(Cannabis) - Umpteenth Time - User Control Panel

[Kaleida]

I generally don't write trip reports for just cannabis, but this brief experience that occurred earlier today seemed worthy of reporting.

My family is full of stoners like myself and I was smoking with them in the early afternoon before getting ready to go off and be busy for the rest of the day doing something that would prevent me from smoking any more cannabis until late at night when I got home, which is now. Most often we smoke two bong bowls between us at a time, but since we were trying to make up for my upcoming lack of smoking for the rest of the day, we smoked at least four, I want to say exactly that many but didn't really try to keep track at the time.

As the high was really peaking I was getting very much lost in my mind and exploring with some internal imagery, and I had a sudden idea to try something: I visualized the word 'SNEEZE' and "moved it" from my mind's eye down into my internal perception of my own body, which has faint and monotone. Immediately, I sneezed. I tried it again, and sneezed again. And again and again. I did it with 'YAWN' and I started yawning instead. I did 'LAUGH' and burst into hysterical laughter as if I had just done a large balloon of nitrous oxide while on a psychedelic. I did 'ORGASM' and immediately let out a series of loud and full vocalizations. I did 'CRY' and started sobbing, and I pushed it further and further until I was sobbing harder than I ever have before in my life. I started experimenting with more abstract commands like pushing an image of my middle finger up or my tongue curled up, and both immediately happened without me thinking about it. I tried pushing an image of a muscle movement I can't do and nothing happened. I tried a few more things at least but this is what I mainly recall now. Some other alters in the system also switched out and tried it for themselves following my example, successfully.

As bizarre as all this was, possibly the strangest thing was that all of the instincts were "dry" even though they were complete. I cannot sneeze, yawn, laugh, moan, or cry to the level that I did in these experiences simply through acting, it was totally beyond that and absolutely what I do when actually instinctively and completely feeling those things, but nothing actually came out of the sneeze, the yawn was not associated with tiredness, the laughter felt a little uncomfortably forced if I tried to do it more than just a bit, the moan still made me feel good to do but was not associated with the actual physical release and pleasure of orgasm, and the sobbing even at the highest intensity did not produce any actual tears.

Some bizarre switch was triggered in my brain by this cannabis experience, one that I have never experienced before that I can recall, not like this anyway. My somewhat educated guess based on what I know and how I experienced this firsthand is that this state has something to do with the way hypnosis works, perhaps also facilitated in part by our natural dissociative experiences, but truly of course I have no idea what really happened here.

Subsequently, we ended up spending the whole day busy and I wasn't fronting or thinking about it again until now, and it doesn't seem like I can really do it anymore at this moment, but I'm also very tired and still a little tipsy from the day. Perhaps things will be different in the morning but I won't be surprised if this was just a novel brief reaction to the earlier high either.

Not that I actually needed it, but this was just another experience that reminded me of what a powerful psychoactive drug cannabis truly is, and one that I expect will stay with me and influence some of my future explorations for some time to come.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
explevel_veryexperienced
exptype_positive
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled

 

[Xorkoth]

That's really interesting, thanks for sharing. It does sound something a little like hypnosis. Cannabis is indeed powerful. I always think back to my earliest trips with it and very little competes with how strong it was then. I can remember I went through a phase where I couldn't stop myself from thinking about horrible ways to be mutilated while I was high. It felt like obsessive thoughts, and I would actually feel the thing happen, minus the actual pain. For example I would imagine falling onto a longl, sharp spike, and it entering through my ass and piercing through everything and coming out my head. The feeling was horribly uncomfortable even though I didn't feel pain. But it would make me writhe and I would feel this sensation going through all my body parts one by one. I know this is a different thing you're describing but it just reminded me.

That's cool you get to smoke with your family, ever since my brother had a kid, he and his wife don't anymore, and my sister stopped years ago, and my parents don't smoke. Pretty much just my cousin but he's become an angry, homophobic racist who it's hard to hang out with.

 

[Kaleida]

That's for the comment, and glad you found it interesting.

I totally agree with that sentiment.... It always amazed me when I was first getting into it that everyone seems to treat cannabis like it's one of the milder drugs because it's quite clearly one of the strongest there is to me. Having such a huge tolerance you can smoke it all day every day and barely notice doesn't count as it being mild in my opinion, and furthermore I still haven't managed to reach that level myself, obviously I still have significant experiences like this one every so often even with my tolerance being that high for years and years without relenting.

