Harm Reduction Controlling use of amphetamines and tolerance questions

[Zephyn]

So, this is probably my addiction speaking, and trying to justify. This might be a horrible idea in the long term. But I've been suffering from mental health issues my entire life, and was diagnosed as adhd as a child. I fit all the symptoms, including impulsively that has nearly killed me, self medicating, focus issues. I am unable to clean up after myself, do trash, dishes, etc. I procrastinate even simple tasks like drinking water. I've become kind of antisocial as well, though that might be depression. Fact of the matter is, I function way better on amphetamines, like I'm a normal person. Meth burned out my receptors so I'm not very sensitive to dextroamphetamine anymore. For example, today I took 60mg plus a 15mg insuffulated booster, and im not high at all. However, I am spontaneously functional. My problem is, im also an addict. I think I could get by fine taking 60mg once a day, and really make my quality of life better. Thing is, when I have it, for every time throughout my entire life, I binge. This has led me to asking my doctor to only prescribe 5 15mg tabs, which I took all at once for the 60mg. I can control it this way, when I don't have it. But if I had 60, its hard to not use it until the point of near overdose or psychosis. Does anyone have any pointers for forcing themselves to learn not to abuse their medication? Is it possible for me? There's a chance I have bipolar (I've been misdiagnosed with it due to amphetamine psychosis in the past when using meth) and therapeutic doses (which 60mg is pushing the upper limits of that) trigger a mania which makes me reckless. In this case i don't think it would be possible. But if its just addiction, maybe I can learn to control it somehow. I mean, unless I have a learning disability and can't comprehend for some reason that escalating my dose = inpatient in the hospital. To be clear, I don't really get any side effects at all from thisdosage, or euphoria, just feel like a normal functional human.

Also, I've never used stimulants daily medicinally, only occasional binge use. How does tolerance set in here? If right now 60mg is a good medicinal dose for me, how long would that be effective before tolerance makes it useless?

Thanks

 

[Jabberwocky]

All I can say is that I have been a heavy stimulant abuser for 30 years on and off and I have sky high tolerance. Such that if I’m on a meth bender I consume a gram a day, want more, eat like a horse, and still sleep. I also have bipolar and ADHD diagnosed as an adult.

My psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD firmly believes that people with genuine ADHD who are put on stimulants frequently lose interest in any other kind of mind altering substance. In my case I was a heavy drinker before my ADHD diagnosis but stopped drinking almost as soon as he put me on dexamfetamine. He cites many patients who have given up caffeine and nicotine as well as hard drugs once they are properly medicated for ADHD. Again in my case, I found this applies to cocaine for me (can’t stand it anymore) but sadly not meth.

As for tolerance, he also says that people with genuine ADHD simply do not get tolerant to stimulants as far as getting relief from their ADHYD symptoms go. My experience agrees with this. I took 30 mg dexamfetamine daily for 4 years and it worked just as well on the last day as the first day. I also never developed cravings for it and never even really wanted to take more than my prescribed dose despite being a stim addict several times over the years. I think the mechanism of action for relieving ADHD is different to the get high and party mechanism of action and not prone to tolerance.