So I used to abuse gabbys about a year and a half ago. I took large doses between 6-15 grams. I used them for months, then quit with no wd or anything. Flash forward to November 2018, I'm prescribed 11.4mg zubsolv (i usually only take 5.7mg a day, but i snort it) and my doc has been prescribing me 2400mg gabby a day, which i havent taken for a year and a half so i have a LARGE stockpile. I decided to start taking the gabbys recreationally again. I started by taking the prescribed amount, and eventually built it up to an average dose of 6-9 grams, which i would only take every other day. this went on for about 5-6 weeks, until i stopped the day before christmas. For the first time I started to feel some withdrawal effects like severe depression, severe aggitation especially at irrational times, and insomnia. These are common symptoms of wd from what i read online, however it said that wd lasts 5-10 days. By day 10 my symptoms were worse, and i was experiencing symptoms that didnt match up with gabapentin wd. My memory is SEVERELY damaged, both short term and long term. I feel extremely stupid, i cant remember basic words, i cant carry a sentence, I'll forget what im doing when im doing the simplest of tasks. I have absolutely no desire to do anything, i cant even watch tv or listen to music. i cant concentrate on anything long enough. it's like my brain isnt processing information. This happens all day long, and every time it happens it sends me into a whirlwind of anxiety and dread that i caused irreparable damage to my brain and I'll never be normal again. Also i've been having constant jaw pain since i quit that feels like TMJ. when i hit day 10 cold turkey and the symptoms were getting bad, I decided to take 1200mg to see if the symptoms were caused by withdrawal. The symptoms not only didnt stop, but i just feel that dizziness from taking the gabbys on top of it. The past couple days i've been taking the prescribed dose of 2400mg a day, but the symptoms are still just as bad. i saw my suboxone doc 2 days ago, and she said that its most likely from the wd, that my brain is adjusting, but she doesnt know much about gabbys. i saw my family doc today and she was absolutely no help. She did give me some solace that i most likely didnt cause any brain damage, but i asked for her to set up an appointment for an MRI regardless, but it wont be until next week. I told her that from what i found online i seem to have most of the symptoms of bipolar disorder and she agreed, but she said she has no way to diagnose me so id have to see a psychologist. Im also terrified that I dont have bipolar and its just wd symptoms but the doc puts me on other psych meds that fuck me up even worse. Keep in mind i live in a small town with VERY shitty doctors. I have an appointment with the psychologist thats prescribing the gabbys in 4 days, but i honestly dont konw if i can make it that long. This is honestly my worst fear, to have lost my intellect and be cognizant of what i have lost. I'm living in my personal hell, and i often feel like i'd rather be dead than live like this. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated, I feel utterly hopeless. Im not trying to sound cocky but before all this I was a very intelligent person, I was witty with a steel trap memory. I've never had any mental issues in the past like this and i'm 32. I dont know if I'm really mentally ill or if the gabbys are causing this.
Misc Can Gabapentin cause bipolar disorder? In dire need of help.
- Thread starter pahn
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zagor11
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Please make paragraphs when you make such a big post.
To me it sounds as wd. But I am confused why it didn't happen the first time only second. You used massive doses. 2-3 g that you use now cannot help much for 9 g you used. You should have tapered down. Maybe you got rebound wd or maybe it is because you were abusing it while on suboxone. (zubsolv)
It is a good idea to talk to your doctors. maybe a temporary use of anti depression meds are a good idea. Your doctor can't put you on anything you don't wanna. But If he does I's rather take celexa than abilify for example.
Despite all those symptoms that you got I believe there is no brain damage. Also I don't believe gabapentin caused you bipolar.
I think those are withdrawal symptoms which include depression and when you are depressed it clouds your judgement. Try not to worry.
BTW, when you used those high doses of gaba like 10-15 g did you use it all at once or spread throughout the day?
To me it sounds as wd. But I am confused why it didn't happen the first time only second. You used massive doses. 2-3 g that you use now cannot help much for 9 g you used. You should have tapered down. Maybe you got rebound wd or maybe it is because you were abusing it while on suboxone. (zubsolv)
It is a good idea to talk to your doctors. maybe a temporary use of anti depression meds are a good idea. Your doctor can't put you on anything you don't wanna. But If he does I's rather take celexa than abilify for example.
