Ok, I'm just wondering why this is happening to me, in all honesty it's probably a blessing in disguise to get me away from this drug but I must admit I am very curious. Anyways, here we go:
I started doing Cocaine on Saturday nights pretty much every weekend about 2 years ago. Y'know, the typical going out with friends, drinking ourselves silly, ripping lines type of thing.
At first (like always) it was amazing, the high was incredible (won't go into detail, everybody knows what a good cocaine high feels like). Now, fast-forward, let's say, about six months from when I started, I'm still doing cocaine but noticing when the effects starts to wear off from that initial first line, I don't just feel a little depleted alongside the craving to to do more like I used to, I feel very anxious until I snort another line; nothing debilitating but still, anxious nonetheless. Fast-forward some more time and I start to notice that inbetween lines I don't just feel anxious but extremely self-conscious and aware of every little thing that I say or do (body language, the way I sound, etc..). Fast-forwarding again leads me to where I am at now, when I do a line of cocaine, even when I'm absolutely wasted on booze (which tends to take the edginess out of coke for a lot of people, including me), about 5 minutes after that line I get all of the symptoms described above while I'm actually still high and drunk. Basically Cocaine just isn't enjoyable anymore for those reasons and I wanna know why this has happened and if anyone else has experienced something similar. I should also mention that anxiety has managed to creep its way into my sober life so I imagine that is down to the Cocaine use aswell? I now can't drink Coffee or use pretty much any stimulant because it will give me crazy anxiety. Any thoughts, ideas or sharing your own related experiences would be very much appreciated.
Thanks.
I started doing Cocaine on Saturday nights pretty much every weekend about 2 years ago. Y'know, the typical going out with friends, drinking ourselves silly, ripping lines type of thing.
At first (like always) it was amazing, the high was incredible (won't go into detail, everybody knows what a good cocaine high feels like). Now, fast-forward, let's say, about six months from when I started, I'm still doing cocaine but noticing when the effects starts to wear off from that initial first line, I don't just feel a little depleted alongside the craving to to do more like I used to, I feel very anxious until I snort another line; nothing debilitating but still, anxious nonetheless. Fast-forward some more time and I start to notice that inbetween lines I don't just feel anxious but extremely self-conscious and aware of every little thing that I say or do (body language, the way I sound, etc..). Fast-forwarding again leads me to where I am at now, when I do a line of cocaine, even when I'm absolutely wasted on booze (which tends to take the edginess out of coke for a lot of people, including me), about 5 minutes after that line I get all of the symptoms described above while I'm actually still high and drunk. Basically Cocaine just isn't enjoyable anymore for those reasons and I wanna know why this has happened and if anyone else has experienced something similar. I should also mention that anxiety has managed to creep its way into my sober life so I imagine that is down to the Cocaine use aswell? I now can't drink Coffee or use pretty much any stimulant because it will give me crazy anxiety. Any thoughts, ideas or sharing your own related experiences would be very much appreciated.
Thanks.
