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C.C.C.C. [Captain's Cockamamie Christmas Catastrophe]

I knew the Cap'n back when he was but seaman. Found him kinda prickly back then. But then it takes a special kinda guy to go googoo over seaman on their back.

This guy... this guy though. He was different. Kinda special. I mean we all loved him - that was the way we did it back below decks back then - but special in ways I just hadn't yet realised.

Cos I mean there was this for a start. This guy craved me, my siblings - all of us here - just to pool around his thread. Barely even had to try. Fucker was cool... hot... yet cold. Also widely open to lengthy streams of piss aimed right at his open flaps.

Man we tried though. Me and Rudy that is. Oh, did I not tell you about Rudy yet? Guy's a prick. Forever jostling for attention. Me, I just jostle for the jizz. Idle hands are the devil's work and the devil had his hands on my dick years back.

Sorry. None of y'all are here for that now. I've picked every last elven leaving from the sawdust since the babby was born. Pricks gave up on notes years back and went on the gold standard. We laughed, we cried, then the frogs went gay. Fuck did things go bad then. But then you would know. Wouldn't you? Well wouldn't you?

That aside, carrots are decent this time of year, mince pies as bad as ever, whisky improves year on year.

<3
 
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I knew the Cap'n back when he was but seaman. Found him kinda prickly back then. But then it takes a special kinda guy to go googoo over seaman on their back.

This guy... this guy though. He was different. Kinda special. I mean we all loved him - that was the way we did it back below decks back then - but special in ways I just hadn't yet realised.

Cos I mean there was this for a start. This guy craved me, my siblings - all of us here - just to pool around his thread. Barely even had to try. Fucker was cool... hot... yet cold. Also widely open to lengthy streams of piss aimed right at his open flaps.

Man we tried though. Me and Rudy that is. Oh, did I not tell you about Rudy yet? Guy's a prick. Forever jostling for attention. Me, I just jostle for the jizz. Idle hands are the devil's work and the devil had his hands on my dick years back.

Sorry. None of y'all are here for that now. I've picked every last elven leaving from the sawdust since the babby was born. Pricks gave up on notes years back and went on the gold standard. We laughed, we cried, then the frogs went gay. Fuck did things go bad then. But then you would know. Wouldn't you? Well wouldn't you?

That aside, carrots are decent this time of year, mince pies as bad as ever, whisky improves year on year.

<3

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Shambles won.

There was one specific detail that eerily lined up with reality in the most ironic way with a Christmas event anomaly, so, he wins.

story coming soon; see the lounge (most likely) I'll probably repost it here
 
Shambles won.

Ya, at birth and every single day since ;)

Well, 'cept all of those days I lost. Badly. So...

:eek:

Please do tell me (and by extension "us") of this Xmas anomaly you speak of. Genuinely intrigued know :?

Also, seasonal felicitations, yo!!! =D<3=D
 
Yeah well the rules promised a fictionalized story so I think I'll come up with something more salacious, ridiculous or parodied and then tell the real story later.

Congrats to all who played. The other contestants were a bit too similar but also lacked the detail that made this Christmas a Captain's Cockamamie Christmas Catastrophe.

Christmas Chicks Crying Continually

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