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Anyone feel trapt in the mental health system?

Isnortice91

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 2, 2019
Messages
452
Since 2017 because my court ordered probation I've been stuck in the department of mental health. I have to take a Invega injection once every 3 months as part of my probation. But now things just got 100x worse because I'm not living with my dad anymore and my dad won't let me live with him I got help from one of the case workers at the mental health department to get public section 8 housing , I will have my own apartment in 2 weeks but the catch is I can only have it if I continue treatment . My doctor recently told me I only have to take the Invega injection one more time.
But I will be taking Risperdal for now on.
I feel like I'm going to become a old person who still has to show up to mental health department for check ups and it feels weird .
I never heard any voices or seen things while being sober but I said allot of crazy shit to the doctor so I can get a doctor's note for court.
I feel scared all the time , and feel like the only way out is to violently snap and do bad things that will make me end up on CNN news or something. I feel like I'm a animal stuck in a cage and this injection only makes it worse. I get so angry that doctors think they can just inject you with something just because you said crazy shit. I feel like the only way out is death.
I wish my dad can let me stay with him but I'm 29 now . I miss my Kaiser healthcare plan covered by my dad's insurance but that ended when I turned 26 😟. How come Kaiser never treated me like an animal?
How come Kaiser never injected me like I'm a bad person?.
How come when I was at Kaiser I could say all the crazy shit I wanted and could say I stopped taking my pills and the psychiatrist at Kaiser would not get angry and allow me to quit medication.
Man I hate the mental health system .
I feel the only way to fix these problems is if I one day am in a position of power like some military dictator and I could send these doctors to concentration camps when I think of that I kind of feel happy again .
 

AlphaMethylPhenyl

Moderator: MH
Staff member
Joined
Jul 2, 2008
Messages
8,089
Location
Liminal
if I one day am in a position of power like some military dictator and I could send these doctors to concentration camps when I think of that I kind of feel happy again .
Though maybe you don't mean it, saying that kind of thing will get you all kind of the attention that you're not looking for. If you say that kind of thing to the institution, they will freak. Every. Time.

Why not try to better yourself? Do things to promote your health. Volunteer. Visit family. Something like that. You won't feel as bad about yourself. Once you get used to it, helping others becomes a real joy to do! The same with things that take effort but that really help your own health.

No. Death is wrong. I'm sure that there are people that care about your well-being. Also, in a few years things could be entirely different. This is a tough phase.

Public and private insurances differ. Sounds like they didn't want to pay for something that they didn't need to pay for. Typical. Not a necessarily right nor wrong decision, but they don't care about the ethics of the matter I'm pretty sure.

There's stigma and some doctors and health professionals can be cold. But you can find good friends that treat you well. I'm sure.

Invega seems to put a lot of people in a bad place. I'm sure though, that there are people who find it helpful. It does need time: several months or more to work for the "negative" symptoms of schizophrenia.

It's never too late to better yourself, friend!
 

checktest

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
340
Location
The Aether
Volunteering, part-time jobs, finding a new group or hobby even if you don't connect to it, all can be helpful. The case worker got you some place to live, so there is progress. You are getting through a tough time and can make progress on getting out of the court system. Find some good you can stand for and people you can support. Maybe channel the anger into a productive passion, not an outburst of violence. It is scary, but there

Death won't help, won't produce good, and will harm the people like your Dad and others in your life. You'll miss out on valuable people you have yet to meet, new experiences. I tried to commit suicide, and have been thankful for not making that happen.

Lots of people require regular mental health care throughout their lives, not just old people. Bipolar, schizophrenia, anxiety, recurrent depression.

[C]ourt ordered probation
A legal reason for implementing some treatment for pleaded insanity after some incident with your brother, where apparently your father now doesn't want you around

I never heard any voices or seen things while being sober but I said allot of crazy shit to the doctor so I can get a doctor's note for court.
I'd fess up to wanting to get out of jail time / malingering by feigning insanity rather than take antipsychotics...if you don't need them and aren't clinically insane per your stance. Make clear that you said stuff purposefully if that is indeed the case. As well as insight into the situation and drug aspect. Otherwise you'll be seen as someone who did something violent requiring a court visit and pleading insanity.

