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Bupe Buprenorphine Withdrawals

Hello all... Im a first timer and I want to write a brief history of my experiences with Suboxone and Subutex and then shed a Huge light on this tapering then jumping off thing since it seems like alot of people that taper down forget one thing before they jump... First things first, yes im new to BL and first timer on forums period but just because i am a newb doesnt mean im not educated and dont know what im talking about... I just dont know all the acronyms yall use.

I did a cold turkey withdrawal from 12-16mg of Suboxone per day and could not take any other drugs or otc/herbs whatsoever. The only thing I did was drink my way through it. Got hooked again and again quit cold turkey at 8mg a day but this time it was way easier thanks to me being able to/have access to different drugs.

Clonidine: My list topper. Lowers your blood pressure, blood pressure and rate of breathing. I also found that it greatly relieved my RLS. Great for bedtime

Loperamide: if w/d from suboxone or subutex it probably wont work for you until day 3 because buprenorphene has a long half life and is still binding to your mu receptors even though your not high. Depending on your dose at the time of you jump off, you may have to take more or less than me. Start at 4 if that doesnt help after 30 mins take 4 more etc. The key is only take it when you absolutely can not handle the w/d anymore such as for RLS (alot of peoples breaking point symptom),to be able to sleep or not shitting yourself when you have to run errands. Do not take enough Loperamide so that you can go about you day like your back on your opiate of choice only enough so w/d is tolerable. Alot of people just say f*ck it and take 150mg of this stuff and think theyre fine but after 2 days of not taking Loperamide, guess what? Loperamide is an opiate and it will cross your BBB! Loperamide addiction is very real and you will w/d from it. As with any other opiate use it in moderation or it will suck you in.
Vallium: Great for sleep but as with anything dont abuse it or you run the risk of dependecy. Try a milder approach at first as this should be your last resort. 5-HTP, L-Trytophan, Melatonin or even OTC sleeping pills first.
Adderall: Heres how Adderall works. Picture your brain as a bath tub, endorphins as water that flows outa the faucet into the tub, water going down the drain as endorphins being broken down, and adderall as the drain plug. When you exercise or do anything "rewarding" to your brain it produces endorphins. Think of this as turning on the water in the bath tub. Opiates/Opiods are artificial endorphins and when you are addicted your brain stops producing them because you already have plenty in your body. It also takes your brain a while to start producing them again and this is why we go through withdrawal. When you ingest opiates/opiods you are also turning on the water in the bath tub. So now you have a steady stream of water (endorphins) flowing into the tub (your brain) but they are still just going down the drain (getting metabolized and broken down by another compound your body uses to keep your endorphins at a steady level). When you ingest adderall (put the drain plug in), adderall inhibits this compound that breaks down endorphins and your brain has way more endorphins than normal (water filling the tub instead of going down the drain). Heres the catch with taking Adderall for opiate w/d: it wont do a damn thing but raise your heart rate and make you anxious (youre putting the drain plug in without water flowing) If your brain isnt producing its own endorphins. Until your brain starts producing at least some endorphins on its own again dont bother taking Adderall. By about day 7 or 8 you can use Adderall to fight the fatigue successfully.

Alcohol: Always resort to this before any other drug to battle w/d if you can hold it down. It wont be the best sleep but, yes, you can still drink yourself to sleep. Do NOT mix it with sleeping meds or other depressants or you might not wake up. I am NOT responsible for you if you do mix alcohol and other depresent or any other combination for that matter.

Marijuana: If it makes you anxious dont do it. You will just aggrevate your already existing symptoms. If it calms you down, do it.

Sex: Even though you are only going to last 5 minutes if your lucky, you will forget your even W/Ding.
Exercise: Force yourself to start exercising around day 4 or 5. It will stimulate endorphin production. I basically ran my way through W/D. Hop on the tread mill for even 2 minutes and youll feel better. It also decreases the time you spend dealing with PAWS.

Lastly, (here is for the people who can successfully taper down) i want to put in my 2 cents on this buprenorphene tapering. First things first in this theory, get a pill cutter for subutex or a razor blade for suboxone (as they only come in the sublingual strips now). Next, have a standard control size of how much you are going to take like peices of paper cut to give you a stencil for cutting your sub strip. Do NOT rip Suboxone strips with your fingers or break Subutex pills with anything but a pill cutter. You will never be accurate and even a little peice of buprenorphene is extremely powerful to someone without an opiate/opiod tolerance.

