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Desperate day 32 jumped from 2mgs of Bupe and ocassional benzo binges having weird symptoms pls help!

newbiecodone

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Joined
May 23, 2012
Messages
104
Location
in a country with the shitiest meds available
First I want all of you bluelighters out there who will see this to please any idea any adfvice or anything just write it and post it please please I am not sure if I am just sick or I am WDing for 32 days?

I took suboxone believe it or not recreationaly went to a SUBS doc and just got a shitload of 8mgs even threw in a few packs of bromazepam and I was playing him that I dont want to take benzos because of another addiction.

He prescribed it anyway and the addict in me offcourse took a half of pack I dont remember how much mgs of bromazepam which for me was a relatively weak benzo compared to the alprazolam1mg or diazepam 10mgs tablets.

I ended up shooting up the bupe 10 mins after the half pack of bromazepam I just know this because my romantic drug induced love story girlfriend was there with me and she said I slept with the needle in my arm which was for me back than pleasurable I got the nod I got the opiod experience which I was seeking since I randomly found a pack of DHC continus 120mgs tabs (father was a doctor) so I started getting DHC through him he was an alcoholic but never agresive we were a nice upper midleclass family in a suburb flat.

To get to the fucking point excuse me for the harsh language but at this point its the minimum I am willing to do to somehow describe how motherfucking desperate I am today and I had better days since 32 days I am clean.
Just to begin with I am at last 30 days clean that was oni sunday I was promoted in a IT corporate enviroment by 2 positions up I was a functional addict and so I achieved my career goals but I still am making not as good a salary to be calm over money because the rent over here is fucking killing me and I was living the last 3 years in shared flats and I just am fed up with people most of the time I like to be alone or with a chosen friend or a woman sexual companion it does not mean I am antisocial I mingle here and there since I am getting older I will be 28 in January I am misanthropic about the civilization and population and people and the fact that I am a singular part of it makes me sick but the issue is that I took alprazolam dayli since day 7 of WDs from Bupe it helped tremendeously 3mgs in the morning and I would have no issues almost maybe a bit of diarrhorea but at this point I am used to it and no I wont take loperamide because I do not want any opiate in my system central or peripheral acting dont give a shit no naloxone no opiates nothing that binds on the MU opioid receptors.

The question is why the fuuuuck am I feeling soo fucking bad yesterday I had my last mg of alprazolam I took it in max 3mg doses at once for not more than 15 days thats really an over estimate. So I rule out benzo WDs I dont think this is a benzo WD. My feeling is that theese are the famous PAWS but like an hour before I loged in here I had my first meal after 3 days of ketamine and meth and my stomache was burning but that is caused by the stims for work which were fine since I still had alprazolam.

What bothers me is when I do not take any benzo I start having this fucking dry cough when I was like 7 days in to WD I actually coughed so much I threw up everything I ate that day I had an apetite and everything because smoked weed I guess.

I am starting to drink heavy alcohol like vodka to supress the fucking cough becuase its like I wake up in the middle of the night no sweats just wake up and start slowly coughing more and more and more until I hear my lungs creaking with every breath I smoked cigs like maybe to cumulate it for 3 years maximum 5 cigs a day at work and I was a passionate weed smoker before all this opiate nonsens.

You all know there is this Corona virus going on and I am coughing but then I take a mg of alprazolam and I am fine or get tipsy on vodka and it supreses trhe cough. I remember my father when he did not have any vodka to drink in the morning he would be dry heaving and coughing since 5 am poor basterd had to go to work like that that day because I refused to buy vodka the night before I was ashamed the tescos ladys knew me and I hated to look like a junkie not to mention alcoholic ....

So do I have the covid or does benzos or gaba protagonists alcohol benzos have a contraindication or a mellow WD effect manifesting ass heavy dry cough ???
Please help me answer this because I am after 8 year 32 days clean I am working my ass off I had to broke up with my ex and my mother threw me out from my old bedroom where I went just sometimes for a weekend because I work at the neighbouring country in EU.

