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Serious Amphetamines and (domestic) violence

justdifferent

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
50
I'm sure it's not news to anyone that amphetamines, like alcohol, are linked to violence. But if my current situation is to be believed, it's quite appalling how at the present moment in Australia, amphetamines are at least a significant factor in domestic violence, especially ut not exclusively meth (more on that below...)

I'm on a women's shelter right now and every single woman I've talked to ha(about 6 families out of 8) has a partner who is addicted to meth. In my case,my ex did not take meth but he would binge on the dexamphetamine tablets he was prescribed for his ADD, and there's no doubt at all in my mind that 90 percent of the violence between us would not have happened had there not been amphetamines in the picture.

P not being a "Pollu Pure" btw- my ex and I had cp-dependent pill-swapping habits- he'd give me uppers in exchange for my downers and painkillers. And so I would sometimes binge on Dex as well, and definitely noticed that given the right context, I'd behave very aggressively. For example, spending hours sending him nasty texts. But unlike my ex I was simply not able to do hardcore sleep deprivation. And I wonder to what extent his really scary violence was caused by sleep deprivation.

Ex would routinely go 4-5 days without sleep. Sometimes a week. Of course in his mind he was okay-he didn't feel tired because every time it started to catch up with him-he'd just take more pills. He wasn't ordinarily violent or weird until about 72 hours with no sleep. After that, he'd start to get very weird, and at worst, very violent. His memory would go. For example he'd slap me, and I'd tell him next day or whatever that he'd slapped me, and reproach him, but he honestly seemed to not remember having hit me. This more than once led to further blows being exchanged.

I was not above retaliating and hitting him back, or even sometimes being the first out of the two of us to get violent (re my own violence: I am not proud of it, but I do believe that his violence was worse, because he was a very well-built, very strong guy, and easily capable of killing me with his bare hands if he felt like it, so when he got physical with me it was terrifying, sometimes extremely painful while it lasted, and of course he injured me quite often. Whereas at worst me hitting him was insulting, an affront to his dignity, but not "scary " in the real sense of the word).

All that aside, whether it was speed psychosis or just sleep deprivation (are these in fact often linked? I'm sure they must be) - the least forgivable stuff always happened after he'd been awake on Dex for days and days. The least forgivable thing for me was when he choked me or in any other way deprived me of oxygen (like shoving my face into the mattress). because it seemed so sadistic, more full of hatred than a punch or a shove could ever be.

I tried for a while to see even this as "not really him", just a result of the speed and not sleeping. Because I really adored him and I wanted to believe he reciprocated. But if a person deprives you of oxygen and seems to take satisfactions in seeing you desperately flail around for air, you just can't believe in their "love" anymore. And you don't feel the same way about them, either.

All the same (have a feeling the mods might bounce this post but I'll finish up !) I really don't think that he would've been capable of such nastiness were it not for amphetamine abuse. Of course not everyone whose binging on speed is bound to be violent. You could argue that people who get really violent or sadistic on speed have the germ of violence and sadism in their "natural" self but are normally inhibited from acting out.

I suppose the same could be said of booze-driven violence. I've got to say, though, that having experienced both (ex was not good on alcohol either) - the amphetamine-inspired violence was quite different and much worse. Alcohol might prompt a short-lived burst of anger, and very ugly acts, but it wasn't as lethal, as driven and sadistic-seeming as the violence that seemed to follow from amphetamine intoxication. The latter could go on for hours and even days. and whole on speed he was also incapable of remorse and would even defend his actions very self-righteously.

To conclude, according to my caseworkers in this shelter, 80 percent of the DV they see is linked to meth abuse. Obviously i wasn't always so - in the 1950s, for eg, alcohol was often perceived as the "cause", or one of the causes, of wife beating.

