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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

BL/TDS Self-Harm Support: Thread 4

Well ZAP I'm really glad that nothing became of the blood test, and that you got the cut attended to properly. I'm sure you'll be glad that the scar won't be as big as it would've been if you just left it to heal on its own. I hope work is okay today, please take care of yourself <3
 
cutters cut!

ive often heard of cutters ,people cutting themselves for somekind of satisfaction.
while im not a cutter i do occasionally burn myself with a cigarette or a hot lighter. i have embarrasing scars on both arms and legs. i have always seemed to get satisafaction from pain.

one of my earliest memories is of me at 4-5- yrs old outside catching yellow jackets as they lit on dandelions. i would grab them and squeeze until i was stung. then grab another ,and another.
i remember my mom scolding me while running my swollen lil hands under the cold water spigot.

even today i dont mind a good bee sting occasionally although i dont search them out. a cigarette seems to suffice just fine. as soon as i touch myself with it i get this intense tingling that starts in my lower back and travels up my spine and throughout my scalp. sometimes i will get my wife to pinch the nape of my neck, just a little skin between her nails sends waves of pleasure throughout my body. works wonders for headache or tension . is this absolute crazy and are there others who have these feelings? also i hate to be tickled i get extremely angry from being tickled, wtf? mods sorry if this isnt posted in the right place please dont delete i am really curious if there are others who have these feelings. is this why cutters cut?



i also get a very similair feeling after having gone 12 or more hours with out oxy and then when i finally get my fix i get these same chills running up and down my spine feels so good sometimes i torture myself by going as long as possible without and then dosing.
 
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I believe there's a whole self injury section on one of the forums here, a mod will probably point you there. As for why I cut myself (severely) "I felt like it" is all I've managed to say to people. I think it scratched an itch I couldn't otherwise reach. *shrug*
 
Hey charcoal and Eternal Damnation!
Being a mod, its not just about pointing someone to the right area(aka bureaucracy! ;))
Personally, have been cutting for many years. Havn't in the past ten but I still get the 'feelings'/ 'urges'. So I do get it.
The reason for cutting is manyfold...it is both unique to each individuals experience and also holds a collective comparison. The only reason, from a TDS point of view; that anyone is directed to the 'Self Harm prevention Thread' is that, there is information on the situation and also about other Self Harmers experience's, on there-that is all. It isnt a 'Fobbing off' or dismissal.
As a self-harmer, this is not part of my own personal ethical structure and would hate if any of you felt this way about the situation, or what TDS was about. :(<3


...if you want to share your experience or feelings/queries-this is the place to do it! You are not alone on here; this is a community for sharing struggles and empowering ourselves within the context of our own vulnerabilities/flaws/strengths/whatever brings us here.<3
 
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Idk a year and a half maybe since I cut last.
I would have to find medical records to know for sure.
I guess it had to be that bad to scare me.
But lately I've been under some extreme stress, anxiety and filled with a strange emptiness, with no way to express that...cutting comes back.
Add hopelessness to that and the suicidal crap pops up. I don't want to act of this shit!
I've been ignoring it. But still I thought I was in recovery. Hell my scars BOTHER me.
I want to do something about them but nothing is going to work. No cute summer clothes for PT I guess. But that is neither here nor there.
Just wanted to let that out to someone that GETS where I'm coming from.
 
Pillthrill said:
Hell my scars BOTHER me.
I want to do something about them but nothing is going to work. No cute summer clothes for PT I guess. But that is neither here nor there.
Just wanted to let that out to someone that GETS where I'm coming from.
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I totally know about this.... I have these huge fucking scars up my inner arms from a suicide attempt a few months ago and am currently back home living with my folks who I've been - successfully - hiding said scars from. REAL BIG pain in the arse though.

To quote another TDSer, it's a real "double whammy" for us cutters: the original attempt/incident and THEN the aftermath of scars to deal with every fucking day.

It's like, OK! I GET IT ALREADY! Can I lose the scars the now?
 
I totally hear ya David. I've had to deal with pretty obvious scars (as in, it's obvious what caused them) for over a decade. It can be awkward and disheartening in itself, let alone all the rest of the shit we are trying to deal with!!

Have your cuts fully healed? Not even any of that soft white flaky scab tissue left? If so, I urge you to try Bio-Oil.
bio-oil2.jpg


It is a medium- to long-term solution so do not expect quick results, and quite frankly you won't get a quick scar-reduction results with any other products as well. You can use make-up to cover them, and there is some really expensive "fake-skin" spray which covers scars impeccibly. But I doubt you want to pay for that.

