- Nov 25, 2019
About 8 months ago I had a horrible trip. I had done acid and shrooms countless times before and never had a bad trip. Anyways, this trip started off really nice but towards the end we decided to bun a zoot and it went super downhill from there. Me and my friend decided we would start walking again after sitting for a while, and we entered a forest with a 2 way path, this is when I started to loop. Every time we went one path the same two paths would appear again, and this went on for what seemed like hours. My friend not knowing I was freaking out kept on repeating the same motions over and over. i was starting to think I had either died and was repeating the last moment of my life or I had gone crazy. I fully though i was in hell. After a while I decided I had to leave this loop so we somehow got out and started walking somewhere else. At this point I was fully convinced my friend knew something i didn't or was hiding something (like he knew I was dead). I quickly grew terrified and insisted to walk the way i knew. We eventually started to walk on a long road to my house and I though he was taking me somewhere or easing me into my death. I was texting my other friend in a desperate attempt to make contact with another person who wasn't this "demon" i thought my friend was. he was slow to respond so it added to my thought of torture and that he would never respond. In terror I walked to the train station and waited for my other friend to arrive. although when he arrived I thought it was just an extension of hell. We all walked for a bit longer and i eventually went home. I didnt sleep for 2 days after because i was convinced i was dead. this continued for weeks although my delusion did get better over time. 7 months after this trip i felt good enough to have a zoot again. while being baked me and my friends entered an elevator where i had the exact same hellish loop like on acid. we would exit the elevator and enter a new elevator over and over again (also felt like forever). It was exactly the same as my bad trip leaving me horrified. we eventually got to the floor we needed to be on and my god was i relieved although still terrified because it reinforced my thoughts that i died back during that trip and i had now ended up back in the hell loop (like it was teaching me some kind of lesson). after an almost full recovery this set me back so far. now i have intrusive thoughts and horrible fears that ill end up in the loop again and the people around me arent real and are all in on this torture. Although I am aware that this is a delusion one part of my brain wont stop thinking about it and believing it. Can someone please explain whats going on with me and how I can sort this out. just living and having thoughts is hard now. thanks for reading this i really need advice.