• HEALTH &
    RECOVERY
    🌼 Welcome Guest 🌼
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • H&R Moderators: chinup | JessFR
  • Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

December Recovery Thread

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
604
Drug testing for drivers license (hard Finnish version) and adhd tests. Gonna be sober and just save money for a road trip.
I used to live in Finland for a while. I loved driving on their roads,much less congested than the UK and much safer drivers who 99% of the time obay the rules.
I've driven in Turku,Helsinki,Kaarina,Torneo etc etc. Finland is a beautiful country. Good luck with your test.
 

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
604
Day One...all numbers deleted. Flying off to Lanzarote this day next week. Have immodium, benzos and lemsips - otherwise cold turkey.

I reckon 7 days should do it...any thoughts on that number?
Good luck. Its better withdrawing in hotter climes than colder ones. If its short acting opiates then yes 7 days should do it,but psychologically no. The sun should help.
 

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
604
I'm still using Kratom and instead of reducing I'm increasing my dose. I have 4 grams Ibogaine hcl and decided to wait until the kratom runs out and then take a flood dose with a sitter...After the holidays. New year new start.

I wish everyone well and all the best with recovery.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
Staff member
Joined
Aug 1, 2010
Messages
4,030
Location
Greatest city on Earth
^ good luck dr. you got any plans for how you're going to deal with the psychological aspect?

i'm so tired. my boss is a complete arse. i can't wait til the chrismas break.

the other week i went to leeds not to binge on crack for the first time in over 5 years. it was fun. on the way back, i got this memory of one time trying to get to my parents, and i thought the platform had changed, because the train didn't seem to be at the usual platform (ones to the same destination tend to always go from the same platform). i spent 4 hours missing trains cos i couldn't find them cos i was confused about which platform to get them from. they're like every half hour. anyway, i found out when i went recently that the platform hadn't changed at all. i can't believe what a bad state i was in, i didn't even think i was that fucked up at the time.
 

jb99

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
106
can't believe what a bad state i was in, i didn't even think i was that fucked up at the time.
I hear you on that. I've been really, really unwell, both physically and mentally, more times than I care to remember.

I was just reading this article on meth resurgence in America: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/17/health/meth-deaths-opioids.html?

And it reminded me of some scary memories. I'm lucky to be alive and have at least most of my marbles left.

I've been reading a lot of epub books when not watching my kid. Trying to use my time productively until I resume Uni in September.

Recently finished:

Superintelligence - Nick Bostrum

Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment- Francis Fukuyama

A Warning - Anonymous

How Democracies Die - Steven Levitsky & Daniel Ziblatt

The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt

The Uninhabitable Earth - David Wallace-Wells (a classmate of mine. Scary stuff.)

The Case Against Socialism - Rand Paul (I'm generally left of center, and clearly any functioning society is a mixture. But he makes some coherent arguments for decentralization, markets, and personal autonomy. He's a bit of an idealogue tho and a climate denier, which detracts from his credibility.)

First few weeks it was shows and movies, and Reddit, now it's ebooks.
 
Last edited:

somnilicious

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,680
Location
Orlando, Fl
Having a rough time at night. Still sober. Bouncing off the walls, listening to Prodigy, which fits my manic post opiates personality. Trying to counter it with magnesium and melatonin but it's useless. I have kratom but that's counter productive. I just want to sleep. I love reading but unfortunately my brain can't focus. I even have a hard time conversing because I'm zoning out, fidgeting and dreaming of the moment when I can get away. My brain is fucked.. lol
 

OzzBozz

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 20, 2005
Messages
667
Location
Bay area, CA
7 months sober off everything but a 4 aco DET trip and microdosing psilocybin. No weed, cocaine, meth etc.

Grateful. I feel like I can put meth behind me. Lost my parents throughout the course of my addiction (I'm 28 and they passed in my early twenties). Kept using meth and couldn't stop most likely wasn't willing to stop escaping from my thoughts and feelingd
 

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
604
7 months sober off everything but a 4 aco DET trip and microdosing psilocybin. No weed, cocaine, meth etc.

Grateful. I feel like I can put meth behind me. Lost my parents throughout the course of my addiction (I'm 28 and they passed in my early twenties). Kept using meth and couldn't stop most likely wasn't willing to stop escaping from my thoughts and feelingd
Good for you Ozzbozz. It's shit losing your parents,especially at such a young age. I lost my mother at 37 then my Dad at 43,its the hardest thing I've ever had to go through so I know how it affects a person who already has drug problems.

It seems you cracked the addiction cycle brotha. I think it's a great idea using microdosing of mushrooms,its something I'm planning on doing next year after I get off of Kratom. Good luck with your future and keep strong.
 

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
604
Struggling this morning. I need to do some work,but am totally fatigued and ache. I'm taking around 25g of kratom a day in divided doses,at first it stimulated me made me more talkative,but that's gone now.

I was smoking a tiny amount of weed at night but stopped that as it added to the fatigue,but now have trouble sleeping which is nothing new,it's just made it worse. Last night I took 50mg diphenhydramine and got nothing. I think the 64mg of ibogaine hcl I had yesterday kept me awake. I wanted the ibogaine to lift my mood and give me energy,which I think it did in a very subtle manner.

So after tossing and turning I decided on half a flualprozolam and woke this morning totally drained. I wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't and now I'm sitting here ready for work but am finding it really hard to get going. Maybe after this coffee I'll motivate myself. I can't wait until the new year to do this flood dose of Ibogaine,it's my last resort.

Have a great day folks
 

jb99

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
106
How did you like The Goldfinch, jb? I just started it.
It was great. It starts a little slow but really picks up in the second half, and even the slower parts, I love her writing style. Very cozy and enveloping, but also well-engineered.

Did you read The Secret History?
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
Staff member
Joined
Aug 1, 2010
Messages
4,030
Location
Greatest city on Earth
jb i got massively into reading too. when i got to rehab i couldn't read more than 10 pages a day, my brain was so slow. about a week in it had recovered enough that i read requiem for a dream in a day. swore i'd never use toilet water to inject with then had using dreams that disabused me of the notion that literally anything could get between me and a hit. i've been reading a lot of history, a lot of science, and a lot about addiction and trauma, buddhism, and fiction for a break.

phoenix i hope you're feeling a bit better. that insomnia + lethargy combination of opiate withdrawal is a nightmare.
 
Top