Despite all those symptoms that you got I believe there is no brain damage. Also I don't believe gabapentin caused you bipolar.
I think those are withdrawal symptoms which include depression and when you are depressed it clouds your judgement. Try not to worry.
BTW, when you used those high doses of gaba like 10-15 g did you use it all at once or spread throughout the day?
Thanks for the advice Zagor, but i'm afraid this isnt wd, the 2400mg that I'm currently taking has been making me high. I currently just woke out of a sound sleep after 4 hrs so dizzy and confused which has only happened since i started taking the 2400mg doses. This is the same feeling I would get when I first started taking them again in November.
Also to answer your question, when I first started abusing them a year and a half ago I would take them all at once. This time when I abused them I did some research and found that if you spread them out they absorb in your system better, so I would take like 900mg every half hour until i would get to about 7 or 9 grams. I would do this after eating then chug carbonated drinks the rest of the day to help absorption as well.
I can barely read in my current state, my eyes seem to rapidly dart all over the place and I feel like my brain isnt properly processing information. Even when I do manage to read I have to re-read it over and over until it registers. I can't retain any information. After watching any tv show I can't remember what just happened, I can't play video games, I cant remember my favorite songs which is insane I'm a musician. I dont even remember what I did yesterday. Both my long term and short term memory are severely effected. Even typing this I've spelled so many words wrong(thank god for spell check) and I'm a stickler for perfect spelling and grammar but my brain is just blanking.
I told my roommate last night about my symptoms and he said I've been acting super weird and out of the ordinary. I didnt exactly tell him about abusing the gabbys, he and my family would be so upset with me because i have a long history of abuse and I've been clean for years (other than me getting back on zubsolve which i also did in private).
I'm also terrified because I'm in between jobs and I just got an interview for a bank position. I can't work like this. I'm a fucking mental wreck right now. I used to be able to do mental math at almost a savant level and now i cant even think of basic multiplication tables.
Also I want to stress again that the 2400mg that I'm currently taking is making me high both during the day, and making me wake up throughout the night dizzy and confused which is how i would feel when i first started using/abusing them. So now I have all of my shitty symptoms of feeling like i'm retarded on top of feeling the dizzy kind of buzz gabbys give. I would think that if this were wd symptoms I wouldnt be getting high off the gabbys and still feeling the "wd symptoms" i think this is permanent mental damage.
All I can think for the past two days is that i want to get high on xanax, which i used to abuse for years but havent touched in 2 years now. I want to see if I calm down if I can live a normal life, but I'm terrified that I'm going to get busted buying drugs and go to jail(i have a record), and have to go through not only this but suboxone wd on top of this. Not only that, but I'm an addict and I dont want to fall back into old habits or lose my zubsolve over it. I used to smoke weed, but ever since i've been experiencing these symptoms every time I smoke weed ill just take one small hit and my anxiety gets so bad i freak the fuck out and it makes my focus problems even worse. I stopped smoking weed for the past week or so.
I would also like to mention that I did start to notice some symptoms form before I quit taking them. I remember one day I was looking at a poorly made drawing posted on a website, and when I couldnt figure out wtf the person was trying to draw I got severely agitated and angry. I remember thinking "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?! WTF IS HE TRYING TO DRAW?!" it was so out of nowhere and uncharacteristic of me to have such an irrational anger out of nowhere over something trivial. Not only was I experiencing this irrational anger, but also the symptom of my eyes not being able to process what i'm seeing/reading like normal. This happened about a week before I stopped.
Again, thank you Zagor11 for taking the time to help. This has been the scariest time of my life. I've withdrawn off of opiates several times, and benzos several times, and i've never felt anything like this. God I wish i could do something to repay you for your kindness. Is there any way I could private chat with you sometime?
Also to answer your question, when I first started abusing them a year and a half ago I would take them all at once. This time when I abused them I did some research and found that if you spread them out they absorb in your system better, so I would take like 900mg every half hour until i would get to about 7 or 9 grams. I would do this after eating then chug carbonated drinks the rest of the day to help absorption as well.
