Coming off oxycodone and small H habit

[Bropiace]

Now you talk like a man. And you are right, buy those test and make sure you don't fuck up your chances.

As for the link I think you might like it. The guy convers a large spectrum. From training to meditation, from sex techniques to pick up artist tips and tricks and much more. Very useful info and most of all, just common sens and practical experimented advices.

Anyway I am glad that you used to train and want to get back at it. The single most effective thing I ever did to get a better life quality. My drug use also got in the way but I got vack at it and am glad I did.

Good luck bro.

 

[Dogma123]

Yea I'm trying to make myself work out but I pretty much am Doing that when I work. Are you clean now or how are you doing ?

I'm doing fine I guess. Today's not too bad, last night was really emotional for a little bit. I haven't really felt emotions in a long time nor have I cried in a while but I sure as hell did.

I only have 5 more hours of work and I'm off tommrow so I'm happy about that. It's been like 40 hours since I used the last bit and I can handle food down fine so i think I'll be ok. This morning when I first woke up was rough with cramps and a little dirreahea but I expected it to be a little worse than it is.

 

[Bropiace]

It hapenned to me too, going through a withdrawal that was way easier than expected. It s a rare thing but it does happen. Good luck and keep working on it !!


Its great you get to exercise at work. It helps. If you ever want to talk about how you feel this is a great place to do it. Or you you prefer pm me, by all means. I remember you said you would pm your story if anyone was interested but did not feel like doing it on the board. I wouls definitely ve interested if that is something you would like to do.

As for myself I came off from 680 mg of Oxy a day to 20 mg of Dilaudid in the last 6 months or so. Grinding the diminution slowly but surely. I ve been off for a few days in between. Best I did was 9 days but PAWS was killing me, I was not yet functional and needed to pack up my shit cause I was moving. At that point I was at 80 mg of Oxy a day. I opted to get back at the tapering thing in the hope that next time, the daily dose being lower the PAWS will be easier. Still getting progress but the smallest decrease are the hardest it seems.

Anyway you haven't post in a while are you ok ? How is it working out for you ?

 

[Dogma123]

I'm doing good man thanks and I will pm you In a little while. It's been 4 days with no opiates and I finally have semi hard stool lol, too much info I know but dirreahea was kinda rough.

That's a lot of damn Oxy man. I couldn't imagine that. I would say I would have gotten higher in dosage but I only had Percocets and in my living situation couldn't really CWE all the time. That would be awkward to explain to your grandma.

Anyways I'm doing good but I get paid in two days and I keep thinking about when's the next time I can use without being sick... That thinking is dangerous but it's always in the back of my mind.

I'm hoping I'm not going to use again before I leave for the navy but we will see. I haven't been smoking weed either so that's good.

I hope everyone's doing good and thinking positive. I'm watching Trailer Park Boys and I can laugh some so that's good. I suggest everyone check out " Winnabago Man". YouTube or Netflix. I watch it when I'm sad or whatever and it always makes my day better. Postive thoughts everyone

 

[Dogma123]

Tommrow morning will be 6 or 7 days opiate free but still not opioid free. I haven't done any "real" opiates but I've still been Doing Kratom everyday but the past 3 days I've dosed twice in a day but I usually would never do that.. I'm starting to think I fucked up my back seriously because of bad posture from being high on Oxy all the time and pain free...

I know right.. It's a catch 22. I can't shake the thought of getting high either. I'm not going to lie I tried to get high today but no luck. I've been fine except the past 2 days. I'll think about getting high and it kinda makes me start thinking all guilty and then I get kinda sad. I have to stop this cycle it's so fucking nerve racking.

I'm going to run out of Kratom in proably two days so that's gonna be fun. I haven't hung out with anyone in a week because I've either been working or laying in bed all day watching tv. I was thinking about ordering poppy pods but that's a horrible idea..

I know what I need to do I just haven't done anything to help myself. I don't want to be on anything but I just got my check today and it's so hard not to order something. I was going to get a gram or two of blow tonight but not anymore . I have all this money and the addict in me wants to spend half of it and I wouldn't even think too hard about it . I just have not had a good afternoon. I haven't been smoking weed but I vaped a .1 yesterday.

