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Stimulants Amphetamine - The Drug You Learn to Hate

IVing ice every few weeks since April 2011 (first drug ever done, starting with IVing meth!)

Started to notice I cannot really withstand the cravings the last three times (this weekend, last weekend and a fortnigyt before). Each time, really compelled to do it, using every excuse to go one last last time...for a while...This time was my tattooist got me some really clean shit (and it was by the way).

Yes, I am geting worried. My famous willpower is bending. I have to hold up for a while...no excuses...
 
IVing ice every few weeks since April 2011 (first drug ever done, starting with IVing meth!)

Started to notice I cannot really withstand the cravings the last three times (this weekend, last weekend and a fortnigyt before). Each time, really compelled to do it, using every excuse to go one last last time...for a while...This time was my tattooist got me some really clean shit (and it was by the way).

Yes, I am geting worried. My famous willpower is bending. I have to hold up for a while...no excuses...

Ha ha yeah willpower doesn't really mean shit once you've been using meth long enough. I've always had incredible willpower when it comes to drugs. But meth? Shit. All of a sudden it's been six years since my first line. Don't get me wrong, it's not like i've ruined my life or anything like that. It's more of an annoyance. Meth starts to become the problem AND the solution. I'll binge, get sick of the shit, then ten days later like clockwork I'll start craving it like you wouldn't believe. I haven't quite figured out how to get past that ten day mark yet...
 
I've been on and off vyvance (d-amp) for about 3 years now, and I'm currently prescribed 70mg a day (40mg pill & 30mg pill)

I DEFINITIVELY have gotten quiet the tolerance, but I've learned to manage it well. SLEEP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR.

I'm sure you all know that if you regulary take amphetamines, but your body needs time to replace all the neurotransmitters. Also it takes 2 hours to kick in if I ate 30 mins or so prior.

I have gotten to actually like the diminished effect I get from vyvance, it's not that crazy euphoric high but I never crash anymore, and you end up not being annoying and bouncing off the walls when in social situations. I feel like this is a better treatment for ADHD and concentration issues, because it greatly helps with concentration/motivation/confidence without the "I will never shut the fuck up" side effect.

also multivitimans are important, as well as supplements. I heard 5HTP is really good, I take l tyrosine and magnesium though.

another tip, drink OJ and other vitamic C enchanced drinks at night to get it out of your system quickly, I noticed this helps a lot with the sleep issues they seem to give all too frequently. I now take ambien and it helps greatly, I just seem to get myself into some odd situations when I fail to actually sleep.

all in all it just comes to being responsible in regards to perscription amphetamines, I've noticed my tolerance only dramatically rises when I binge use. One night I took 200mg ish, crashed HARD and couldnt sleep, and had to take even more the next day to get through work sleep deprived. Defiantly not a fun experaince.
 
Amphetamine to me only feels good if I give it a month break, 3 months is prime. Feels like shit taking it on back to back days or any time on the same week even, at least that's just the way I feel.

Well I guess you could take triple the next day and get the same feeling, then feel horrible for a few days to follow.
 
Ha ha yeah willpower doesn't really mean shit once you've been using meth long enough. I've always had incredible willpower when it comes to drugs. But meth? Shit. All of a sudden it's been six years since my first line. Don't get me wrong, it's not like i've ruined my life or anything like that. It's more of an annoyance. Meth starts to become the problem AND the solution. I'll binge, get sick of the shit, then ten days later like clockwork I'll start craving it like you wouldn't believe. I haven't quite figured out how to get past that ten day mark yet...

So effing true!

For me, it is alomost identical. I tend to use Friday night / redose Sat morning, so as to be OK for work Monday. First week OK, second week good until I start thinking about it by Wednesday / Thursday.

By Friday afternoon, it has steamrolled my resistance. Always knew this could / would happen if I didn't keep control...And I had control until 3 fortnights ago...when the 3-4 weeks have become "want to use after 2"...
 
sry to bump such an old thread,but the things the OP said hit home.Im somewhere between stage 6-7 now but whats fucked up I was off this shit(meth) for a good three years. But I am seeing myself pick right back up where I started and honestly it scares the shit out of me.Not just for my sake either, but for the sake of those around me. I am doing what I swore to never do again,leading a person I love down the same path as me,both figuritavily and literally. Idk what to do anymore :( I originally started doing this shit because it helped me focus and get shit done (I am ADHD). I dont want to get to stage 8 or see the person I want to spend the rest of my life with go down that same trail :(
 
In advance, sorry for the extended and slightly over-thought post, but I feel that unless a change is radical, nothing is changed at all.

