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December Recovery Thread

Atelier3

Moderator: DC
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
2,558
I’m a week clean and have no drugs or chance of getting any but last night i tied off my arms with tourniquets and spent half an hour tracing my finger over potentially usable veins and marvelling at their recovery.

I really don’t want to IV again and felt very weird and creepy to myself as I did it.

I probably need to be locked up in a drug free environment a bit longer than i thought
 

Captain.Heroin

Suicide Obsession
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
93,547
Location
Harvard University
Your prediction is way off. It is going to be a good year for you.
It has to be a good year for me, absolutely has to be.

Same to Hylight, it HAS to get better for us <3

I’m a week clean and have no drugs or chance of getting any but last night i tied off my arms with tourniquets and spent half an hour tracing my finger over potentially usable veins and marvelling at their recovery.

I really don’t want to IV again and felt very weird and creepy to myself as I did it.

I probably need to be locked up in a drug free environment a bit longer than i thought
Don't let the obsession control you, you can control it. <3

Stay strong.
 

Captain.Heroin

Suicide Obsession
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
93,547
Location
Harvard University
Is that you?
I've been drinking beer more frequently and smoking marijuana and dabbing less, and taking ephedrine because I have the flu (and gave up ALL hard drugs, like all the good ones I was using this summer-winter to prevent me from taking my life due to severe depression) so my personality is a bit... topsy-turvy. I'm trying to level out on "happy", I know, I know, I seem a bit off.

I literally did quit 4-5 hard drugs all at once this year (haha...this year... more like this month) and quite literally something changed nutty, in my life, so that drugs don't seem so appealing anymore. You can say the "love bug" bit me. I'll leave it at that. :\
 

nuttynutskin

Moderator: Words
Staff member
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
10,621
I've been drinking beer more frequently and smoking marijuana and dabbing less, and taking ephedrine because I have the flu (and gave up ALL hard drugs, like all the good ones I was using this summer-winter to prevent me from taking my life due to severe depression) so my personality is a bit... topsy-turvy. I'm trying to level out on "happy", I know, I know, I seem a bit off.

I literally did quit 4-5 hard drugs all at once this year (haha...this year... more like this month) and quite literally something changed nutty, in my life, so that drugs don't seem so appealing anymore. You can say the "love bug" bit me. I'll leave it at that. :\
Well, I meant your avatar. That's good to hear tho. lol
 

madness00

Sr. Moderator: NMI, MH, CD, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
12,712
Location
New England
Stay strong everyone.

I know December is almost over, but i'm going to be clean until June. Maybe even longer, if this mandatory drug rehabilitation works on me. Can't see myself giving up weed, but maybe meth. I always have said i'd stop meth only for a family, but i may stop sooner. It is no longer fun just masturbating in my room.
 

Captain.Heroin

Suicide Obsession
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
93,547
Location
Harvard University
Stay strong everyone.

I know December is almost over, but i'm going to be clean until June. Maybe even longer, if this mandatory drug rehabilitation works on me. Can't see myself giving up weed, but maybe meth. I always have said i'd stop meth only for a family, but i may stop sooner. It is no longer fun just masturbating in my room.
oh god tell me about it

meth has lost all its allure and all I want is *him* and something that desirable cannot be good for me

ahhhhh *bashes head on keyboard*

I would say "I'm never giving up weed lol" but, for the first time in a long time, woke up and have not smoked/dabbed *at all* and it feels... bad/weird.
 

Captain.Heroin

Suicide Obsession
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
93,547
Location
Harvard University
I'm emotionally hurting. A lot. Over two things. And a third. And more but ... I want to repress/forget it all. I want to be somebody else, someone, like I used to be. It really hurts to want to feel loved more than wanting a drug, it's like, there's not really a drug to make me not give a fuck right now. You know? I used to like heroin/meth more than people. THAT SHIP SAILED, and wow, look at me now. Got no religion, I'm so vacant, I was a virgin, grew up to be a whore. And I want it. I believe it. ....
 
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