I get those weird shadows at the corner of my eyes if on amps between late day 2-4 anywhere between thereThe shadow people will get him before long
I remember being in this state. Clear used to be fun. It used to take my pain away. It made me more likeable. I was spontaneous and I was a bad ass who impressed people because I was so edgy... How long you been using... I felt "Normal" for 2 years into my addiction. But then it became hell. Family has completely cut me off for the most part I only hear from my mom and dad. Some times brother and sister. The rest dont really ever come around. Friends dont want to be near me when I'm using period or they want to love me from afar. I have no friends. All I gave a fuck about is more. You probably dont look normal. I'm sure your face is slightly altered.... Usually starts at the jaws... I've been shooting up for 5 years now. Not proud of it. This last few times it's gotten worse. I've gotten violent and people told me I am intimidating and they fear me. My parents said I've tried to hurt them when I was in psychosis. I ripped off every one. All I did was meth nothing else mattered. I rarely ate. Rarely slept. I was always alone and scared of something. I stopped going out period only time was to get.... The worst part is the high horse for me. When I think I'm a bad ass and do some stupid shit to the wrong people... Or assault my dad... I became suicidal every night if I didn't have meth. I cried for it. I fucked strangers for it. I got so many close peoples on the needle which ruined them. I shot up so much I would have panic attacks and get sick. I missed veins because I wanted to get high now. I stopped being able to work or function. Been to rehab 4 times since I was 18. I'm 23... Just recently had 8 months clean. Relapsed Saturday last week ... Havent been able to stop using at all. Havent eaten at all. Use so much I can't walk because I get to dizzy and it's hard to breath. Just zone out at the walls.. Have been shooting up all day today... Within 2 days it's all gone. I feel the psychotic scary side coming out. I feel desperate. I am apathetic.. I dont care about anything at all. I dont care if I'm hurting... I hate myself. Almost 3 years ago I became ruined because my father and I found a dead woman in our yard.... Who was beaten to death by her boyfriend. I have assault charges from my dad. I have been to detox over and over or the hospital over and over... I'm probably getting kicked out of rehab. Which means gonna have to be with mom and dad again which they dont even want me there.... Or jail for 2 years .. I see it now... Today I realize what kind of an addict I am. I ent playing no games.... I use to oblivion. I'm a slave to meth. Even when I had been clean I still wanted nothing else more. I ent tryna be social or hide it anymore. Every one who knows me knows I use and they stay away. If you havent been using to long. STOP before your soul is gone. Fuck moderation I say... I used every single day when I wanted. I never crashed though... My crash came in the form of psychotic breaks and mental and emotional break downs. But not sleep. I regret using this weekend. I've lost it all. And broke my mom's and dads hearts again.. No bull shit I could be up for a week or so and still be able to function well.. I'm talking being able to still drive a car and other complex shit. Idk. Depends who you are different strokes for different folks. I used to post a lot on here when I was in bad times when I first began using.. Now Heroin made me spacey. Worse case I've had is not being able to remember things that just happened, not being able to recognize peoples places and things, forgetting what i was saying mid sentence.
Oh trust one of them tried to kidnap me brooooo when I first started and then i was like hell nahhh cuhThe shadow people will get him before long
MY BOY! LOL What if I were to tell you that I've seen them since childhoodI get those weird shadows at the corner of my eyes if on amps between late day 2-4 anywhere between there
I firmly believe an all day/night and next day is a sturdy roll on amps but crashing day 2 and sleeping is the way to go and if you really want you can restrt after you sleep but i dont listen to my own smart advice, amps usually take me on a 2-5 day trip but at some point when i really feel that fatigue, its over and there isnt much point fighting it and eating huge doses of stims.
Oh alright basehead.I walk with the shadows. For I only exists in the shadows anymore. What's getting me lately is the "Mind reading shit" oh god. I have to keep telling myself it's all delusions and hallucinations . Only thing that's tried to get me is the reaper. Na them mother fuckers like to move your shit and make you think your going crazy lol. They always stole my driver's licebse, cigarettes, and every thing important... Only for it to suddenly appear after I threw a bitch fit and acted crazy oh helll ba bahahha. While those mother fuckers are over there laughing at me bc they making me lose my shit
day 6 is a bit of a stretch, even I gave up when the option to smoke my way into the 5th day was a possibility. I've never been confronted with the opportunity since. hence, 4 days of wakeful consciousness is more than ample by my watch. i don't even wanna know how irritating i'd be by day 6 of that type of shenanigans. time to exercise caution, this is a serious scenario that could result in decades of burning the midnight oil when bedrest might have been the more beneficial option. the body needs time to rest and repair, and had I my time again I'd have rested at day 2. it's just not worth the threats posed to ones health or otherwise reliable faculties. it sounds great, but it's not actually doing the body any favours in terms of recuperation. the body needs rest and the rejuvenation of a thorough nights' sleep, especially if this bingeing behaviour isn't limited by any means to stop you scoring/obtaining more meth to continue in that fashion. it's more hip to be square, but i'd have rolled my eyes at anyone who tried to prise my pipe out of my hands during my fairly non-noteworthy contribution to overlooking all the so-called hoardes of sheep. I thought I was a firecracker, but still, had no wish to sit out day 5 with no real cause to my wakefulness. the body was physically exhibiting signs of exhaustion. hence, day 6 sounds like a painful predicament if anything. please do not forgo meals etc if you feel unable to stop yourself from periods of abstaining from sleep. energy sources will be craved if not needed to sustain life. ok then. meth doesn't exactly tickle your taste buds (I'm only familiar with smoking in terms of 3-4 days etc). I'd say walk away before it becomes a mainstay. it has a nasty way of trapping even some of the least prospective folk to embark upon that which is too risky over more prolonged periods. meth has produced casualties plural. no good. otherwise, next thing you know, it's called say hi to a family of drugs better known as psych meds. reality is lack of sleep can't be blamed when you're aware of the place it might land you. nice men in white coats is about the only foreseeable way these things end up going in the long run. definitely time to embark on a break and try to do away with the devil's dandruff before you run too far with it. not for the faint hearted!
Your the MAN DUDE!I'm moving this to Culture. If I'm not mistaken OP is simply describing his current physical state while under the influence of Methamphetamine. There's nothing wrong with that, but this is a dedicated Harm-Reduction forum. -> Drug Culture
Are u sure? Seems like they limit the potential of their minds.these two guys are on point.. with any stimulant be it coke, amps, meth..
Sleep deprivation is what will get you all fucky, it can happen after not sleeping one night or 5-6 days but it's gonna happen whether you like it or not, my personal experience with amps and meth is that yeah i still take it when i feel tired HOWEVER when you reach the point where you're feeling fatigued 10-15min after a dose, thats a sign that it should be the last one and it's time to zzzz
^ this knowledge is basically for anyone because alot of people don't realize that fatigue 'feeling tired' has its limits where you can't fight it anymore and if you do it doesn't end well.