The only thing you will ever accomplish by doing meth, is doing meth. That is all, period the end. It's the end of everything you love, hope for, or could ever work towards. Because over the period of continually conforming your own life around meth, you unwillingly manipulate everything that is around you. Well, I say unwillingly, but fuck, the only thing you can think about on meth is meth.. and if you're still high, or if it's time to take some more. An object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. Things will never change unless you want them too.

And you have to want a different life. You have to really really fucking want a life without meth, permanently. Because until you put 100% of YOU into that decision, that demon you will always be there. You have to kill it. You have to eliminate that fucking demon that only wants the most material thing man can offer. While you're telling yourself you can make it work, meth rolls up the life you once lived and the one you could live and replaces everything irrefutably.

This isn't an easy thing. Your decision has to be one of a higher meaning. It has to change who you are and what you are going to do in life. Want greatness from yourself. I mean, fuck. This life can't be worth living if we have nothing to live for. I want to change the world. Even just a little. I want to truly live, because in just a small period of time I'm going to close my eyes and there will never be another chance to wake up again. I won't even get another chance to think about how truly awful life can be sometimes. Regardless of personal spiritual belief, you don't usually get more than 100 years to live.

(if there is a God you'll find me on Satan's select list of those sentenced to a slightly-more-unimaginable-Hell-then-eternal-damnation-already-is. like seriously, what fucking God makes Hell).

You have to want something better. And that's why nothing will change, if the change is simple. Because what sounds like "quitting" is not a simple thing. Deep down, we're afraid we will never be able to achieve fulfillment in life if we are sober. And that is a bigger change to make than just saying you are going to quit. Because every other mindset you could possibly have other than one free from drugs is one created by that slight part of you below 100%, knowing nothing's fucking changed at all, and you are still you.

It's sad how simple it really is. That the only thing you would have to do is not do anything at all. You would think we would be able to physically force ourselves not to, but thankfully superior intelligence allows us to be the masters of mind-fucking ourselves to our own demise. I guess God got tired of the angels' perfections, so He created us to want evil, to see if we could choose between good and self-destruction.

It's just the battle we have no choice in fighting, but one we must fight. So fight. You can do it. But only you can.
 
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Hard to do sense my best judgement got me to where I am today...trusting in myself is why I ended up addicted anyway...I trusted myself enough to think I wouldnt get addicted,but what happened ~.~
 
in reply to the title LIKE WHAT THE FUCK MAN LOL its the best of my habits half oz of good speed and i can do anything on it fill my nose get a sort nod going neck a gram walk 26 miles work 6 adys a week and not sleep for 4 days can you tell that i may have a little speed demon on my shoulder ? that and a nose full of mpa at the minute :)
 
Yeah when i was first Rx'd adderall around the age of 16, i abused it, but regardless i hardly ever got any "euphoria" that people were always bragging on addy for.
As a matter of fact i just got more high strung and paranoid(Avid marijuana smoker also, handle it very well by itself&in combo with good drugs).

I would sit in math class and put my head down and act asleep because i was somewhat felt good but was even more antisocial around the people i didn't socialize with, but pretty sociable with people i usually did socialize with.

So it's really a crapshit when it comes to adderall and all drugs for that matter.


I wish my dock would just give me Dilaudid for ADD....works wonders.
 
Nice post. I binge on amphetamine occasionally, and have almost no side effects/tolerance when I eat properly before sleeping and make sure to take vitamin pills.
 
I've used amphetamines for 7 years and I'm still stage 1. This topic fails@life. I expect to see:

- Literature
- Figures, percentages, graphs, analysis, mathematics...not just empty words.
- Comparative analysis of misuse vs. proper use with amphetamines.
- Comparative analysis of plain use vs. anti-tolerance use.
- I expect to see memantine! I did Ctrl+F and didnt find it in this post. Incredible...
- References to fluoroamphetamine and group function influence on biological effect.

Yes, if you binge on amphetamines like a brainless dude, you will go through those stages, but we assume that on this site, people have a brain and will not do that. I am outraged that, with this amount of information offered by knowledgeble users, by moderators and the bluelight crew in general, simplistic descriptions of stupid, misguided use are still emerging.