In all the forums that i have read everybody tapers by days at a time. Ive seen alot of different methods but the one that makes the most sense to me is the most common which is a gradual taper. If you take 8mg a day, when you are ready to start tapering, lower your dose by whatever is comforatable to you whether that be down to 6mg a day or 7.99mgs a day depending on how long you wish to taperdown. Keep in mind that buprenorphene has a long half life so dont try to taper down too much too fast. You could cut your dose in half for 4 days and feel like you are fine but when day 4 rolls around and w/d kicks in dont be suprised. The key here is starting the taper down weekly and then by the hour of your last dose.

Here is what everyone (from what I have read) does wrong: "Help, I jumped off at .5mgs of buprenorphene and im w/ding bad!!!". Once you are at .5mgs taper down by the hour. If you take .5mgs on monday morning at 7am take .5mgs at 8am on tuesday then 9am on Wednesday then 10am on thursday once you get to 4 days of consistent tapering hold that time for 4 days so when monday rolls around again take it .5mgs at 11am then tuesday at 12pm etc. etc.. Eventually you will be at every other day, then every third, fourth. Once you are at every 4th day I would say you are more than ok to jump off and not have any w/d at all. I think alot of people fail to understand just how powerful buprenorphene is to the non opiate tolerant human body. The first peice of suboxone i ever took was a tiny crumb given to me by someone who said "yea i know it looks small but trust me". I put that tiny crumb under my tongue and was flying high for a day and a half.

Keep this in mind, Everyone is different. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa. The hourly tapering idea is just my theory. It makes sense and probably is 99.9% true. In my eyes, I would rather "get hit by a train than slowy bleed out for months" so i prefer the cold turkey method. I also look at the w/d from cold turkey as God teaching me a lesson. Going through cold turkey w/d makes me never want to touch an opiate/opiod again, I have learned to welcome the pain because it is the price you pay for being high everyday and to get your clean slate or rebirth at the end. There is nothing like the feeling of conquering opiate/opiod w/d. You start to feel it around day 8 and believe me my friends you will feel invincible and better than you did when you were on the shit.

You were meant to have bad days and not always be in a good mood. If it werent for the bad things in life you would not have anything to base a good thing off of.
 
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Hi all I have recently decided to quit oxy and have been using subutex for the past month to get past oxy withdrawals and am ready to quit subutex I have been using 2 mg a day for the past month and I am wonder what I should expect for withdrawal
 
Also except for one week out of it I was skipping days I just want to know what to expect someone please tell me
 
And I have a job where I work 65 hours a week if I just keep strong will I be able to work and just power through it?
 
^ Oxy what? your past the oxy W/D but now your gonna have to kick the subs. Thats a whole new beast as the W/D lasts way longer. 2mg a day or even every other day is still a strong dose for someone who has no tolerance to opiates. Thats your goal right? If you cold turkey at 2mg your gonna feel like shit. Anything is possible as long as you have the heart and will power. Its gonna suck being at work but it will help you through it. What alot of people do wrong is go into W/D preparing and expecting to be bed or couch ridden for 2 weeks. Wrong attitude. That will only make time drag. Dont let it get you down and youll be ok. Time heals all, W/D isnt forever.
 
Thanks for the response I'm still tapering and haven't felt much I cook and I think I sweat a lot of it out just by moving cause I don't really feel crappy at all and I think it's a lot mental
 
My goal is to stop doing these completely I got myself in deeper than I should be I didn't need suboxone I used it recreationally twice a week and then progressively more and more and now I want out that's all I'm pretty sure I just mind fuck myself and that's why I haven't quit yet
 