I can barely read in my current state, my eyes seem to rapidly dart all over the place and I feel like my brain isnt properly processing information. Even when I do manage to read I have to re-read it over and over until it registers. I can't retain any information. After watching any tv show I can't remember what just happened, I can't play video games, I cant remember my favorite songs which is insane I'm a musician. I dont even remember what I did yesterday. Both my long term and short term memory are severely effected. Even typing this I've spelled so many words wrong(thank god for spell check) and I'm a stickler for perfect spelling and grammar but my brain is just blanking.
I told my roommate last night about my symptoms and he said I've been acting super weird and out of the ordinary. I didnt exactly tell him about abusing the gabbys, he and my family would be so upset with me because i have a long history of abuse and I've been clean for years (other than me getting back on zubsolve which i also did in private).
I'm also terrified because I'm in between jobs and I just got an interview for a bank position. I can't work like this. I'm a fucking mental wreck right now. I used to be able to do mental math at almost a savant level and now i cant even think of basic multiplication tables.
Also I want to stress again that the 2400mg that I'm currently taking is making me high both during the day, and making me wake up throughout the night dizzy and confused which is how i would feel when i first started using/abusing them. So now I have all of my shitty symptoms of feeling like i'm retarded on top of feeling the dizzy kind of buzz gabbys give. I would think that if this were wd symptoms I wouldnt be getting high off the gabbys and still feeling the "wd symptoms" i think this is permanent mental damage.
All I can think for the past two days is that i want to get high on xanax, which i used to abuse for years but havent touched in 2 years now. I want to see if I calm down if I can live a normal life, but I'm terrified that I'm going to get busted buying drugs and go to jail(i have a record), and have to go through not only this but suboxone wd on top of this. Not only that, but I'm an addict and I dont want to fall back into old habits or lose my zubsolve over it. I used to smoke weed, but ever since i've been experiencing these symptoms every time I smoke weed ill just take one small hit and my anxiety gets so bad i freak the fuck out and it makes my focus problems even worse. I stopped smoking weed for the past week or so.
I would also like to mention that I did start to notice some symptoms form before I quit taking them. I remember one day I was looking at a poorly made drawing posted on a website, and when I couldnt figure out wtf the person was trying to draw I got severely agitated and angry. I remember thinking "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?! WTF IS HE TRYING TO DRAW?!" it was so out of nowhere and uncharacteristic of me to have such an irrational anger out of nowhere over something trivial. Not only was I experiencing this irrational anger, but also the symptom of my eyes not being able to process what i'm seeing/reading like normal. This happened about a week before I stopped.
Again, thank you Zagor11 for taking the time to help. This has been the scariest time of my life. I've withdrawn off of opiates several times, and benzos several times, and i've never felt anything like this. God I wish i could do something to repay you for your kindness. Is there any way I could private chat with you sometime?
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OP, I know you won't like this, but I just wanted to say that I've seen your thread and intend to give you a nice reply in just a few minutes. I got a quick call with my boss and then I'm gonna hopefully help you out a little bit. Hang in there and thanks to all of you guys for the thoughtful answers and kind words! That's what we're all about :D
So after i woke in a dizzying panic this morning and wrote that last reply i took 15mg of remeron that my doc prescribed me for sleep. I havent taken the remeron in months because i didnt like relying on it for sleep constantly. Anyway, the cocktail of the gabapentin still in my system and the remeron put me back to sleep fast and hard for a good 6 hours. i just woke up feeling pretty refreshed and calm. For the first time in forever i didnt pop awake with the instant anxiety and fear. I think the anti-depressant properties of the remeron helped me out immensely. however i feel a different kind of "fogginess" in my head. Also, Keif' Richards I love your name!
zagor11
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Glad t hear you got some relief. Do not buy xanax pls. Ask your doc for a script after you explain all the mental problems. Let me tell you something. Depression and anxiety have dozens if not hundreds of other symptoms. One of them is depersonalization aka brain god and I have it continuously for 27 years. I will continue this post later cuz I got to go. You can PM me whenever you want.