If this post is meant to criticize people who use amphetamines this way, I agree with it. They are stupid people. But what you are trying to do is you try to accuse a molecule! And that my friend I cannot accept, ever. Do not fkn accuse my molecules...you look at a baby and say, oh poor little guy, he's so small, how could he be guilty of anything? And yet, a molecule which is trillions of times smaller, is GUILTY! Are you crazy? Hating a molecule?

If anyone went through all those stages, hate yourself, because you are the dude who fetched to the mouth, you are the dude who filled the arm.
 
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ahh amphetamines!!! love at first sight, then tolerance hits and you are stay up for days, see shadow people, break into a persons house to shit on their couch, and jump out of 2 story builds because of the "sirens" of the police you hear. then i am like FAKKKKKK!!!!!!

i like the title of this thread :)
 
I've used amphetamines for 7 years and I'm still stage 1. This topic fails@life. I expect to see:

- Literature
- Figures, percentages, graphs, analysis, mathematics...not just empty words.
- Comparative analysis of misuse vs. proper use with amphetamines.
- Comparative analysis of plain use vs. anti-tolerance use.
- I expect to see memantine! I did Ctrl+F and didnt find it in this post. Incredible...
- References to fluoroamphetamine and group function influence on biological effect.

Yes, if you binge on amphetamines like a brainless dude, you will go through those stages, but we assume that on this site, people have a brain and will not do that. I am outraged that, with this amount of information offered by knowledgeble users, by moderators and the bluelight crew in general, simplistic descriptions of stupid, misguided use are still emerging.

If this post is meant to criticize people who use amphetamines this way, I agree with it. They are stupid people. But what you are trying to do is you try to accuse a molecule! And that my friend I cannot accept, ever. Do not fkn accuse my molecules...you look at a baby and say, oh poor little guy, he's so small, how could he be guilty of anything? And yet, a molecule which is trillions of times smaller, is GUILTY! Are you crazy? Hating a molecule?

If anyone went through all those stages, hate yourself, because you are the dude who fetched to the mouth, you are the dude who filled the arm.

Agreed.
 
ahh amphetamines!!! love at first sight, then tolerance hits and you are stay up for days, see shadow people, break into a persons house to shit on their couch, and jump out of 2 story builds because of the "sirens" of the police you hear. then i am like FAKKKKKK!!!!!!

i like the title of this thread :)

wow thats how i fucking feel right now thats hillarious and so fuckin true... im on bl sitting in a locked bedroom, no lights on besides the cpu, all the planes, cars, lights w/e and shit outside, dogs barking inside... the ppl i live with its like "they know" ahahaha

ive been off my benzos since wednesday, or thursday and shit so its like im even that much more fuckin sickly fucked up...


shadow ppl .. haha

last night i walked in hearing the dogs barking, other guy next door laughing and i hear it when im like "oh i just made a tweaking reference," as he just now sighed hahahahaha theyre not fucking putting cameras in bathrooms and bedrooms over some kid popping his own pills ( (I'm not a kid but yeah as he sighs i type all this shit hahaha right then and there on that word why is it so coincidental.. hahahaha its like im fuckin stoned that type of laughter...))

but yes Goddamnit, the coincidence shit is hilarous And pretty creepy.. but so rediculous because like i said besides hearing me mash on the keyboard like super fuckin hard for twenty min straight no one is laughing or watching me but... for years its blown my mind.. now i just fucking laugh over all the shit that i use to freak out at... well i still freak out (9 years later its become a daily thing haha)

boom

now whos the idiot... me
 
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Im at Stage 5, I always crave taking my d-amp but soon as I come-up its just negative effects and depression/anxiety... I've held myelf off but I still crave the shit out of, infact event thinking of taking some now but deffintly the drug you learn to hate
 
Would taking 200-300mg of adderall daily for 6-8 months straight cause issues? I've stayed up for 9 days before, been down to 120 lbs at 6'2 (which may have also given me a slightly anorexic mindset with weight) and no doubt I feel different.. I can't smoke weed without terrible anxiety...lots of changes I've noticed...
 
Great post. I was hooked on crystal meth for about a year and a half and then quit, its almost been a full year since I used. I just recently got ahold of some Dextroamphetamine and have been using it for a few days. I decently enjoy it still... I really only feel like shit if I stay up all night. I guess yeah, sure its obviously not even close to the power of meth but its still good. Yesterday I went out to the bar and I had two 10mg spaced about two hours apart and felt great. The only issue is right now my RHR is about 101 bpm. Is that a cause for concern? No chest pains.
 