I get so angry that doctors think they can just inject you with something just because you said crazy shit.
Expressions of violent comments are viewed through a different lens after any action has been taken, however the situation may have arisen. You can say 'fucked-up shit' for years and not get much changed, but when you do something that could be related to violence, even or especially under the influence of stimulants/drugs, some people take the words differently. Getting out of jail after an altercation by pleading insanity, one might expect some sort of treatment and follow-up to manage the situation and watch for stability. You did something tangible, in the eyes of the court and likely insurers. Not just crazy words to doctors. Threats and imminent danger to yourself and/or others are cause for concern. Not a get out of jail and not take treatment because you don't want to kind of scenario. Unless I'm misunderstanding the situation and this court order happened when you were on Kaiser in the past.

But vaguely threatening things (against mental professionals) with a history of some violent action without demonstrated insight won't fly and won't help your case. You gotta express the right things and recognize the situation, not give heft/validity/concern around the insanity ruling with violent outbursts or megalomaniacal fantasies against mental professionals with a WWII bent.

[Humans can absolutely think up (and make reality) some pretty messed-up junk. Sane and not. Darkness and creativity and everything. I digress.]


Beat the system with your courage to renew yourself and make healthy change. Do what good you need to get through without harm, and keep communicating/exploring. Alternate strategies and talking about your anger, focusing into productive means may be useful. Give yourself some time.

Good luck.
 

Isnortice91

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 2, 2019
Messages
452
Volunteering, part-time jobs, finding a new group or hobby even if you don't connect to it, all can be helpful. The case worker got you some place to live, so there is progress. You are getting through a tough time and can make progress on getting out of the court system. Find some good you can stand for and people you can support. Maybe channel the anger into a productive passion, not an outburst of violence. It is scary, but there

Death won't help, won't produce good, and will harm the people like your Dad and others in your life. You'll miss out on valuable people you have yet to meet, new experiences. I tried to commit suicide, and have been thankful for not making that happen.

Lots of people require regular mental health care throughout their lives, not just old people. Bipolar, schizophrenia, anxiety, recurrent depression.


A legal reason for implementing some treatment for pleaded insanity after some incident with your brother, where apparently your father now doesn't want you around



I'd fess up to wanting to get out of jail time / malingering by feigning insanity rather than take antipsychotics...if you don't need them and aren't clinically insane per your stance. Make clear that you said stuff purposefully if that is indeed the case. As well as insight into the situation and drug aspect. Otherwise you'll be seen as someone who did something violent requiring a court visit and pleading insanity.


Expressions of violent comments are viewed through a different lens after any action has been taken, however the situation may have arisen. You can say 'fucked-up shit' for years and not get much changed, but when you do something that could be related to violence, even or especially under the influence of stimulants/drugs, some people take the words differently. Getting out of jail after an altercation by pleading insanity, one might expect some sort of treatment and follow-up to manage the situation and watch for stability. You did something tangible, in the eyes of the court and likely insurers. Not just crazy words to doctors. Threats and imminent danger to yourself and/or others are cause for concern. Not a get out of jail and not take treatment because you don't want to kind of scenario. Unless I'm misunderstanding the situation and this court order happened when you were on Kaiser in the past.

But vaguely threatening things (against mental professionals) with a history of some violent action without demonstrated insight won't fly and won't help your case. You gotta express the right things and recognize the situation, not give heft/validity/concern around the insanity ruling with violent outbursts or megalomaniacal fantasies against mental professionals with a WWII bent.

[Humans can absolutely think up (and make reality) some pretty messed-up junk. Sane and not. Darkness and creativity and everything. I digress.]


Beat the system with your courage to renew yourself and make healthy change. Do what good you need to get through without harm, and keep communicating/exploring. Alternate strategies and talking about your anger, focusing into productive means may be useful. Give yourself some time.

Good luck.
Thanks. I think I suffer from anxiety issues the most. I want a pill for my anxiety .
I think if they can give me pill like the hospital gave me when I got food poisoning (went to the emergency room for food poisoning but did meth prior to the ambulance picking me up so they had to calm down my heart beat) they gave me IV Adivan to help me calm down, and it put me in a calm mood where laying down felt euphoric and joyful. If I can get Adivan pills I think I would be ok being in the mental health system because I will feel more relaxed and my anxiety will go away.
 

checktest

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
340
Location
The Aether
Anxiety and anxiety treatments are a good thing to talk about with your providers. Definitely being anxious and edgy can lead to irritability. Modern mental health systems aren't exactly the most relaxing places, haha.
 
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