Cocaine kits: Not always the best gift!!
Many years ago an old friend returned from Europe, bringing with him a pile of legal drug paraphernalia. He also had ~40 pieces of vinyl which I really wanted. So he suggested I sell the paraphernalia in exchange for the records. To cut a long story short, I ended up personally purchasing the majority of the stuff just to get the vinyl. However, because of other things I was involved with at the time, and the unsuitability of being a sales person of that nature, I
gave away most of the testing kits, coke kits, stash devices and bump bottles as presents.
So..., this particular night we were heading out to a 40th birthday party for one of the town's very wealthy and celebrated local ladies. Apart from her partying friends, very few people knew of her "secret life" and that C was her substance of choice. I'd wrapped up a lovely little gift pack, comprising of a gold razor, mirror, bump bottle and the coolest little gold plated vacuum cleaner. But, the moment we arrived at the restaurant party I knew I should have hidden the gift until later. She was really drunk and as she staggered towards me, her eyes were fixed firmly on the gift. I kissed her and wished her a happy B/day while whispering in her ear that she must not open the present until after the party when she was alone. That was a BIG MISTAKE on my part!
Not five minutes had past when someone was urging her to open the sparkling gift clutched in her hand. Sure enough, completely forgetting what I'd just told her, she proceeded to rip open the box while all eyes were fixed on the fumblin and stumblin- but happy - birthday girl. Suddenly, just as she tore off the last piece of paper, the box slipped from her grasp and the contents flew out in all directions, landing across the small bar room floor. Other ladies clambered to pick up the bits, while the birthday girl knelt down and grabbed the little vacuum cleaner. Staring at it intensely with one eye half open, she then held it up to the light and asked in a loud drunken tone, "What's this then...? What does it do...? What's it for....?"
My jaw had dropped and I was speechless; not so different to most people in that room. A room that, in an instant, had gone deadly silent. I won't describe in detail the faces of the councillors wife holding a gold razor, or the local "morality journalist" who had suddenly worked out the intended use for the little bottle she was examining. But needless to say, it
was a tad uncomfortable.
The party? Over in seconds, and afaik, many of those present were never seen in the same room with each other again. I certainly wasn't forgiven for a while.... at least until when we threw our next private dance party, and I received calls of interest from the most unlikely people
All I can say is that the old phase *there's a time and place for everything* certainly applies to this sort of gift.