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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Coronavirus lockdown

I’m droppin a bag of shopping off tomorrow to an elderly lady who’s struggling to get stuff cuz of the panic buying morons.
Will leaving it on her doorstep be safe or should I wipe things down?
I’ll obviosuy wash my hands first.

Who knows mate. All that anyone can ask is that you do your best. But good on you for helping out the vulnerable... (y)
 
^ disinfect everything- even if your hands are clean you don't know who else has touched the stuff
 
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Someone in the camp made a run for freedom last night and they gunned him down and left his body pinned to the wall as a warning to others.

Strange creatures prowl the perimeter at night.
 
Took the plunge and did a weekly shop earlier. I must say it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The queues outside the supermarkets were quite short and fast moving and the shelves were quite well stocked. In fact, it was fuckin bliss compared to any other normal weekday. No fuckin geriatric twats blocking the aisles with their walking frames and mobility scooters. No-one invading your personal space and people being relatively polite and respectful. The only downside was I happened to choose the self service checkout with the local nutter in front. He had two packets of biscuits but seemingly didn't understand the concept of barcodes as he was just showing them to the machine, frequently turning round to me saying in a loud voice "its fuckin ridiculous innit mate? These things are meant to be convenient aren't they mate?" Then he couldn't work out how to pay...

But the streets and roads were empty. I could get used to this... :D
 
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A cleaning lady I know has lots. From before all this shit started. It was the good stuff too. Is it purell?

Are you sure it's legit? Have you had it tested?

There's lots of fairy liquid and vodka doing the rounds at the moment ya know...


Only messing mate, fair play to you for doing your bit... (y)
 
Are you sure it's legit? Have you had it tested?

There's lots of fairy liquid and vodka doing the rounds at the moment ya know...


Only messing mate, fair play to you for doing your bit... (y)
Ye don’t let it fool ya. How I act on here and how I act irl ain’t the same.
I’d do anything to help someone who deserves it.
Done a little job yesterday for a nurse and when she text for bank details to pay me I said there’s no charge as a thank you for puttin herself at risk.
Was only £25 quid but still.
 
I went out today for my government sanctioned daily stroll. This was in the awesome and breathtaking beauty of a rural park and nature reserve in central Lancashire, when I spotted a group of young whippersnappers sat in a sheep field. They were clearly in flagrant violation of the social distancing rules.
The impulse to shout at them from a safe distance and give them a damn good scolding crossed my mind. I even walked within good huffing distance to enjoy the pungent aroma of the 'Cali Weed' they were imbibing.
It was at this stage that I realised I had transformed into a forty year old, jealous sad case who wished he was 16 again and had friends to interact with.
I also felt somewhat a hypocrite as my essential trip out had not been motivated through the compulsion to exercise. In fact that was an afterthought. I only left home to buy booze. After purchasing a bottle of ASDA's Gin and a bottle of bitter lemon ( only fucking mixer left ) I walked out into the sunshine and walked the long way back through the park hoping to oggle the female dog walkers from a safe, social leching distance.
What have I become?
 
I wouldn't go in the weekend unless carying a NBC suit and disinfecting everything when you get back.

Too many people spitting on shit and too many people about.
 
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I’m about to go to the supermarket. Let’s see how this goes down..

Good luck! After 2 weeks of hoping for food to return to shelves, I finally managed to get a reasonable number of essentials yesterday.

I'm guessing people are beginning to run out of space in their bins to throw all their rotting excess food away, so they're buying less.
 
My wife works in a grocery story in the US and gives me a daily report.

Fresh Produce, Meats and Diary are in good supply, as are canned and dry goods. Some cleaning and paper items are limited stock but on the shelves and limited to one per customer.
 
Seeing the figures escalate all around the globe ( sorry Flat Earthers ) it's really sinking in just how truly momentous and paradigm shifting this pandemic is.
It's hard to see how things will ever return to the world of anal bleaching, gender fluid, cyber swinging, AI Skynet, synthetic digital wasteland spamospheric, space touristic, micro-chipped optic nerved, human cloned, nano-teched, DNA mapped, chaos theoretical determinist and kalaedescopic soapy tit wank of a world we only so recently cherished. I for one took it for granted.
I went for my afternoon walk again today. I fear I maybe succumbing to alcoholism.
I am however proud as out of sheer good conscientious, spirit of the blitz style self sacrifice, I went to the Shell garage instead.
One bottle of Chekov, packet of Tangfastics, Sprite and subtle and dilligently executed contempt received from the staff member via the serving hatch now in the bag I feel much more reassured.
Hold on to those nostalgic items of yester-epoch like Heinz Baked Beans, Bejazzled scrotums and dog shit in small black carrier bags tied to branches of a dying ash tree.
Warmest Regards,
Typical Schiz
 
I'm reduced to having to buy unwanted grocery items with my daily alcohol purchases just to excuse my being in the shop at all. Is alcohol a necessity? To me it is. But would the space police see it that way..?
 
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