Namnoc16 is spot on. I was actually ready to write down his exact words : Pain is relative.
A lot of third world people that sleep under sheet steel and walk miles just to get water are probably happier than most of us. I have a theory that it is the case because of their needs which force them to cooperate more, which in turns create a sens of community, belonging and purpose which often lack in our society. And that those are more fulfilling than a full belly and silks underwears.
Anyway, I remember when I was quite young (5 or 6 years old, adults often forget how insightful child can be) I had understood two truth that sticked with me my whole life.
1- People should be juged by their intentions not their actions. (This led me to doubt the existence of a God who would condemn on actions, or lack of, alone).
2- Peoples suffering are relative. I had it hard young and I remember with clarity witnessing other child crying or in tandrum and I noticed that the intensity of their disatisfaction was as intense as mine even tho what caused them to react would have been superficial to me. So in a sens, it is not what happens to you that really is the point, it is how it makes you feel.
With time I also understood the implications of such statements. Lots of parameters goes into make you feel a certain way when other people won't. Genetics, experiences, perceptions, limiting beliefs, preconceptions, stereotypes and so on... If one could have some sort of control on some of those factors, he could actually help forging his inner life. Manipulate it to his advantage.
Then I eventually hitted my 20's and read Nietzsche and my world collapsed. I retained the worst thing I could from that read but it's truth was so obvious and powerful I couldn't undo it. Everything I hold dear my whole life, all my core value, it was all bullshit. There is no good nor evil, no right or wrong. Just evolutionnary instinct and acquired values from my parents and society. (Even the ones I rejected were rejected because they where presented to me. Would have I discovered them by myself I might have stick to them). All the things that ever mattered to me where the result of radoms things on which I had no power. I had no control on who I was and even if I did it wouldn't made a difference because there was no absolute value.
And not only did I have to deal with that, but knowing this intellectually couldn't turn me in a psychopath either. I still have empathy, I am still attracted to good looking girls, I am still chasing status, even tho I know all this is meaningless.
Then comes the worst of it. As I am slowly gaining awareness that I can maybe cope with all this if I know I can help people around, ease their suffering as much I can because I am empathic, I can put myself in there shoe and their pain his real. The more I see how to world works, the more I realise how so many people all around suffers and mostly because of the way the world works. We would have the means to feed the world, to helps with disease and education all around. And when I want to talk about this, to do something, people around do not care.
They go on with their meaningless lives, chasing one stupid goal after another. They don't care and don't want to care. They don't want to get into politics to try and change things, they don't want to give money to charity, they don't care that this homeless guy sleep in the street. Most people are so shallow, my life have only subjective meaning and we are all living a lie.
Then, don't ask me how, my resilient nature had an epiphany. I invented the whateverism
I took a very utilitarian approach to my perceptions of things and life. If something helps me feel better it is good. If it doesn't and can't lead to feeling better, it is bad. I do have some control on the way I see the world and what I do with it. If I am only an animal that thinks so beat I'll use it to my advantage, I'll exercise and eat good and work on my confidence to feel better from social approval and acceptance, biochemistry and so on.
And it works.
Today I am an opiate addict. I took a wrong turn and am dealing with the consequence as best as I can and I havent won back my life yet. But for the rest, I made it happened and I got to a place where I was fully happy. I've touched it and live it. And I know I can get back there.
So can you.