Here is what everyone (from what I have read does wrong: "Help, I jumped off at .5mgs of buprenorphen and im w/ding . Once you are at .5mgs taper down by the hour. If you take .5mgs on monday by the hour. If you take .5mgs on monday morning at 7am take .5mgs at 8am on morning at 7am take .5mgs at 8am on tuesday then 9am on Wednesday then tuesday then 9am on Wednesday then 10am on thursday once you get to 4 days 10am on thursday once you get to 4 days of consistent tapering hold that time for 4 of consistent tapering hold that time for 4 days so when monday rolls around again days so when monday rolls around again take it .5mgs at 11am then tuesday at take it .5mgs at 11am then tuesday at 12pm etc. etc.. 12pm etc. etc.. Eventually you will be at Eventually you will be at every other day, then every third, fourth. every other day, then every third, fourth. Once you are at every 4th day I would say Once you are at every 4th day I would say you are more than ok to jump off and not you are more than ok to jump off and not have any w/d at all. I think alot of people have any w/d at all. I think alot of people fail to understand just how powerful fail to understand just how powerful buprenorphene is to the non opiate buprenorphene is to the non opiate tolerant human body. The first peice of tolerant human body. The first peice of suboxone suboxone i ever took was a tiny crumb i ever took was a tiny crumb given to me by someone who said "yea i given to me by someone who said "yea i know it looks small but trust me". I put know it looks small but trust me". I put that tiny crumb under my tongue and was that tiny crumb under my tongue and was flying high for a day and a half. flying high for a day and a half.


Is this paragraph above true?if u take .5mg at one time in one day,and the next day take it an hour later than u did the previous day and keep doing that daily...will you eventually be takimg it every 3 days,then.every.4,amd 5,etc??

I ask.because im at 1mg daily amd one at night,sometimes i can skip tje night dose which i try to do.But,im tryimg to jumo down to .5 which seems easy enuff,but is reaaly a bit difficult for some reason.

And sorry,i think the paragraph i cut amd pasted had words or phrases doubled.
 
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Hello, im new to the site and have some questions about suboxins... how do I go about posting a thread
 
^ Post right here.

Gosh I am on 8mg a day and tapering off benzos finally down to 1.5mg clonazepam. I really am thinking about jumping off them I have about 80mg left sub,. 20mg clon... I wonder if I can make it. I want to be able to smoke weed again!!!!
 
I've taken my sub's out of country multiple times... Are you not prescribed them or something?
Is bupe illegal in whatever country you're going to?

Anyway with a taper the withdrawal definitely sucks, but is nothing compared to OC withdrawal.
 
Bup w/d Hell

I've read every post listed on Bup w/d and can feel each one. I'm on day 9 after my last dose. I did taper, knowing I couldn't afford my next appt., even skipping days, and thought it would be no big deal, yeah right! I've w/d from every narcotic and this is a bitch. Each day is worse, not easier. I admit, the restless leg and pain is much worse w/ methadone or OxyContin. I never realize I'd be in pure agony. Day 5 my BP rose to 156/200 and I was having crushing chest pains. I called for medical advice and they called 911. I had to deal w/ the cops then the ER which was slammed the night b4 Thxgiving. I brought my empty Rx bottle and had my pharmacy history downloaded on my phone, and for first time ever was treated w/ respect. EMT always starts a IV, but I wasn't treated for dehydration. I let the dr know I had not eaten in a week (nothing) and couldn't hold down liquids. My EKG was normal and they needed to turnover beds. He handed me a script for 10 (TEN????) 5mg of Norco (2last @ least 5 days thru holiday wkend???)Every Dr I called Fri after Thxgiving closed. Before I was on Bup., 50 mg of hydro was one dose! I have a few Valium left, that I was taking by the handful in the beginning- still w/ that kind of BP, and Nuerontin which IS a must for Bup w/d. At least W/Nuerontin I sleep 2-4 hrs. a night. But now I can not even get out of bed! I have not eaten in almost 10 days, or have food in my house if I was hungry, and can no longer hold down liquid. I've had no more than 8 oz of liquid in days; enuff to wash down pills. I have to testify in court in a week! (Crime victim) If I don't, the bastard who tried to take me out will walk. Not to mention, I'll appear as a nutcase on the stand, and may vomit on the defense atty. (he'd deserve it, but have to appear strong) Any suggestions Id appreciate. I've been clean 3 yrs on Bup., never failed drug test. Can't score if I wanted to, ditched former contacts. Wouldn't trust anyone where I live to buy. Methadone clinic is 90 day wait list. Can't smoke chronic or I'll get paraniod as hell. Tried to get into inpatient but I know from experience just because you sign in voluntarily they can hold you, at least in FL. I'm SOL. ANY suggestions appreciated! Thx
Btw: I tapered from 32mgs down to 4 mg., I know 2 much 2 soon.
 