All this happens once in my life when I am actually not fucked up but clean and getting cleaner every day because opiates opiods for me it was inconcievable I tried 5 times to quit and could not take it.
Now I do my time 32 fucking days and I have theese symptoms I dont want to order another alprazolam because I would be addicted very soon ....

The doctors here are basicaly amateurs I doctor shopped the shit out of a lot of docs here and the one doc that actually scolded me and wanted to send me to a psych ward for meds I played the high horse card I was so arrogant I said she has a duty and obligation to proceed as is in my logs file because she was just a subtitute doc untill my own doc was on vacation and she was an older woman and a massive pain in the ass I scolded her like she does not know what she is doing that I was specificaly told not to discontinue alprazolam from one day to another etc etc ...... so she at least let me go and not sectioned me or called the cops :D

Can you please tell me what is this cough and if I am sick or just having PAWS.

THANK YOU ALL LOVE YOU !
 

Deru

Moderator: CEPS
Staff member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
1,509
How long have you been drinking vodka?

The cough would be focused in the upper or lower respiratory tract, and would have nothing to do with withdrawal symptoms.

Your immune system could be lowered and exposing your body to toxins normally defended against.
 

The Axe

Bluelighter
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
414
Walking pnemonia? Maybe take a course of antibiotics. Not a medical doctor, just sounds familiar.
 

newbiecodone

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2012
Messages
104
Location
in a country with the shitiest meds available
I am actually a very healthy persone besides my opiate dependecy issues I actually was thinking at one point that opiates and opioids since they are also non toxic except a few shit ones like trams but that is not even on my radar as an opiate it fucks with your Serotonin levels so that is the end from my point of view I dont like to fuck up my Serotonin levels period thats why I really dont like stims but ocassionally I have been known to mainline a nice fat line of pure crystal and just exhale the dragon as we call it in our home town :D back to my point ( sorry ) I was not drinking anything since saturday and that was like 4 deciliters of vine which is like a bigger tea cup in EU. Yesterday I actually draw the bottle out there could have been like half a pint sorry I just never know US metric systems or is it imperial metric system I know it was mentioned in pulp fiction I did not drink because if I felt like shit I either shot up some Ketamine which is I think almost harmless and I have a lot of weed becauswe here in this country where I work its brutaly cheap and you can smell weed smoke like everywhere every pub has a grinder and stuff but we are not in amsterdam its not legal its just a grey zone where you can smoke but not sell or grow more than 2 flowers per ID card its decriminalized I think its the correct term so I smoked yesterday evening but the cough just fucked me up bad almost threw up and I dont think I can have pneumonia and not have any imune system reactions like a high temperature plus pneumonia is more a wet cough this is literally like a cough from my head like I do not need to cough up some bile but if I dont have alcohol or benzos or jerk off or work out I generally start having the fucking cough arround night time first wave arround 20:00 and the worst wave is arround 4 am when I just fucking wake up and slowly start to cough more and more and more until I am just without breath I need time to catch my breath I will go to the doc if this will be the only symptom of my remaining opiate WDs but even if I jumped from 2mgs of bupe its been a month and 2 days this is the third I am not coughing but I actually bought a bit of vodka original Finish good stuff and this scares me because I was never a alcohol entusiast I just precieved it as a boring state of mind plus neurotoxic if drunk and the hangovers got worst even from beers I remember 5 years aggo I never had hangovers like nowadays and I am not even 30 yet. So last question should I see my general practioner about t his cough and tell them about the maintenance because as I mentioned theese University fucks dont know anything about anything and they call them selves doctors the anesteziologist at the hospital did not know that naloxone es used to negate opioids\opiates from opiate receptors I tried to explain to the fuck its not about getting me pain meds post operation but I should not take it before operation because of the bupe and naloxone has so high affinity to the receptors but they gave some good shit I almost said its good but then I fell asleep woke up in what I precieved like 5 mins with a fucking pain in my hand so bad I was trembling and they did not want to give me anything normal for pain except infusions and injections of diclofenac and paracetamol IVs .... crazy the first night I almost broke the fucking hospital bad thats how bad were the RLS syndromes.
 