Thanks for letting me rant a bit and any thoughts/experiences on this subject would be welcome. It would be especially interesting to know the point of view of a man whose been involved with domestic violence because of amphetamines, although very understandably I doubt any men would want to share such a POV, out of shame. And it's a shame that Shame prevents men who've been violent from speaking out about their feelings, what sort of feelings informed their actions. Such sharing would be so constructive.
 

mal3volent

Moderator: TDS, S&G, TL
Staff member
Joined
Jun 6, 2011
Messages
8,420
I can't say I have any experience involving domestic violence. I've never been in a long term relationship with anyone. My parents hated each other but it was never physically violent.

Meth has gotten really bad around where I live as well. I'm not surprised by the numbers you mentioned, but it's quite sad. I'm glad you have removed yourself from that situation and I hope you continue to seek out professional help.
 

d1nach

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2016
Messages
3,040
Ummm drugs are not a excuse for abuse. Either he is abusive sober
Or makes the concience choice to take drugs knowing he gets abusive.

Either way he is choosing to abuse you.

Hes a adult not a baby anymore if you keep making stupid choices you get consequences.

I have like 24 beers in my fridge if i choose to drink all of them then kill my brother for sleeping with a girl i like does that make any difference?

I didnt need to drink 24 beers and i put my pleasure over the people i loves safety.
 

Burnt Offerings

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
4,525
Location
USA
Anyone who has any experiences with (meth)amphetamine-related subcultures can confirm that a certain element of violence & mayhem is always present. Like alcohol, it's a fairly "socially corrosive" substance.

Some people just handle stimulant-induced psychosis better than others I suppose!
 

PMS

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 3, 2012
Messages
128
Speed is no excuse for violent behaviour.

I have only once, or twice, over an eight-year period of injecting meth and speed, daily- gotten aggressive. never violent.
 

Nightrider19

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 8, 2019
Messages
293
I recently went through DV and now have. Protection order.

it was not drug related what soever and we had been apart for 5 years.

i am sorry you went through that, it’s a tough time ❤
 

Phobos

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 5, 2010
Messages
1,373
........
All that aside, whether it was speed psychosis or just sleep deprivation (are these in fact often linked? I'm sure they must be) - the least forgivable stuff always happened after he'd been awake on Dex for days and days. The least forgivable thing for me was when he choked me or in any other way deprived me of oxygen (like shoving my face into the mattress). because it seemed so sadistic, more full of hatred than a punch or a shove could ever be.

I tried for a while to see even this as "not really him", just a result of the speed and not sleeping. Because I really adored him and I wanted to believe he reciprocated. But if a person deprives you of oxygen and seems to take satisfactions in seeing you desperately flail around for air, you just can't believe in their "love" anymore. And you don't feel the same way about them, either.

All the same (have a feeling the mods might bounce this post but I'll finish up !) I really don't think that he would've been capable of such nastiness were it not for amphetamine abuse. Of course not everyone whose binging on speed is bound to be violent. You could argue that people who get really violent or sadistic on speed have the germ of violence and sadism in their "natural" self but are normally inhibited from acting out.

I suppose the same could be said of booze-driven violence. I've got to say, though, that having experienced both (ex was not good on alcohol either) - the amphetamine-inspired violence was quite different and much worse. Alcohol might prompt a short-lived burst of anger, and very ugly acts, but it wasn't as lethal, as driven and sadistic-seeming as the violence that seemed to follow from amphetamine intoxication. The latter could go on for hours and even days. and whole on speed he was also incapable of remorse and would even defend his actions very self-righteously.
......
Sleep deprivation is the cause of Amphetamine psychosis AFAIK, I am not sure you could take enough Dexedrine to go insane without having a stroke.
I have gone up to 3 or 3 and a half days up on speed and I would often start to be paranoid and hearing noises around the 48 hours up mark.
The 3rd day my vision would sometimes be distorted with walls or screens breathing.
That would make me stop, to me it was unacceptable that I had to go check there was no intruder in the house and have a metal pipe by my side to be calm.
My family noticed I would forget some small things here and there.
I was more persistent during arguments, perhaps slightly rude in a few occasions.
I find it unlikely that he did not have a violent nature of its own to begin with, but if he didn't he clearly damaged himself into having it.
Particularly the suffocating episodes are a sign that he is a horrible individual, do get a restraining order if you haven't already.
 
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