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Is CaptainHeroin.still around???..im having a hard time dropping from .25mcg....and sometimes finding myself taking '25mcg twice in a day,which i really dont wana do...im not sire what im tryna ask..but i been in the subs for about 3-4years.ive.almost been in opiates total for around 8years...i wana ask my doc.for gabapentin as.it has helped me a hell of alot wen ive ran out of.opiates.but he gaveme clonidine and hydroxyzine.which.i am saving most.for when i completely stop taking these.damn.subs(which im finding really hard.to do) i also have about 2oz of kratom.

One thing id like to know is if im.taking .25mcg twice/daily.how much.has accumulated in my body?..like around 2-3mg or so..i think that bit of info will help.me in my tapering process.
 
Was just wondering, if somebody just shoots their subs will their w/d be shorter since the half life is shorter, or is it just like Under the tounge/up the butt/ or nose??
 
Was just wondering, if somebody just shoots their subs will their w/d be shorter since the half life is shorter, or is it just like Under the tounge/up the butt/ or nose??

when i was injecting my suboxone, i was doing atleast 500mcg every 12 hrs, by 24hrs i would start to be in WD. my withdrawals were fucking long, but i did not have terrible physical WD. well, i just didnt have that much nausea like people say they get. i would get really bad cramps in my legs, i wouldnt be able to stay comfortable, i would have hot flashes then cold shakes, no appetite, ect.... but for me, i was off suboxone for around month, then i got back on for another 30 days, then started to WD again. that shit SUCKEDDD! do not do what i did, i drew out the WD wayyy longer than it had to be. the worst part to buprenorphine WD is the PAWS. they fucking blow because they last sooooooooooo fucking long. like i had no energy for 60-90 days, after the first 30 days. i slept like 12-16 hrs a day. and had terrible anhedonia and no energy or drive to do ANYTHING!! it was awful. i mean while i did start to come around after 30 days, i really didnt feel anything relatable to normal for ~90 days. god that shit suckss

Is CaptainHeroin.still around???..im having a hard time dropping from .25mcg....and sometimes finding myself taking '25mcg twice in a day,which i really dont wana do...im not sire what im tryna ask..but i been in the subs for about 3-4years.ive.almost been in opiates total for around 8years...i wana ask my doc.for gabapentin as.it has helped me a hell of alot wen ive ran out of.opiates.but he gaveme clonidine and hydroxyzine.which.i am saving most.for when i completely stop taking these.damn.subs(which im finding really hard.to do) i also have about 2oz of kratom.

One thing id like to know is if im.taking .25mcg twice/daily.how much.has accumulated in my body?..like around 2-3mg or so..i think that bit of info will help.me in my tapering process.


Captain heroin was injecting his suboxone which is why he could get by on .25mcg daily. are you sure you are taking 0.25 micrograms per day? are you sure you arent taking 250mcg a day, or .25mg per day? i know CPT heroin quite well and i think the least he would take would be like around ~150 mcg per day, how do you even measure 0.25mcg? how are you taking your buprenorphine? and there is no way to really tell how much suboxone is in your system now without doing urine/blood tests. no one knows how fast or how slow your body process buprenorphine. there are just too many factors.

definitely get some gabapentin if you can. lyrica is better. they help so much with WD. i would jump off the dosage you are at, wait 2-3 days, then get on a kratom, gabapentin, clonidine, and loperamide taper. i cant really give you an accurate taper process if i dont know the ROA you are using to take your suboxone.

i would get down to 100-300mcg IV (0.1mg - 0.3mg) or 0.5mg SL per day, then stabalize with the help of gabapentin, clonidine and loperamide and hydroxyzine to sleep. also if you cn get your hands on some type of benzo to take at night for sleep i would definitely recommend it adding it in to your taper. also get some naproxen sodium(aleve) to help with muscle aches. . then go 2 days clean of the suboxone and start taking 5g of kratom 3 x a day with the rest of your taper drugs for 5 days, then 3g kratom 3x a day for 5 days w/ taper drugs, then 3g kratom twice a day for 5 days, then nothing but the rest of your taper drugs
 