I'm just venting really. I don't mean to make excuses for myself. I have to do some kind of workout tonight, I've just been lazy the past week. All of this negative thinking is bad and I'm trying to force myself to stay postive.

 

[Dogma123]

I'll be fine I'm not going to get high. It's a lost cause. I don't have any way at all to get real opiates or H anymore and I think that's one reason why I've felt so hopeless. That should make me happy that I can't but.. I'm trying to stay postive

Off topic but how do I PM another member? Is it because I'm still a greenlighter? I just can't find the button.

 

[Bropiace]

You know, the way I see it (and take it with a grain of salt, after all I am just a guy on the internet) it seems to me that your need to use is mostly psychological.

Yet again who's isn't but what I really mean by that is that it seems to me that your situation, whatever it is exactly in it, is uncomfortable or boring or both enough to push you to think about using.

There are a few things I want to say about that.

1st, spending some time to figure what is it exactly that makes you THAT unhappy that you constantly think of using. I have to add, if anything else only to be honest with myself, that I always felt there was a lot of crap in the generalized idea that you use because your life is shitty or that you have unresolved issues or whatever. Sometimes you just enjoy getting high and that's that. That being said (See how many "that" I can out in a row ? lol ) my guts tell me that in your case it is more of the first and less of the ladder. So maybe it wouldn't a futile excercise for you to really, deeply think about what is it that push you to use even when you know you shouldn't. Who knows, you might figure out some area that you can improve and end up struggling less.

Now, IF you find yourself you are losing the fight against using, you should definetly consider using something else than opiate. I am not sure what could pass the screen test for when you go in the NAVY but I am confident opiate won't, not mentionning opiate addiction is a real bitch.

Anyway, good luck bro.

 

[Dogma123]

Yea it is pretty much all mental. I guess just from taking something pretty much everyday for the past few years has really messed with my natural reward circuits in my brain. I figure if I can abstain from all substances for a few months at the very least to a year or two I could reset it.

I'm about To go hangout with friends that don't use my DOC so I think I'll get some good out of that. I think harmones play a role in this too since I'm still so young. I'm only 18 so that probaly doesn't help. Anyways thanks for the fast reply man. I think all I really needed was for someone to tell me that " getting high isn't the right thing" because no dealer of mine is going to say that lol.

Ive been trying to Pm you but I can't figure out how

 

[Dogma123]

Update: I'm feeling a lot better after hanging out with my friends just talking and bullshitting. It put things in a different perspective. I'm going to start hanging out with them a lot more.

I feel tons better. It's all a mental for me and I know I can beat it. This is the best forum I've ever joined. So much good support. I love all you guys. Be good everybody

 

[oxygirlinct]

This post sounds so much like something I would have said a few years ago. I made the terrible choice to a. start suboxone and b. still occasionally use heroin and whatever pills I could get my hands on when I stopped taking my meds for a few weeks.

PLEASE JUST STOP WHERE YOU ARE. I know that's not what you want to do or what you want to hear but I SO BADLY wish I had stopped when I was at the point you're at. Honestly, if you keep going, you won't get high anymore...it becomes a struggle just to stay functional every day. It has taken over my life.

I was always one who just popped a few 5 or 10 mg oxycodones at night a few nights a week...then I got my hands on a huge bottle and it was every day. Flash forward and I've found a connect for 30's...next thing you know unless I want to max out all my credit cards, heroin is literally the only option...and let me tell you, (some may argue this point) doing anything with heroin other than slamming it is a waste. This is coming from someone who has put more heroin up her nose than probably anyone you know just for fear of becoming like her friends shooting up in the backseat....

Just please, please try. If you need to talk I'm here, these other fine people are here, we are all in this together. It's so important to have support; I've felt alone for the past 10+ years and opiates were my only friend, my only happiness. We have to find other happiness.

I really wish you well. Seriously, message me if you want to.

 

[Bropiace]

Hey bro you are right, it is all in the head and I think it is even a bit truer in your case. I am so glad to hear you spent some time with friends and that got you to feel better. Those are the thing you need to chase, the one that makes you feel like this. Really, try do different stuff and stick with the ones that helps you.