I personally think amphetamines are the spawn of the devil. Yeah, I've seen some people post on this thread about how we should not 'accuse' the molecule, but whatever, I feel like you do have some justification to accuse amphetamines, Adderall, Vyvanse, Focalin, etc., but esp. Adderall, in America's drug culture. When I was a kid in the 90's, and a young teen in the first half of the 2000's, I heard news reports about coke, crack/crank, and meth, sure, but not Adderall - I've never touched crack or meth, only did coke about 5-6 times in my life (really a stupid drug, surprising it ever got as popular as it did), but I definitely played around with Adderall for a time, went through two short periods of idiotic abuse (one time did 600 mg over around half-a-week, another time of three instances of 150-200 mg over the period of a day, these instances spread out over a month and a half, in the course of which, collectively, including these short binge episodes, I did about 1200-1300 mg of Adderall overall - in retrospect, the relapse only occurred because I was smoking weed for a few months between the two binge periods, which were thankfully separated by a half-year, I logically knew what I was doing again was not smart, but my ego was pretty damn well over-inflated at the time, toking up at least 2 grams of prime hydro a day), which capped off around a year of using in definitely prescribed doses, just doing 20-60 mg every other day. And I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm human, but, just from an outward mind-set of observing my own life, I am pretty much the last person I would have thought who could have succumbed to Adderall, for a time, like I did. Perfect student in high school, great at extra-curricular stuff, still a great student in college despite my down-turns (the semester I did the 600 mg binge I got some B's and a C-, which was just crazy for me), just finishing up with college, now been sober off of everything, been doing very well, relatively, recently. Only thing's that kept me above the manic depressive line has been exercise - after the first binge I had, I gained 30-40 pounds of muscle (literally, yes), getting up to 215 pounds (also - wanted to add, just being at this pretty large weight probably helped me out tremendously when I binged again, which was still a stupid mistake on my part emotionally and psychologically if anything, even though I stopped exercising for around three weeks when I was doing Adderall again, if only because it wasn't like my body received the full brunt of the shit I was taking relative to my internal organs), and that helped me to continue smoking weed, no problems. It was a great time, honestly. But then I binged again, like I said, with three spiked occurrences over a month and a half. I was not doing it purely for recreational activities - I was reading for papers, writing these 20-pagers, stuff I didn't want to deal with. Ironic part of it is, after going through another semester, no substances, not even caffeine, at all, I've actually had an easier time with it all, which definitely reminds me how I was giving into my own illusions about not being able to do the work naturally. Anyway, yeah, for people with ADHD, I feel sad/bad for you guys, I couldn't imagine having that condition and being completely clean. Long story short, I'm just saying that if you're reading this and you think that you've fucked yourself up mentally/physically for the rest of your life, yeah, you might have. But just because of that, it doesn't mean you're brainless. It means you're a product of the environment you live in, and shit happens, for better or worse. I'm currently still recovering from my last run-in. Can't smoke weed anymore, as far as I'm concerned, just because I have overwhelming waves of guilt (just mental) and a little bit of anxiety/chest annoyances, nothing major though, and it just comes with trying to smoke, so, I mean, I guess, I'm pretty fucking lucky. I definitely, as far as I know, did not have any damage after my first binge, but I'm just going for the best this time around, this is my fucking life after all. Gained ten pounds again in the gym since I started up in there a month ago, other than relapsing in the first place, my biggest mistake would have been stopping my constant exercise routine of working out, something which I have been able to get back into, thankfully, but which has certainly been marked by hardship in just terms of dealing with putting on muscle again. Sorry, this post got a little longer than I expected. My end-advice, don't do amphetamines, just smoke weed, that's much more enjoyable. If that doesn't work out for you, and I'm supposing it wouldn't have since you're here, no, you are not a total dumb-ass for having done what you did, but, still, you have to survey your workable options from here on out. If I could have done it again, I would have just helped myself out after I knew I had a substance abuse problem post-first-binge and quit drugs completely. That would have saved a lot of doubt and life-questioning on my part. Other than that, post-binges or amphetamine use, either get yourself medical help/treatment if it seems like it's gotten that bad, e.g., you have circulation problems, definite chest pains, full out anxiety attacks, etc., or, if that stuff isn't happening and you just have a shitty attitude, or a score of other minor problems but which don't seriously impede you putting on muscle or which can actually be construed as pain (don't quote me though..), then, by all means, go and work out 4-5 times a week, put on muscle, boy or girl, and just never touch uppers of any kind for the rest of your life. And that will help. Live your life, fuck drugs...unless you just smoke weed (and when I say this, I'm talking about JUST smoking weed, you've never done anything else, nothing at all, unlike me, who went back to just smoking weed after I KNEW I had an issue with harder stuff - this can make you think that you can return to harder drugs, of any kind, which really isn't the case - things ain't gonna change for you in that respect, don't make my mistake there...really an easy mistake to have corrected on my part, trust me, I think about it every day), as a former pot-head, I personally don't think that that is a big deal UNLESS you get caught up with ANY harder drugs, of course, including amphetamines. Do yourself a favor in that case, and mind you...weed DOES cost money, so honestly, being frugal is beneficial to all of that too. Life's going to blow, but it doesn't have to erupt, like amphetamines can often lead to, even with those who feel they've gotten lucky post-high-amphetamine usage.