I take my sub intranasally..i take an 8mg strip,cut it in 8 seperate 1mg pieces,then cut a 1mg piece into 4 pieces..so thats .25mg..or 250mcg.so.its.kinda hard to cut that any further.and i dont have any needles,only oral syringes so im not sure if i can do liquid measuring or not..
And i saw somewhere on a thread showing approx how much sub is accumulated by how much u take daily.so thats why i asked.i lost some will power tho and dosed that .25mg two times a day a few days,and one or two days i dosed three times..im not sure why because i dont have cravings for opiates per say..if i.had more money for weed and.benzos i wud only take .25 once.a day..i prefer weed and benzos more than opiates...im just trying.to get.off this damn suboxone,i cant stand the withdraws.what gets me most is the restlessness,especially in my legs,and whole body really andthe anxiety.which i.have anyway.and of course the hot.flashes.and.cold sweats....i dont get.nausea,but i get diarrhea obviously which don't bother me.i think being bored and unemployed makes.me.takemore suboxone.i am starting to exercise tho,which im hoping will help me jump off the.subs.
 
I also worry about the length of withdraws..when i went to inpatient in 09 for heroin,i didnt have.energy the whole time and felt just.shitty..and they only.gave those with heroin addiction suboxone for 3.days..so i know i wasnt feelinh crappy the whole time from that...when i left rehab.i felt so different..of course...it was like.i was on a low dose of some kind of hallucinogen,u know.the bright lights,i cud feel slight breezes easily and alot.more.than wen i was on dope..and i guess i was kinda scared i guess.becaise.i felt so different.i guess i felt more,or everything.as.it really was,idk...and for.some.reason ever since ive left.rehab weed gives me anxiety,bit.only for a day or two.and i def dont smoke likr i used to..i ised to smoke 2gram blunts,and gram spliffs to the.dome..now a gram lasts me around 5 or 6 days.which im actually glad about.
I think if i had acess to high.cbd marijuana,and of course ur standard high grade bud with thc between 8-20%,id be straight..bit since.high cbd.is kinda.scarce unless i get a medical mj card,then.its hard to get.
Im hopinh i.can.convince.my.doctor.to let.meue medical mj for helping me with my.withdraws,also for my hep c.i live in new.hamshire so its legal for medical purposes...but.i can also get medical buds easily now if i wany...actually every.time i.do get.bid,its always.medical..especially since.im literally 2 mins away from maine.And everyone here.and over.the.border in maine smokes weed.
 
I take my sub intranasally..i take an 8mg strip,cut it in 8 seperate 1mg pieces,then cut a 1mg piece into 4 pieces..so thats .25mg..or 250mcg.so.its.kinda hard to cut that any further.and i dont have any needles,only oral syringes so im not sure if i can do liquid measuring or not..
And i saw somewhere on a thread showing approx how much sub is accumulated by how much u take daily.so thats why i asked.i lost some will power tho and dosed that .25mg two times a day a few days,and one or two days i dosed three times..im not sure why because i dont have cravings for opiates per say..if i.had more money for weed and.benzos i wud only take .25 once.a day..i prefer weed and benzos more than opiates...im just trying.to get.off this damn suboxone,i cant stand the withdraws.what gets me most is the restlessness,especially in my legs,and whole body really andthe anxiety.which i.have anyway.and of course the hot.flashes.and.cold sweats....i dont get.nausea,but i get diarrhea obviously which don't bother me.i think being bored and unemployed makes.me.takemore suboxone.i am starting to exercise tho,which im hoping will help me jump off the.subs.


ohh, i understand. at first you said 0.25 MICROGRAMS. which is ridiculously hard to measure. you meant to say 0.25mg.. and NO!! do not start injecting it. keep to using it under your tongue. let me say, keep up the great work!! you can do this man, if i can get off opiates and suboxone, so can you!! you are doing a lot better than i was doing too. i ended up jumping off at 2mg sublingual.

listen bro, if you are really looking to get off that shitty suboxone. i would not postpone it any longer. i would just go cold turkey. getting down to less than .25mg a day is really really hard sublingually. you are almost taking nothing at all!!

however, i might honestly suggest staying on it for a little longer. you need to have a fulfilling life outside of drugs to really be successful. trust me!! i would recommend getting a job, or going back to school, or atleast volunteering to start. get into a routine of staying busy along with exercising and proper diet. how is your social life? do you have a girlfriend / boyfriend? are you surrounded by people who love you? how is your relationship with your parents and your family? do you live alone, or with your parents/family, or with a roommate?