I have been applying Bio-Oil on and off for the last 3 years, 2-3 times a day, every day for about 2-3 months at a time. After that I kinda lose the habit of doing it, until I remember again. My worst scars are some big keloid scars on my legs, and they are really really obviously self-harm, because they are perfectly symmetrical on both legs.....how could that have happened by accident?! 8) Anyway, with all of the Bio-Oil I've used over the last few years, the scars have really improved. They are lighter in colour (they used to be an angry glowing red colour), and the scar tissue is much softer. My goal is to soften the tissue enough so that it will hold tattoo ink, and get them tattoo'd over. I was hoping that would be achievable before this summer but I think I'll have to keep using the Bio-Oil for another year before they're ready. I would prefer to wait another excruciatingly hot summer of wearing long pants/skirts and get the tatts done properly, rather than be too hasty and have the ink fade/bleed out of them.

Anyway, yeah, Bio-Oil is a winner for sure. There are other scar-reduction creams/ointments on the market but from anecdotal accounts that I've read on the net and of course from my own experience, Bio-Oil is the most effective scar-reduction product.

<3
 
My friend cuts herself. Saturday night she was drunk and I was trying to comfort her, but I fell asleep texting her. She sliced into her leg. I don't know what to think. I try telling her things, but I can only do so much:/
 
Is this the same friend who is suicidal badfish?? You are in a really hard situation man, because you want to help her so much :( And to have your attempts to help her be to no avail can make you feel pretty powerless. The best thing you can do is just keep doing what you're doing. Be the supportive and loving friend that you have been, and guide her towards getting help if you can.

If you think she is realistically in danger of killing herself, maybe you should consider tell her parents or something?? Do you think that's an option? Do you think her parents know what she's currently going through?
 
It is the same friend. It's a rough story with her parents, long story short, her dad slings. I am there for her, but I'm just worried. It's a tough fucking situation. I don't want to lose her.
 
some days I think it would be nice to have some sort of release. Just a temporary escape (or maybe expression?).
I get caught in these fucking thoughts of being less than and I want to punish myself for it. It ain't gonna happen because I know what it'll bring shortly after, deeper feelings of worthlessness. So I just gotta stew in it until it passes. I don't have to dwell in the negative but its easier because its more familiar. Just another choice.

I'm not going to hurt myself but I sure would like to unleash on someone else. No one in particular. Just someone

Sorry, my thought processes get fucked when I'm tired. Tomorrow will be the culmination of those fucked thoughts if I don't sleep at some point after work tomorrow.

meh, it'll pass. It'd sure be nice to have someone fuck with me instead
 
glitter kiss, hold out longer. its just not worth it to start the whole process over again. What's going on recently that is making you feel like this?
 
its just lately i cant get my self out of this deep depression i know it doesnt make any sense but at least with cutting i can control the pain
 
I know it feels like that, lovely, but you know it will spiral and you will start to need it, and then you aren't in control anymore - it is..

You say you've gone so long - why have you gone so long? Why did you want to quit and what has kept you away? Hold onto those things <3

I don't know where you are based, chances are not the UK, but there is an excellent website I have found for supporting people who self harm - the link is here if you are interested, I don't think it matters where you are from :)

There is also some really good info here - again it's from the Royal College of Psychiatrists in the UK but I think it explains it really well and has some good coping mechanisms to try instead of self-harming.

Why do you think your depression is so bad now? Are you getting treatment?

Take care of yourself glitter_kiss <3 come and talk to us on here whenever you feel like harming yourself, or tell us more abou your depression. If often really helps to get it down in words <3
 
glitter_kiss said:
its just lately i cant get my self out of this deep depression i know it doesnt make any sense but at least with cutting i can control the pain
Click to expand...

There's other ways you can control pain.

My advice, is to take a 30 minute walk outside, just to observe nature and to get some exercise. Even if at first you feel the same, by the end, you should at least feel a little better. :) It works like a charm every time I am upset.

I am not going to judge you for whatever you decide to do, but I'm always here if you want to send me a PM. I know sometimes just being able to share what's getting you down can help.
 
Captain.Heroin said:

My advice, is to take a 30 minute walk outside, just to observe nature and to get some exercise. Even if at first you feel the same, by the end, you should at least feel a little better. :) It works like a charm every time I am upset.
Click to expand...
Absolutely. Good advice C.H :)
I have been using exercise a LOT lately to release pent-up emotions and stress. It works so well.
 
Just wanted to say briefly that going outside is a good idea because sunlight stimulates the brain and produces chemicals to improve mood.

Here's a small article... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7591342.stm

I've heard it's why some people get addicted to tanning beds. But I don't know a ton about this honestly.

Just saying, the idea of taking a 30 minute walk is a very good idea and seemingly supported by evidence. Of course sunlight is the thing you're looking to get more of so I guess if it's cold and dark outside you might get a negative effect.
 
hey guys i quit morphine 20 days ago and since then ive been getting back into self harm as a coping method as opposed to opiate/opioid abuse (which has been my coping method of choice for years). Just wondering if anyone can suggest anything, i try to use relaxation techniques to calm myself, going outside in the sun definetely works but i usually am most depressed (and inclined to act upon urges) in the evening/early morning hours once im worn out.

Ive come to realise i have a huge lack in coping resources now that ive quit opes :/ although as wds/paws subside it may become easier, i am worried as i have had depression and social phobia since i was a child
 
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