Two additional notes for anyone (else) out there interested about dealing with the side-effects from amphetamine addiction or withdrawal:
1) Age seems to be a huge contributing factor to how easy/fast you can bounce back from this stuff. I was a few months into being 21 when I got out of my first binge and it really was not too/that difficult - I did have to work my way out of it but it certainly wasn't that psychologically trying, just trying in terms of devoting myself to the task at hand. However, after my second binge/relapse, I was (and still am) 22, just six months older, and it was/has been much more difficult - I understand I was also basically subverting my normal system of dealing with getting out of drug problems by not working out for the first time in four years as well (I'd always worked out ever since I started doing drugs...which was 90-95% overall weed, including when I drank - I always considered alcohol a drug) so I know my empirical data is a little skewed, but nonetheless, from what I've picked up by reading a lot of posts/threads on this website, this age thing with post-amphetamine use definitely seems to be a common trope to be sure. If you're 20 or younger, i.e., a teenager, get the fuck out now, other than psychological bullshit, you'll likely come out Scott-free from any physical problems. If you're 20 or older don't even mess around with amphetamines point blank, it just isn't worth it plain and simple - take the bad grades, the awkward social situations, they are preferable to the consequences which you may/can endure from dealing with amphetamine withdrawal or mental/physical health scenarios.
2) Working out is easily, as far as I'm concerned, besides going out and getting medical treatment for serious problems (like I mentioned above - for real, if you feel like your chest is collapsing when you try to exercise or you have swelling of your feet or something, yeah, you might have already had a heart attack, that is VERY serious, and dude, what can I say, if you don't go out and get some medicine to help you out, you might get bit in the ass medically in a few months or years down the road pretty easily, we're all going to die, it's just about building yourself time and confidence regarding the end, however, sometimes you can't build that time by yourself, so just deal with it), the best way to deal with physical side-effects. However, emotionally and psychologically, you often cannot do this (quitting the abusive, or otherwise, amphetamine demons) by yourself. From experience, it seems like most of the people who ACTUALLY get deep into Adderall or any type of hard drugs usually insulate themselves from loving relationships. But, even besides a loving girl or boy-friend, you really need your family as your rock. If I had come back to live with my family after my first binge and recovery, even if I had kept smoking weed (but whatever, seriously, forget about how I keep on mentioning weed, if it hasn't been apparent, I do just miss smoking weed, my life revolved around the toke), I'm pretty sure, 85+%, that I wouldn't have dared to relapse on the amphetamines again. Having stayed with them [my family] after my second relapse, I mean, shit, you just realize how important your family is to you and your life. Honestly, I had a huge cathartic experience looking at some baby pictures of myself from back in the day. Egotistical, no doubt. Helpful in getting me to look at my life objectively, hell yeah. Spend time with the parental units. Get back into the familial mix. That helps some. Ultimately, though, it's all about you, what you do, how you feel about what you do and what you have done, we're all idiosyncratic, I don't pretend to have any answers, so it is what it is.
 
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Yeah I can totally see how being older or maybe just addicted longer can hinder a persons ability to bounce back. Funny thing with amphetamines is that at first they boosted everything for me. Relationships were great I mean I was on fire with making new friends. Then after a while of constantly using I secluded myself... Funny how that works. They always seem so great at the beginning but that's where they rope you in. I have a few more dex left then I'm off stims for good, except coffee and nicotine. I wouldn't call this a relapse because I'm still not smoking meth, but I can't let myself use that as an excuse to keep popping these suckers. The trials and tribulations... Haha :)
 
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