Exhausted Cold turkey 50+g/day Kratom habit with oxy...

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

Hiya, thanks for visiting. Sigh, I’ll summarize where I’m at right now and will see if anyone can give advice.

I’ve been a LONG TIME substance abuser (am only now admitting that to myself), with 10+ years of heavy drinking which I stopped ~3 years ago (yay!). During that time I dabbled quite a bit in opiate use- well, let’s face it I did a lot but then the supply dried out and I didn’t want to take a chance to find a new hookup. Was sober about a year and actually doing well, then dumbly found a bag of poppy seeds from god knows when, and got on PST for about a year (then the supply kinda dried up - thank god).
After stopping that I started on Kratom, have used it daily for about 2-3 years, and during that time randomly discovered dxm. I did that daily with the Kratom for over a year, and am now trying to stop that, and the Kratom. My habit is BAD, I take handfuls of the stuff and think I’m likely at 50+ grams per day (likely more), even though I’m pretty sure it’s dampering my natural personality (kinda hard to explain), Including my quick wit, happiness and well let’s face it any other feeling period. I have anxiety, and think it makes it worse and of course brings its buddy depression.
So, now. I am currently taking oxy for an injury - shocked I still have any at all, and proud I’ve managed those cravings enough to save some pills for times like this - and want to see if I can just go CT on the Kratom while I’m on it. I know it won’t help with paws or other side effects that come later, but maybe I can get through the physical withdrawals this way. Having stopped dxm, I’ve been a bit down so i don’t expect a huge change (plus let’s face it, things are kinda shit right now).
thoughts? Is this a way out? I know I might find another thing to get hooked on and have some sort of aversion or fear of being sober which I just don’t understand, does anyone else have this end maybe can shed some light on what the duck is going on?
Feels good to write this down at least. Thanks for reading.

 

[deficiT]

Hiya, thanks for visiting. Sigh, I’ll summarize where I’m at right now and will see if anyone can give advice.

I’ve been a LONG TIME substance abuser (am only now admitting that to myself), with 10+ years of heavy drinking which I stopped ~3 years ago (yay!). During that time I dabbled quite a bit in opiate use- well, let’s face it I did a lot but then the supply dried out and I didn’t want to take a chance to find a new hookup. Was sober about a year and actually doing well, then dumbly found a bag of poppy seeds from god knows when, and got on PST for about a year (then the supply kinda dried up - thank god).
After stopping that I started on Kratom, have used it daily for about 2-3 years, and during that time randomly discovered dxm. I did that daily with the Kratom for over a year, and am now trying to stop that, and the Kratom. My habit is BAD, I take handfuls of the stuff and think I’m likely at 50+ grams per day (likely more), even though I’m pretty sure it’s dampering my natural personality (kinda hard to explain), Including my quick wit, happiness and well let’s face it any other feeling period. I have anxiety, and think it makes it worse and of course brings its buddy depression.
So, now. I am currently taking oxy for an injury - shocked I still have any at all, and proud I’ve managed those cravings enough to save some pills for times like this - and want to see if I can just go CT on the Kratom while I’m on it. I know it won’t help with paws or other side effects that come later, but maybe I can get through the physical withdrawals this way. Having stopped dxm, I’ve been a bit down so i don’t expect a huge change (plus let’s face it, things are kinda shit right now).
thoughts? Is this a way out? I know I might find another thing to get hooked on and have some sort of aversion or fear of being sober which I just don’t understand, does anyone else have this end maybe can shed some light on what the duck is going on?
Feels good to write this down at least. Thanks for reading.

Well you're right it is good to just get your thoughts out there and express your problem. And congrats on no alcohol.

I had used kratom daily for ~6 years or so. The only thing I've been able to get off of it with has been buprenorphine. Which honestly isn't the best idea, but it has worked for me and I plan on staying on bupe for awhile. But I'm going into it knowing I'll have to deal with withdrawal from that in the future.

If I were you I would avoid going cold turkey on a 50g a day habit. It's gonna be miserable likely. Just allocate a certain amount of kratom each day and decrease it by a few grams every day or every couple of days, whatever is comfortable for you.

A lot of people cause themselves unnecessary pain by going off of things cold turkey. I personally think it's silly. If you have the possibility to taper something it's better to do that. We have a tapering thread in this forum and there's likely others that have gotten off kratom around here.

But I can understand why you'd want to get off of it. I think it was affecting me worse than I had thought it was. Best of luck to you.

 

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

A lot of people cause themselves unnecessary pain by going off of things cold turkey. I personally think it's silly. If you have the possibility to taper something it's better to do that. We have a tapering thread in this forum and there's likely others that have gotten off kratom around here.

But I can understand why you'd want to get off of it. I think it was affecting me worse than I had thought it was. Best of luck to you.

I know CT is dumb, but I’ve been trying to taper for 6 months and can’t seem to get down to a reasonable level to jump off... best I’ve done is 30g a day or so.
And it’s true, it is affecting me in more ways than I know... I’m also just taking handfuls of this shit to feel better and surprise surprise it makes me feel worse - and I know it but can’t seem to control it.
which is why I wanted to see how far I could go while taking oxy. My logic is that they’re the same receptor sites so it’ll be an easier acute withdrawal...
We will see, I haven’t had any for 10 hours and I don’t feel that bad and am just going to see how long I’m able to stay off it....

 

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

Well I made it almost exactly 14 hours before I took some. It’s always the rls at night that gets me, I toss and turn all night waking up constantly and wishing someone would cut my arm off.
That said I didn’t do too bad, that’s the longest I’ve gone without Kratom in years.
Tomorrow I’ll try again, and see how long I can go with nothing - hopefully but unlikely this will be my last dose tonight.

 

[deficiT]

Well I made it almost exactly 14 hours before I took some. It’s always the rls at night that gets me, I toss and turn all night waking up constantly and wishing someone would cut my arm off.
That said I didn’t do too bad, that’s the longest I’ve gone without Kratom in years.
Tomorrow I’ll try again, and see how long I can go with nothing - hopefully but unlikely this will be my last dose tonight.

Try some magnesium for the rls if you haven't already. Other things that help with the withdrawal are black seed oil, ginger, and turmeric w/ bioperine, among others.

 

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

You know I forgot about magnesium - as a pill that is I usually take an epsom salt bath when it gets real bad.
I don’t think I can do this, I’m sweating like crazy, feel like shit but worst of all the world looks even more bleak and hopeless than normal. Why am I stopping again? Do I really think I’ll be happier without it?
I have cut down my tolerance a ton already though. Took like 8 or so in the morning and a massive handful tonight. Still have a headache though but the world just isn’t as bad I guess. I’m just not happy unless I’m on something it seems, with the exception of when I get a lot of exercise every day. Maybe that’s the solution to work toward.

 

[deficiT]

You know I forgot about magnesium - as a pill that is I usually take an epsom salt bath when it gets real bad.
I don’t think I can do this, I’m sweating like crazy, feel like shit but worst of all the world looks even more bleak and hopeless than normal. Why am I stopping again? Do I really think I’ll be happier without it?
I have cut down my tolerance a ton already though. Took like 8 or so in the morning and a massive handful tonight. Still have a headache though but the world just isn’t as bad I guess. I’m just not happy unless I’m on something it seems, with the exception of when I get a lot of exercise every day. Maybe that’s the solution to work toward.

Hang in there buddy I know it sucks. I definitely understand feeling like you need to be on something all day. I'm trying to get over that myself it's difficult.

I'm sorry you're struggling though, I'm pulling for you.