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Dating sucks

Flower Fairy

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
1,333
No offense but just because he was away "in the chookie" doesnt make him a bad guy
My brother set me up with an inmate when I was 16, he was writing me love letters all the time for months, he then used me for sex when he got out, had obviously strung me along saying all these lovely things

Then ended it with me not long after after shagging me

Funny thing is my brother was inside with a few years later and this same inmate asks if I'd write to him again ad my brother said no chance

So I think I've been put off thats all, I didn't men to offend ex prisoners, I was just treated badly as a 16 year old girl by one and if I dated one my sons dad would go ape shit
 

Coffeeshroom

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
1,612
Location
sunny South Africa
@Flower Fairy reason i said i like meeting woman in a natural enviroment where they dont have to face paint themselves and do all these things to feel excepted and wanted or needed. I myself walk around in shorts, a vest and all stars. with all my tattoos visible and i really dont look like the catch of the year but if they except me for y rough exterior and me for theres then there is hope for something more then a superficial relationship.

I want to be excepted for who i am and thin woman want the same too. So when two such people can meet i think it will be a great relatinship
 
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
1,666
Location
Ohio
@Flower Fairy reason i said i like meeting woman in a natural enviroment where they dont have to face paint themselves and do all these things to feel excepted and wanted or needed. I myself walk around in shorts, a vest and all stars. with all my tattoos visible and i really dont look like the catch of the year but if they except me for y rough exterior and me for theres then there is hope for something more then a superficial relationship.

I want to be excepted for who i am and thin woman want the same too. So when two such people can meet i think it will be a great relatinship
You got tattoos? I’m telling @Captain.Heroin, he is going to nut his shorts.
 

dopamimetic

Moderator: N&PD
Staff member
Joined
Mar 21, 2013
Messages
2,017
Location
abyss of sobriety
People who cover themselves behind loads of fashion tend to be complicated and problematic characters. This applies both to silicone girls (oh I love thin women btw, but it's not a must. Being comfortable in his/her own body wins) as well as overly exercised guys or those driving Porsche and such. It's a pandemia.
 

Coffeeshroom

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
1,612
Location
sunny South Africa
How do you meet them exactly - do you just strike up a conversation with women you like the look of? What kind of environments do you do that in?
Enviroment? um Any day enviroments, like i said malls and grocery shops or even just a petrol station. you will be surprised what a compliment or offer for help can do to get you in the game so to speak.
 

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
1,050
Enviroment? um Any day enviroments, like i said malls and grocery shops or even just a petrol station. you will be surprised what a compliment or offer for help can do to get you in the game so to speak.
I don’t have any problem talking to strangers once the conversation has started but I could never break the ice with a random stranger in public by complimenting them - it would seem like too obvious a come on. However, I see how it can work for people with the confidence to just step up. I believe just smiling at people is also a good start.

I guess in the current climate I’m afraid of being thought creepy.
 

G_Chem

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
2,152
First off dopamimetic I’m mostly hetero but your an attractive dude..

After reading your posts a few things stand out. You seem to use substances to battle loneliness, which obviously only inevitably creates more loneliness. The drugs you are attracted towards, opiates and dissos, are the last things you wanna be doing to become more social and confident.

I’m not judging, I was there too man. Used opiates for years growing up cuz I felt I wasn’t worthy of any female attention, even though I had zero problem getting girls. It was all in my head.

I know you don’t look fondly on those that are ripped jock types, but you don’t have to be that and be fit/athletic looking. I stopped working out at gyms and got weights and equipment at home, so I didn’t have to deal with roided out fuckheads.

Exercise will have a multifaceted effect where you look better, women check you out more, confidence builds, neurotransmitters get flowing in a more normalized fashion, and so on.

Don’t go for the Internet either, you seem like someone that would bond over genuine interactions that elicit true emotion. Something real. Nothing about the fake back n forth of internet dating sounds like you.

Hobbies or interests is where you’ll find that person. Get into volunteer work, any volunteer work. Or once this Covid thing is done just get out there anywhere.

In my opinion you’re your own worst enemy, and you have to find a way to feel valuable in your own eyes so that you then have confidence that you’ll be valuable in someone else’s eyes too.

-GC
 

FuneralFather

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
1,816
Did it again, installed Tinder & co in a manic high to check whether my theories are correct and my use of drugs to suppress/kill feelings of lonelyness and insufficience is legitimated or not.

Result, yes it is.

Happened to stay in Mexico recently, there I got a crazy result of over 20 matches within 2 days and many of them actually responsed or even initiated a chat. But I had other problems, it was just an experiment out of curiousity which I assumed to fail.

Now in Amsterdam, whole 3 matches in 2 days. Just one of them wrote back, asked for my number but now radio silence.

In CH I made similar experiences. Some rare dates with foreigners, never locals.

Superficialities yeah. Here in Europe I am just average or individually dependent, below average (left the 20s behind, people estimate me to be younger but I am lazy, no sixpack or 💪). Have long hair which apparently some like and others hate, subjectively I like it on myself but it increases the androgynic touch.

Would rather like to convince people intellectually or through activity but that's not easy for a lone freak like me. People tend to be wary of strangers for a reason.

It sucks. So back to opioids?
Fuck online dating, now in this time and day it’s nice cause of the virus, but my suggestion is go out and meet organically. Do not self medicate. 90% of tinder is self validation for girls with no intentions of meeting the other 5 are sluts fucking every match ( you don’t need that) and the other 5% are fat. I have nothing against heavier sets probably would be better off dating them, but in my experience I only used social media as a platform to meet. Also look at your profiles. Be witty, with something to offer other then looks. I usually use the “I swiped right for your dog” it’s funny, brings the female off her high horse and sometimes allows a challenge to the female.
 
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