This may sound like a bizarre statement, but I love those kind of trips on it, haha. I get the feeling that I enjoy the "darkness" in my trips a lot more than the average person does.... I only find it to be an invitation to challenge myself and grow in a different, and honestly often more meaningful and lasting way than the "light" I also find in my trips. Cannabis is one of my most cherished allies specifically for exploring that part of myself in that way as well. Though, I also just have kind of a twisted sense of fun and superficially enjoy the insanity of those crazy and "darker" experiences as well, even when there isn't much to learn from them. That being said, I also went through a phase with it early on where I didn't really realize that I was tripping on it in that way and just thought I was a horribly obsessive hypochondriac myself and built up anxiety and panic to the point that I had to be taken to the ER for a delusional panic attack I absolutely refused to listen to anyone about the reality of, and after that had to force myself to give it up for the longest period of time I ever have yet to allow my mental state to heal, along with having to deal with a whole bunch of other stuff I was going through at the time that that really wasn't helping with. Eventually, after getting back into it I realized that that really was just a predictable response like any other hallucinogenic drug, and slowly and comfortably worked my way back up into it.... Now I rarely have any "dark" or even slightly anxious cannabis experiences whatsoever unless I'm specifically trying to bring that aspect of it out like through meditation.

That really sucks about your cousin and unfortunately I think it's a pretty relatable story at this current time in the state of our society. That's a shame that your other family members don't smoke anymore either, to each their own of course but I would definitely feel a little bummed out about it after already getting to share that with them before. Of course, it's hard for me to imagine family without cannabis mixed in now, which is kind of crazy because I just started on my own hiding it from my parents like most people do.... I only realized after that how they had actually been hiding it from me all along too, supposedly to stop me from getting lost in the drug world and losing track of my life and such. Of course, I was so hurt by the betrayal that I just went and told every single family member my age that our parents and aunts/uncles were huge stoners who had been hiding it from us all along and we should shove in their faces how we could have been safely smoking at home all this time if they would just let us. ? I (we? whoever the hell was out at the time) don't have a history of responding well to being lied to, even for supposedly good intentions.... As soon as I heard our family was privately druggie I said fuck this repressive bullshit and forced it into a publicly druggie one. Now I smoke with my parents extremely frequently and also with a number of my cousins and aunts and uncles, though of course not all of them smoke which I don't mind and but I still tell them about it. Basically every family party ends with me being completely wasted in more ways than one now, it's pretty great honestly lol. Those things always made me anxious when we were younger but they're pretty enjoyable now.

Anyway, that's enough of that for now.

 

[Xorkoth]

Haha my family likes to drink, the men and my sister do anyway (actually my sister doesn't so much anymore, she has a big corporate job and married a guy who is really nice but is basically an 80 year old man in a 33 year old's body who is like the least wild person I've ever met and it's rubbed off on her). My brother and I and used to be my dad also always get wasted at family parties. 3 Christmas Eves ago (we have a big party on Christmas Eve), I got wasted and blacked out and they put me to bed, and I got up, knocked over a bookshelf, took my pants off and peed on my pants on the floor (it's something my siblings and I all do, when we black out we pee on stuff). Then 2 Christmas Eves ago, I got really drunk and fell down while smoking a cigarette outside and gashed my eyebrow open. In both instances everyone still laughs about it to this day (especially the peeing one). My family likes to party but just not drugs besides alcohol.

 

[Kaleida]

That does sound like some pretty crazy family partying too, I'm pretty sure we haven't had one where anyone was so drunk they peed on something yet, hahaha. I can imagine that that is indeed the kind of story you would never escape. ? That's nuts about your eyebrow too though, really glad it wasn't worse than that! There is a lot of smoking that goes on in our family but it's still the drinking more than anything, though it kind of doesn't feel like that as much lately, maybe because our family throwing the parties (mostly my parents and they're large number of brothers and sisters) are finally getting up there in age enough to be slowing down in that respect, even if not enough to stop throwing parties. We've had a good few family members be "that one" who was reliably completely wasted way beyond everyone else at every party for a while though, including myself. 8) I'm kind of glad we're moving beyond that honestly because we cannot regulate ourselves with alcohol very well at all lol.

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm a poor alcohol regulator too. I don't drink every day, only in certain situations, but whenever I do I almost always drink more than I meant to.