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Coping with cravings with oxy in the house

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bulldog99

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Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
14
I'm ten days clean from oxy use and did a cold turkey. It was a ten year habit of about 30 to 60 mg a day. I'd be fine but oxy will always be in the house because my wife gets them for pain but will give them to me if I ask or some times just take them. I've been through 10 withdrawals in the past year and have had enough of this. But sometimes I dream of just taking a dose to feel good. So eventually I give in and take a dose and then start taking what I can get. So i'm clean for two weaks and than get what I can from her for two weeks and go through moderate withdrawals because I do have some comfort meds.

Anyhow need to stop this and deal with the fact they will be in the house for the forseeable future. Any help would be appreciated as they (oxycodone) will be available again this Friday which will be 14 days clean for me. Thanks for reading this.
 
Perhaps tell your wife what you said above? That her giving you some isn’t what is best for the long run.

However, if that puts too much tension on your relationship - I know Amazon sells timed lock safes for meds. Maybe there is one with a key she can keep on her?

Congrats on your clean time! I think only you can be the one to stay away from the pills....but a bottom line agreement that she will not give you any (write it yourself on a piece of paper and she can show it to you when you are craving), as well as some safeguard to make it more difficult to access the pills - while keeping in mind they are for her and staying sober is up to you.

Good luck!
 
my grandma does the same for me I usually give her all my drugs to hold on to for me cus she is organised unlike me if it wasn't for her i probably would go through h withdrawal a lot more from over indulging I do feel a bit ashamed that literalt but that shame quickly goes away after having my daily morning dose with a coffee and ciggarate
 
I cant run out because i give it to som1 to hold on for me and only give me enough sometimes I have to go without for a few hours until I'm allowed my next dose but this has probably saved my life thanks to my gran once again god bless her
 
She keeps the oxy in a lockbox and has a key. At night she hides the key as she doesn't want to sleep with it and I usually find it than. I know its her meds and I need to find a way to distract myself from the urge to take some. I need to find a way to be happy without this poison. I'm using some herbs and supplements to help rebuild health and and hormone levels.
 
bulldog99 said:
She keeps the oxy in a lockbox and has a key. At night she hides the key as she doesn't want to sleep with it and I usually find it than. I know its her meds and I need to find a way to distract myself from the urge to take some. I need to find a way to be happy without this poison. I'm using some herbs and supplements to help rebuild health and and hormone levels.
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hope you succeed mate
 
I just stumbled on this thread. You’re very blessed Ganjcat to have your grandma to give your pills like that. Most people don’t want to play border patrol between you and your pills.
I go through my 30-day prescription in 8-10 days. I am married and my wife could police them for me, but I am too ashamed to ask. Every month I swear Im not going to do it again, but I’m 4 days in to my new script and nothing has changed. Im very handy, so locking them up would not work(I would just break into the safe) Any suggestions?
I considered just pouring my pills down the drain, but I can’t seem to do it. I thought about telling my Dr the truth, but he would cut me off for good and I do actually have real pain from a bunch of screws in my back. I want to ask my wife for help, but she would be really mad at me for getting into so much trouble with the pills (I have enough stress trying to make it through my job every day without getting her angry with me)
I forgot to mention my script is oxy 30’s, instant release, 3 per day. Yesterday I took 11 (2 or 3 at a time) and I felt almost nothing.
 
ive been throug the exact same thing with my wife. safe, keys, finding the keys no matter where she hides them etc. What finally worked was getting a digital combination safe and only she knows the combo. The spare keys are at her office where i have no access to them.
 
I’m on the same thing, thankfully my dose never exceeded 7.5 but still. Day 1. You can’t run away from your wife like I can from my relationship. So your best bet is to be pro active and tell her you’d like for them to be kept with her at all times as well. If she cares for you she won’t enable you. Sadly my relationship has been full of enabling.
 
Squeaky said:
I just stumbled on this thread. You’re very blessed Ganjcat to have your grandma to give your pills like that. Most people don’t want to play border patrol between you and your pills.
I go through my 30-day prescription in 8-10 days. I am married and my wife could police them for me, but I am too ashamed to ask. Every month I swear Im not going to do it again, but I’m 4 days in to my new script and nothing has changed. Im very handy, so locking them up would not work(I would just break into the safe) Any suggestions?
I considered just pouring my pills down the drain, but I can’t seem to do it. I thought about telling my Dr the truth, but he would cut me off for good and I do actually have real pain from a bunch of screws in my back. I want to ask my wife for help, but she would be really mad at me for getting into so much trouble with the pills (I have enough stress trying to make it through my job every day without getting her angry with me)
I forgot to mention my script is oxy 30’s, instant release, 3 per day. Yesterday I took 11 (2 or 3 at a time) and I felt almost nothing.
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Me and my grandma are like mother and son the way she looks after me though you would think I'm the oap yep like I said I probably would be in prison or dead if it wasn't for her plus
 
Two days ago I took 17 oxy 30’s. And today I’m out. This really sucks.
 
