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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Heroin Death gurgle

What are your options for rehab? Sadly the standard 5 day detox doesn't work. If you can get yourself into a long term recovery program (detox, counseling, sober living, halfway house) I would recommend.

That kind of treatment is out of reach for most. I always wondered why so many famous addicts never landed on methadone. It's because they could afford fancy treatment.

Then there is maintenance. It takes a while to disrupt your behavior. Which is why even a 30 day rehab has little success rate.

Maintenance will allow you to continue your life and learn to change without the added sickness.

There is a guy here named snafu. The way he described his high school days sounded so familiar. Everyone turning everyone onto heroin.

That was my experience too. Fast forward 20+ years the only people clean are

1) Those that served a heavy prison term and whatever happened to them in there traumatized them so bad they would not dare touch it.

2) Those that were on a lengthy maintenance period and reversed their life.

The rest are dead man. Or will be lifers on methadone. I think being alive is better than dead even if you are on it, though. Even in 2020 there have been several deaths. Heroin is very real.

You have to stop street drugs 100% first.
 
If you can get yourself into a long term recovery program (detox, counseling, sober living, halfway house) I would recommend.

100%. I inpatient hospitilization, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient (28 days/28 days/28 days) and it completely changed my life. And not just the drug addiction, it helped me fix the problems that were broken within myself. There were a lot of stars that had to align for everything to work out, and that was one of the bigger stars that allowed it to all happen. I never did sober living or halfway house, but I know a lot of people who continued on to that, as well, although sometimes it seems those environments can lead people to relapse pretty quickly I’ve found from many people’s personal experience with them .
 
You don't know shit . There's more then 2 types of people who get clean. Before you used my past against me i was clean without those 2 requirements.
Well he does make sense though. It's not many people that can stop just by having the willpower. Probably 1 in 100 who stopped actually was strong enough to stop by themselves
 
Well he does make sense though. It's not many people that can stop just by having the willpower. Probably 1 in 100 who stopped actually was strong enough to stop by themselves

No he doesn't. You don't need jail or 20 years to quit drugs .
 
No he doesn't. You don't need jail or 20 years to quit drugs .
That's not what I said. What I said was: There's not many people who can stop by themselves. I don't think he meant that it's IMPOSSIBLE, but it's just highly unlikely.
For most it seems that they either get locked up or a long rehab in order to stop. Also I don't really count stopping for a year as truly stopping. That's pausing your addiction. Maybe that's the difference.
 
That's not what I said. What I said was: There's not many people who can stop by themselves. I don't think he meant that it's IMPOSSIBLE, but it's just highly unlikely.
For most it seems that they either get locked up or a long rehab in order to stop. Also I don't really count stopping for a year as truly stopping. That's pausing your addiction. Maybe that's the difference.

Did i say you said that? No i said he said that. I said you don't need jail or 20 years. Fk
This your new name?
 
Did i say you said that? No i he/you said that. I said you don't need jail or 20 years. Fk
This your new name?
No, I mentioned above poster as "he", so I'd have to have a split personality in order for that to be myself.

Well I was still trying to discuss this with you, because I don't really agree with you, but obviously you only want to talk this out with TheInvisibleStoner, that's OK. I think for a PERMANENT solution you need to hit 'rock bottom'. Otherwise it's always the same story "stopped for 5 years. Thought, 'hey I stopped for 5 years, I'll celebrate it with just a little bit of Heroin' aaaand they're back to square one.

edit: But to be fair - I'm not an addict, I'm a therapist. I have no idea how it truly is. So this is only what I've experienced from my work, my patients and on this Forum.
 
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I've never done heroin but I do use meth from time to time. My sons ex partner oded in the room next to me and my son woke me up freaking out. I didnt k ow what to do fully because I've never experienced that before but I had some medical training thanks to the army and was able to keep my cool. The person did survive luckily and has oded afew other times since 4 times I believe and by only the grace of god he had lived. I am now a carrier of narcan even though that only works for opiates like heroin. Heroin is a nasty drug my friend and your life is worth alot more then you think. Times get hard trust me I'm 44 and been homeless several times in my life but I know if I'm able to open my eyes everyday I will be the controller of my life I will choose how I live and not blame anyone because it is my choice how I like and I will never let heroin control my like. What I'm saying is take charge my friend and you can control your own destiny dont the the drugs there not worth it. Sorry for ranting on all
 
I used to make this noise all the time, I called it the dope groan, it’s our bodies’ mechanism of forcing ourself to continue breathing, and with that, that means we’re veering much to close to the line. It’s difficult, with my experience, to cast much judgement as that was typically my goal state to reach and I fear many opioid addicts‘ ideal state. Eventually, you will undoubtedly cross the line in the spectrum where your body is unable to allow you to continue to breathe, and once that threshold is reached, there is no guarantee you will ever experience one more second of life on this planet.