newbiecodone

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2012
Messages
104
Location
in a country with the shitiest meds available
guys I just had a bad fit of cough :( I dont know if its this god forsaken flat and the particles in it it came with this old roll out couche which is the "bed" I vacum it regularily but I am not really the cleanest of us not since the physical symptomes went away I manage to study as home offiice asignment which is positive because i would fucking die in the office nowadays but I cant live like this Iam not fucking sick :( and I am really afraid to go to the doctors with cough symptomes specially now if you just clear your throat everybody asumes you have fucking ebola ....
 

newbiecodone

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2012
Messages
104
Location
in a country with the shitiest meds available
ok this is my last post I just got a lot of hydromorphone even in SR form it is 30 16 mg pills I injested a few on top of the vodka so I just want to say goodbye you allways got me the right info and made me stay safe with all theese drugs and it is possible this is my own choice and many events led up to it I just cannot take this pain of life anymore its just pain pain pain pain nothing else you get a promotion you do your diploma you are successfull but the good feeling lasts only a day or so and than its again just pain so fuck this I am out hope the civilization lives through this fucking COVID and than hopefully we build a base on moon to shoot rockets to mars :) that would make me happy ok everybody I am going to wait and hopefully die in piece and not as I lived. Bye Bye Tommy from European Union out.
 

totach

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Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
905
Location
newyork
Maybe you should get back on the bupe . Seems like your suffering from terrible physiological paws . It can be brutal. To go from your first post in the thread where you seem pretty calm and collected to your last post is quite a jump. These are tough times for evreyone let alone addicts . Hope you realize how much you have going for you and find the will to continue on your journey.
 

TheInvisibleStoner

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
332
Location
USA
No dude come back. I am in the same spot as you. This country sucks, nobody can help us, we do good in school, get good jobs only for drugs to pull us down. I know. Try smoking some weed to lift your spirits up and change your thought process.

You may indeed need to get back on the subs for a short while to rid yourself of those other drugs. That is why I always complain when I see people listing drugs for people to take when in opiate withdrawal. Best way is to just quit. There is no free way out. And we only make it worse by adding things.

Try not to drink also. Alcohol actually makes it worse as it wears off. If you do make sure you are drinking TONS of water.

The problem is if you end up with more dependencies at this time. Your next withdrawal will be harder to untangle.

Also you don't have covid. What is your temperature? Get a test to be certain if you are concerned. Opiates suppress the lungs so you probably had a cough all along, but it never activated. Once off the opiates your whole body inflames. And lung function ramps up. Its coughing out all the crap you put inside you is all.
 

iLoveYouWithaKnife

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 30, 2002
Messages
7,935
[coughing has] nothing to do with withdrawal symptoms.
Before I was addicted to Fentanyl, and before heroin, there was the infamous 30mg Roxie’s.
Obviously we know that each of these provide the same basic withdrawal symptoms but some more pronounced than others. For instance, the aches I would get in my joints and bones was way more pronounced than with heroin, the initially water eyes and excessive yawning would start before anything else with the pills. With heroin, the cold sweats and sneezing, and bathroom problems would start with heroin. With fentanyl, it’s getting extremely agitated and anxiety-ridden and the throw up feeling, and excessive sweating starts....
I guess basically what I’m saying is it’s all the same but different... anyway- with the pills- a dry cough was also one of my WD symptoms that I never got with any other opiates.
It’s kind of a stretch to say that coughing is NOT one of the WD symptoms... no? I mean, I myself have experienced it.
 
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