Relapsed again on day 14 when a new script of oxy came into the house. I feel a sense of shame for failing again. I like someones suggestion for a lockbox with a combination because I always manage to find the key to the current lockbox. The funny thing is the oxy felt good again after 14 days off but after a few days of taking it I hardly felt anything so its a total waste to start again. I need to do some self cbt and focus on all the negatives of addiction. I really need to focus on my health. If one does get sick during this epidemic only the ones with a good immune system will survive. Well I'm out of oxy and on day 3 of abstinence. Lets see if I can do it this time.
 
Are you making a plan for what you're gonna do the next time there's oxy in the house again? If you don't you're likely just going to keep finding yourself in the same predicament.
 
My new plan is that I told my wife I want off the pills. I didn’t come clean about exactly how much I was using but at least she knows there is a problem and I want to fix it. That was the biggest hurdle for me- admitting something wasn’t right. Hopefully with my next script I can give the bottle to her without fear of being shamed for the problem. The plan for about a year now has been to have her hide them from me for a month or two and really get away from them for a while.
I recognize that an addict will always find an excuse to go back to their addiction until they see that they can never go back at all. I also recognize that I have pretty severe and legitimate pain from the screws in my back. Somehow in the middle of this mess I’m going to have to find a way to live in pain and only use the pills occasionally, and even then I’ll need supervision.
Imagine if I didn’t run out of pills for a couple of months. If I stockpiled let’s say 6 months of oxy 30’s. That would be over 500 pills. At 15/day I could do that for more than a month and THEN I would run out. The withdrawals from almost 1/2 gram per day of oxycodone for more than a month would be the most miserable experience imaginable!
 
My game plan is I have to be more committed to abstinence. Yes they will be in the house in a couple weeks. But this two weeks on oxy and feeling good than two weeks off and going into withdrawal really sucks and has to be hard on the body. So I have to do some self cbt and how the negatives outweight the pros of this situation.

Can't swear I'll be successful but I can only give it another shot. To be honest with being home and quaranteed except going out food shopping I do think about these pills and a nice cup of coffee. Cant drink coffee when in withdrawal as it makes things worse. I wish this crap wasnt in the house as I dont have pill connections and I would have no problem with abstinence.

I guess ex alcoholics have to deal with this as alcohol is everywhere and you can just go into a store and buy it. Can you imagine if there were oxy stores and you had to deal with that. I guess I just have to decide how committed I am to being abstinent and deal with it being in the house. Should be able to look at the pills and just be turned off. Every night my wife and I go upstairs and I have to open the lock box and give out her next days dose and than lock up the box and give her the keys. I do this because she has problems with her hands. So you see this is difficult for me. Because she shares her pills with me when I ask for some she runs out in two weeks. She on an antidepressant and doesn't seem to go into withdrawal. 100 mg of pristiq. Still she does get pissed at me for running short.
Sorry for rambling on.
 
just picked up a 20 bag of banging smack but its not gonna last cant exactly give them to someone
hold a 20 wont last me shit I just ain't got self control and beleive me I get a lot more than I should for 20 but I am sick of living like this so I have decided (for the hundredth) time to have one more day high as a kite and when I wake up tommirow that's it no drugs not even sugar or tobbacco (unless I want a spliff) I have felt so sick from this drug before that I seriously considered quitting then I am a lot more prepared mentally and physically most of it is in your head anyway just gotta find something to oqquipy yourself
 
Ganjcat said:
just picked up a 20 bag of banging smack but its not gonna last cant exactly give them to someone
hold a 20 wont last me shit I just ain't got self control and beleive me I get a lot more than I should for 20 but I am sick of living like this so I have decided (for the hundredth) time to have one more day high as a kite and when I wake up tommirow that's it no drugs not even sugar or tobbacco (unless I want a spliff) I have felt so sick from this drug before that I seriously considered quitting then I am a lot more prepared mentally and physically most of it is in your head anyway just gotta find something to oqquipy yourself
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I have waited from 7 am to 6pm for this 20 and I have still not touched it(I'm about to though now the excitments gone)the excitement ruins the high I for the first time in my life instead of running upstairs to smoke it and usually all of it if its a 20(over the day and night) I have after picking up just took my coat off sat down and watched hollyoaks with my grandma their was almost no wd anxiety because i know I had it I know my grandma must have thought id already had some because i was fidgeting and shaking like a willow leaf anyway just wanted to say that I only come on here when I'm in stock btw if I'm broke and got no drugs I have no motivation to post or socialise online or offline most of the time except maybe family this is why I know I'm gonna get off this shit.. That I'm literalt about to smoke after fantisizing all day and literaly seeing a little thick matchhead of shatter perfectly being chased on foil I could taste and smell the consistant smoke and here I am all possible, pathetic desires and pleasures I could want and you know what life is under rated this stuff is over rated I'm not saying anymore stay safe everyone remember to wear your mask and stay strong out there
 
There's a good site for inspiration on the internet thats run by Matt Finch who an ex heroin user. He's been eight years clean. You need to make a decision that I'm finished with opiates or other drugs. Your mind has to say no more drugs and thats it. But it has to be a decision where your at a point where your finished with the drug life style. You need to find other things that turn you on that will take the place of drugs. Your mind needs a replacement or you will relapse. It can be working out or painting or whatever you can get into to. For me opiates have filled a void in my life and I need to find something to fill that void.
 
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