i would hate to see you getting off the suboxone, and not being satisfied with your life and going back to using opiates! trust me. it happens to the best of us! that is what kind of happened to me, i started taking kratom, i had no social life, lived alone, and worked at job that i absolutely fucking hated 45-50hrs a week. i ended up finding some hydrocodone, one thing led to the next and i started doing heroin again.

i would keep yourself at .25mg 3x a day. you might think this is taking a back step, but really you arent taking that much at all. .75mg a day, multiplied by 0.30 to take into acount for the 30% BA of sublingual buprenorphine leaves you with a very small amount of .25mg of buprenorphine circulating your system at one time. that is nothing man, i jumped off at 2mg before, and 1mg.

i really suggest you try to limit your intake of benzos and weed, and go out and stay productive and keep exercising! first things first is that you need to find a job everyone needs money to survive, or if not a job i definitely recommend going back to school so you can pursue a job that you would be interested. but sometimes going back to school is not an option. so i suggest finding any job to start with, well i have worked in fast food before and it fucking sucked, but if you are really strapped for cash you got to do what you have to do, right? but if you have some support financially coming from somewhere, i would try to find a job that is not too stressful. once you find that, another important part of staying clean is having fun without drugs.. you can probably meet people who you work with too and hang out with them, see what common interests you share and follow that... is there any hobbies you like? any sports you like to play? can you join a recreational team? maybe join a band if you play instruments, or a book club if you like to read, or maybe a spanish club if you want to learn spanish, or a car club, or anime and comic books, or meet people that like to do art things. i dont know man, whatever you like to do, find it!! because trust me, while everyone loves money, starting jobs are not the funnest..and sooner than later that little voice is going to creep back into your head one day when you are bored watching tv and it will tell you that a nice shot of dope or some oxycodone pills or whatever opiate you like will make everything feel better. it happens to the best of us.

that is why i think you should stay on suboxone for now until you find ways to keep yourself occupied and have fun and build your self esteem. some people like AA and NA meetings, and they are a great place to meet people within your age group who can support you and have common goals. i am not into the 12 step thing and i dont go to meetings anymore (i tried it, it wasnt for me) but many people do quite well in AA and NA meetings.

once you have a job, and a good support group, i think it would be better for you to try to get off the suboxone. you will have more reasons for you get off aswell. if you are worried about how you are going to work, you could schedule a 2 week vacation 6 months from the time you get hired. most places will let you have an unpaid vacation without repercussions if you give them adequate time in advance.

after the worst part of physical WD passes, the next part is the most crucial (and most difficult IMO). while physical WD blows donkey dick and i wouldnt wish serious WD on anyone, i always have the hardest time staying clean, and not getting clean because i always start out with good intentions and that pain and those memories of being addicted are still fresh in my mind, but after a while i forget to lose my purpose and i end up going back to heroin if i dont stay busy and have goals. nothing is worse than getting over WD and then just sitting at home bored. the mental anguish and anxiety is the hardest part for me.


and you can make preparations for the time you want to withdrawal too, on your 2 week vacation, you can have a sitter with you so that you dont get the urge to go out and get high, and before you actually go completely opiate free, you can already start tapering onto kratom and taking and gathering other medications to help you go through withdrawal. or if you have health insurance or your parents can help you out, you can go into a 2 week detox facility who will supply you with all the medication you need, but i always prefer to be at my own house/


best of luck. as i said before, i would wait until you get a job and pursue some hobbies , get a group of really good friends and a good support group. or if you dont want to do that (which i definitely dont suggest) i wouldnt keep drawing out any longer than it needs to be. you are already at the lowest dose. i would just go cold turkey.

if i were you i would stick it out on the suboxone for ~6months longer as you seem to be doing really well on and using it as scripted. i am not as much concerned about you smoking weed, but be careful about getting dependent on benzodiazepenes, the benzo WD is much much much much worse than having to go through opiate withdrawal/
 
