Deal Breaker?

[soundsystem00]

I am dating a single mom who has a 12 year old son. I really love this girl and her son is super nice.

The last guy she was with left her because he wanted a family so bad, and she refused to have any more kids.

I am truly in love with her and would sacrifice having any more kids, but it does kind of scare me sometimes to realize that I am committing to never having a kid in my life if things get serious with her.

I am about to be 32 so honestly I am getting to the age where I feel like I missed the mark anyway. I am really immature and feel like a child most of the time, so maybe I was not meant to be a Father. Also, financially, I do not really think that I can handle a kid. I am an artist and I like having the freedom to take gigs, do shows, make art, and even travel if need be.

But I always thought it would be cool to have my own son. I guess if it doesn't happen, it isn't meant to be, because everything else feels right with this one.

Opinions? What would you feel in this situation? Deal breaker or no biggie??

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

It's really up to you and how important the kid is, obviously, but for me it would not be a deal breaker.

Finding true love is difficult (for me). And if i ever were to fall for someone head over heels, i would push and push (literally and figuratively) to have a kid, but if she really didn't want one.. i guess i'd respect it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

You're only 32. Lots of single moms out there.

 

[Iceman1216]

I had a kid at 37; greatest moment of my life , and he graduates collage this month. Make sure you are really sure you don’t want kids, should be something you have decided before it’s a compromise for a relationship.
I really love a fantastic women for two years , she Never wanted kids, I felt I could change her, at the end she let me go because I would be a great dad and should do that.
Be sure , it’s a lot to give up

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

It's only a deal breaker if it's a deal breaker for YOU. I would say to keep pursuing it... and just have it at the back of your head, like, hmm, is this something that I can commit to in the long run

 

[soundsystem00]

Yeah! She’s awesome. I too have a hard time finding someone compatible. She’s so kind, compassionate and patient with my bullshit. That’s rare and a luxury to have for me. It could be 10 years before I find that again.

She feels so right that I truly believe that if we don’t have kids then I was meant to stay free from the responsibility. Maybe for my art. Who knows.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Well you know she doesn't want more kids so you have to be really sure that you don't want any before you go any further. That's up to you. Personally, I don't want kids either. Pain in the ass.

 

[soundsystem00]

Well you know she doesn't want more kids so you have to be really sure that you don't want any before you go any further. That's up to you. Personally, I don't want kids either. Pain in the ass.

Haha!!! Exactly. I was hanging out with my dad yesterday and I said “If having a kid is anything like what I put you through, then I do not ever want to have one!”