By the way, once you cross that threshold, there is no guarantee you will be completely unconscious and painless, your brain will start misfiring due to lack of oxygen and the experiences at that point, in my experience, are incredibly painful and terrifying.
So youve been sort of conscious of yourself overdosing before, to the point your brain started going all crazy from lack of oxygen? Could you not force yourself to take a breath? Could you go more into depth about the painful and terrifying expieriences?
 
Well he does make sense though. It's not many people that can stop just by having the willpower. Probably 1 in 100 who stopped actually was strong enough to stop by themselves
I always thought everyone who did manage to stop basically did it through their own willpower, its not like it will ever work if you dont do it for yourself
 
I always thought everyone who did manage to stop basically did it through their own willpower, its not like it will ever work if you dont do it for yourself
O no, I didn't mean you don't need willpower to stop after hitting rock bottom. Even with a prison sentence/rehab you will still need the willpower. I've just not heard many stories about people just strong enough to stop by themselves, before anything really bad happened.
 
So youve been sort of conscious of yourself overdosing before, to the point your brain started going all crazy from lack of oxygen? Could you not force yourself to take a breath? Could you go more into depth about the painful and terrifying expieriences?

Not conscious by any means. Because of that, no, you’re pretty much dependent on the portion of your brain that controls the breathing to tell your body to breathe. As far as the painful and terrifying experiences, I could write an entire thread on my last overdose, and first, near death experience. I was unconscious and left for dead, and for hours, stimuli that made it to my brain was interpreted in the most bizarre fashions. It’s very difficult to describe, because experiences usually have the assumption of coming from the point of view of the self, but I (and I didn’t know who I was, I was just a... being of some sort... that was aware they had died and had to suffer various forms of eternal torture and hell.) I realized much later that what I perceived during that time was actually someone trying to give me CPR, for instance one of the forms of torture I was a computer program, with a conscious, that was programmed by someone who wanted to inflict the most pain upon the conscious being in the program, so there was what I perceived to be an insane amount of pressure — and remember, I’m not a human being per se, I’m a being of some fashion that is able to perceive pain only — and an insanely high pitched noise, which in hindsight must have been when the person was blowing air in my mouth (maybe, I’m not entirely sure, but it makes sense.) I’m unable to properly articulate the other experiences, since they were perceived with complete loss of self, but it was terrifying ... and I’m not religious at all. It shook me to my core and was the foundation that allowed me to change my life. I still to this day think, well, what if? What if there is a hell? I sure as hell wouldn’t want to risk going there, even if I believe the probably of it is close to 0%.

Long story short, it was a quick and brutal way to come to terms with my own mortality, there was undeniably no way I could continue to live with any disregard for it anymore.
 
That sounds terrifying. I know what you mean, though. I saw my ex boy friend turn purple and make that noise in 2015. I heard that sound suddenly, looked over and he was .... purple, but also whiteish blue. Making that sound and eyes rolled back. Needless to say I called 911 after 2 unsuccessful narcan stabs. He lived. He was not alone, though.
Please be careful. I know you know how dangerous this lifestyle can be. There is just so much guessing and experimentation involved. Risk. I know I mostly used alone.- I od’d so many times idk. Somehow someone always found me - came into the house, bathroom or bedroom, like divine intervention. I ended up doing 13 treatments, my last one in prison. My last heroin use was just over a year ago - I made that noise fully cognizant that time, as well (the only time that happens awake). I had what seemed to be an out of body experience, seeing my overdose. It scared the crap out of me and I flushed my stash for the first time in my life. I took it as my last chance.

What are you striving for? Save your lifeeeeeee 😤😉👁 sorrynotsorry for the mini pep talk.
 
Facts.

The problem is all those hidden trap doors on every bottom that bring you to an entire new level of hell each time you fall through ;)

^This really hit home for me. I feel like this last bottom is gonna be the one that does it, but if I really think about it, I probably said that last time too. I guess everyone's bottom is different, but I have seen people escape before anything relatively bad happened. That is definitely not the case for me though, and it's not true for most people I know. Most people I know are either dead, in prison, homeless, or at the very least still struggling hardcore. Of the few that made it out, most went on long-term maintenance of some kind and only stopped after some gnarly shit went down.
 
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