Oh i only.mentioned the syringes because of.liquid.measuring...and i have social anxiety,i get very.timid.around people i.dont.know,even judt going into walmart gives me amxiety,i always feel as if ppl are always looking at me and saying or thinking things..but if im on gabapentin,i.dont have that feeling.also in some other things too.
Ive had a gf for.the past 6 years,altho she is 17yrs older..i also have a son,but.currently he.is with my parents about 8hours drive away in Baltimore..after rehab in 09,i kinda messed up weni.got out amd smoked.crack.with my 'be jest friend'..i dont blame him fot mu choices,but he.also cudvt not waved a loaded crackpipe in my face too..anyways he ended up.getting 30 fukun yrs in prison for burglarys and also.had a long.drug record.i had no clue he was that far gone...anyway i left bmore and came up to.new hampshire,where my other friend was just.to get away..amd i ended up messing around withmy now gf,who.at the time was married..i know that.sounds horrible...but were still together...but honestly im mot sure if i.shid.stay with her..altho she.is the one with the subs.i miss my son terribly,and.i get depressed over.it alot..i swear almosy every single night i dream about him.thats how much hes in my mind.i do talk to him tho on the phone,and we also Tango(video chat).hes 10yrs olf..i had him 10 months after graduating from highschool.i was a young father.But im glad hes with my parents.his.mom left us.both.wen he was just 2yrs old.she ended up stripping amd strung out in dope..noe shrs a flatout whore whos.on methadone amd smokes crack..LIFE HUH?...
But i dont take my.subs sublinguallu,i.snort em..i dissolve in water and snort it.But i thoughy that i wud havr.about 1 or 2mg built up in my system if im taking what im on now,are h sure i only have .25mg in my system?
As for work,its.hard.getting arounf this.small town with no car.most.stores round here are mostly all in one spot.a good amount of them tho.im seeing a doctor,and i told him about my issues..i have PTSD,major depressive disorder,general anxiety disorder,and social anxiety...i just seem to find myself stuck i guess.idk wat ima do...but i think if i decided to move back to baltimore,ill need to find a job to.save.money up.and if decide to go back,ima need to be.off suboxone,because i wont have theaess to it like i d
 
Oh i only.mentioned the syringes because of.liquid.measuring...and i have social anxiety,i get very.timid.around people i.dont.know,even judt going into walmart gives me amxiety,i always feel as if ppl are always looking at me and saying or thinking things..but if im on gabapentin,i.dont have that feeling.also in some other things too.
Ive had a gf for.the past 6 years,altho she is 17yrs older..i also have a son,but.currently he.is with my parents about 8hours drive away in Baltimore..after rehab in 09,i kinda messed up weni.got out amd smoked.crack.with my 'be jest friend'..i dont blame him fot mu choices,but he.also cudvt not waved a loaded crackpipe in my face too..anyways he ended up.getting 30 fukun yrs in prison for burglarys and also.had a long.drug record.i had no clue he was that far gone...anyway i left bmore and came up to.new hampshire,where my other friend was just.to get away..amd i ended up messing around withmy now gf,who.at the time was married..i know that.sounds horrible...but were still together...but honestly im mot sure if i.shid.stay with her..altho she.is the one with the subs.i miss my son terribly,and.i get depressed over.it alot..i swear almosy every single night i dream about him.thats how much hes in my mind.i do talk to him tho on the phone,and we also Tango(video chat).hes 10yrs olf..i had him 10 months after graduating from highschool.i was a young father.But im glad hes with my parents.his.mom left us.both.wen he was just 2yrs old.she ended up stripping amd strung out in dope..noe shrs a flatout whore whos.on methadone amd smokes crack..LIFE HUH?...
But i dont take my.subs sublinguallu,i.snort em..i dissolve in water and snort it.But i thoughy that i wud havr.about 1 or 2mg built up in my system if im taking what im on now,are h sure i only have .25mg in my system?
As for work,its.hard.getting arounf this.small town with no car.most.stores round here are mostly all in one spot.a good amount of them tho.im seeing a doctor,and i told him about moy issues..i have PTSD,major depressive disorder,general anxiety disorder,and social anxiety...i just seem to find myself stuck i guess.idk wat ima do...but i think if i decided to move back to baltimore,ill need to find a job to.save.money up.and if decide to go back,ima need to be.off suboxone,because i wont have theaess to it like i do now.and i dont wana go on subs in bmore.
 
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