As for your young age, I think it is actually playing in your favor, my guess is you will recover faster because of that. But you might make poorer choices which is why you need to be careful now.

I'll try to PM, see if that works, than you can reply.

@oxygirlinct very kind testimony. Have you beat this ? Are you sober now ?

 

[Dogma123]

I'm feeling so postive this morning and it started last night. I feel like I had a moment of clarity and it really got to me. I'm in a great mood and what do you know when I woke up this morning I saw that 2 of my ex gf's texted me to see how I was doing.

I'm making my grandma happy and less stressed out by being pretty much sober and talking to her and stuff like that. I feel so good. I just am kinda thinking about the navy. If I should go or just go in the reserves and start going to college now and getting a better job and just slowly but surely becoming a better person.

Thank you guys so much for helping me. It will not be a lost cause. I'm going to get through this and when I'm where I want to be I'll come back to this thread to update. I'll still update daily now I just mean in the next few years.

The World is Yours- from scarface keeps coming up in my thoughts and it's making me a lot more positive. I'm having a good time at work talking to my coworkers and really just coming out of my shell. Thank you guys for real

 

[Cliffy78]

Dogma, wasssup bro? Sry I was offline for a few dealing with personal bullshit. Good to see u chillin with ur people's and having a good time. Ur always gonna have that itch to use man, that's just part of life now but it'll get easier to ignore it the more u ignore it if that makes any sense? Lol. So the service or college, that's the question eh ? Shit man idk, joining the service seems like it would help u out a bit more than school would at the moment, help u get some clean time behind u. Either way though u can't lose, as long as u can still dream that the world is yours then then the world IS yours. Keep updating us bro, ttyl

 

[Dogma123]

What's up cliffy, I've been good. A lot better since I've hung out with my close friends again. They were wondering where I was cause I went ghost for like 2 weeks cause I thought the WD would be horrible.

I just keep thinking about if I join the service and WW3 starts then shit wouldn't be fun anymore. I want to so I can get to a new environment but I'm not sure.

How have you been man?

 

[Cliffy78]

I've been wicked stressed bro but I went to the dr today and shit was all good, got my script so I'm a happy camper lol.
I know what u mean about ww3 breaking out, lol. When I went to sign up it was august 01 right before 9-11, I'm kinda glad the dude never showed up at my house cause I'd probably be dead. But I kinda wonder wha could've been if dude did show up u know? Oh well it is what it is. Do u have money for college bro? Like what's ur plan if u choose to go down that path?

 

[Dogma123]

See I was thinking of just joining the reserves and that would pay for me college but then the point of WW3 comes up again.. I just really don't wanna kill anybody and in that situation I might have to.

So either I'm joining the reserves or active duty. Those are my only real options right now. No money for college so..

 

[Cliffy78]

There's a lot of grants and shit like that that can help you out with all kinds of shit. I know some people who actually came out ahead because they were really good about signing up for every little thing and actually made a little money! I thought that was crazy lol. If u can navigate the system u can probably go to school for free.

 

[Dogma123]

I'll have to check into the grant thing. I think that could help a lot. I'm just torn between if I should leave or not.

I don't really have too many close friends here anymore. My absolute best friend that I would die for is leaving next week to the navy so idk.

I wish life had a guide or something lol. There's no point in life and it pisses me off lol. I really want to explore the world with the navy I just am so worried about a war happening soon. I feel like one will be started in the next few years.. I jus really don't wanna die by drowning after my ship sinks lol

 

[Cliffy78]

I don't see a real big, ww3 type war coming anytime soon. Maybe we go fuck around with Isis but that's about it I think. We're not fucking with Putin or China so I think your safe on that front. If u wanna do it then u gotta do it bro. You'll regret it for the rest of your life and u don't want regrets, that's the shit that keeps u up at night.

 

[namnoc16]

When I was growing up we were going to have nuclear war with Russia(never happened) and then the world was gonna end in the year 2000. Well 2000 came and never happened then it was 2012 and well now it's the year is 2015 and here we are. My thing is if you make your decisions based on what if's then you paralyse yourself and life won't mean anything. Don't make your decision based on a hypothetical because when the impending disaster in your mind never happens you'll be 40 saying ,man did I waste my life worrying over nothing.