everyone. hope its proving an auspicious start to the new decade.

i had a really lazy holiday period, needed it badly.
 
nuttynutskin said:
I thought the same thing... Viewing sex work as the same as abuse someone suffered seems to be more damaging than helpful. I'm kind of surprised the therapist said that honestly.
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thanks very much nutty and the other people who commented, it was really useful. i still feel like there is a very different quality to sexual exploitation that you've willingly entered into and rape. i think her point, and what upset me, was that i wasn't really capable of consent because i was mentally so fucked. i needed crack and was prepared to do whatever it took to get it. i think that is why i got so upset. i'd felt like i was choosing to sell my body but now i see i didn't really have any agency. realising how far gone i was still hurts after this long. i think it would be different if someone was choosing to make a living like that just because that's what they wanted to do, and didn't have a drug problem, mental illness, coercion, etc.
 
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