Addiction and disasters/epidemics

[nuttynutskin]

Has anyone else here that's gotten sober from something felt even more grateful to not be physically addicted to a substance, or be caught up in medical issues related to addiction in these current times? At my worst I was physically addicted to benzos and alcohol and towards the end ending up in the ER either with withdrawal symptoms or health issues. I'm glad those days are behind me for a lot of reasons, but especially now with the corona craziness. The last place I'd want to be is in a hospital right now. Your health is important and especially important in times like this. What are you guy's thoughts? How about people still experiencing addiction? Does it concern you if something happened and you couldn't obtain the drug you're addicted to or needed medical treatment, or is it something you don't really think about?

 

[RV Mystery Journey]

Addicts might use their DOC more than they regularly do to cope with the added confusion and mass hysteria perhaps.

I would have relapsed this last week regardless.

I hope it passes though however it definitely is spreading more where I am heck I might have even caught it a couple weeks ago for all I know.

Worst cold I had in years.

Addiction is a response to cope with feeling powerless and a pandemic will make people feel more powerless I would imagine so of course addiction increases in these times. Might or might not be true.

I guess it could force some to stop or use less too actually depends on how you see it?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I've just been waiting in a queue outside the chemists for 90 minutes to collect my son's antidepressants. There were several known junkies in the queue behind me waiting for their methadone. I was the last one to get served before they shut for lunch for an hour.

I'm so glad I'm no longer having to pick up every day...

 

[SunriseChampion]

Yeah, if I was still my ~30lbs less weight grey-skinned self from my meth days, I'd probably die during this epidemic.

Glad that's over.

Fuck, I'm glad I quit smoking as well six months ago given the nature of this coronavirus piece. Now my lung cilia are at least there again to somewhat help in cases of respiratory infection.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i really can't imagine what its going to be like for using addicts the next couple of weeks. there is going to be nothing available in the UK soon, people are gonna be withdrawing without being able to access any support to get a script, or any psychological help. plus with literally nothing to pass the time- most junkys houses i went in had no tv, no books, no computer, no internet. ditto hostels.

i'm so grateful not to be in that position. in fact i don't feel remotely daunted by the prospect of lockdown right now, i've been so exhausted and it feels like a repreive.

 

[Sosume]

I need someone who gets the situation I am in right now to talk to. And searching forums this is the closest I found. If there is a better place- direct me. Please.

I am a 49yr old female with 15 yr history IV opiate abuse married 22 years. 3 grown daughters no longer in home.

My husband has been using methamphetamine since around 2001. He served a 8 year sentence for MWISD and was released 3 yrs ago. I love him and I...well I'm just fucking lost right now.

While he was in prison, I raised our girls alone. I made a lot of mistakes. I was in a lot of pain and I let my use spiral out of control. I was injecting opana or heroin when he got out. It was not easy for me to stop and I can not say I could turn it down right now if it was in reach. I just don't know.

He stayed straight for months when he got out. I did not move back in with him immediately. We just talked and spent most weekends together. He didn't like the shape I was in and told me if we were going to make a go of our marriage I needed to stop shooting opiates. So I did.

He got a good job which he still has 3 years later and we still live in same home. We are "functional". But both being addicts...and we fell in this together.

We have been using meth (about an 8 ball a week) injecting for 2 years now.

Now we are under stay at home order from State. Not sick, but when a coworker at his job developed symptoms of COVID19, we were intructed to self isolated for 14 days. Anyone with a history of addiction sould understand how that went.

It's day 15.

He has blown all his veins and can't get a shot in. My viens have been bad forever and most of the time I end up trying 3 or more spots before I get mine. More and more often, I have to stick him to get his in.

And I hate that.

He changes when I either can't get his in. Switches from the guy who works hard to take care of us to this hateful, belittling, threatening man. He has NOT hit me. I want to be clear about that.
I haven't done a shot myself in 36 hours. I tried up til 3pm yesterday. Then I decided I can't keep this shit up. My mind is tired, my heart is broken.

I told him. He's pissed and keeps going off everytime I tell him I won't stick him again.

Sorry if that was too long but I need help. I can't go anywhere. The situation I am in has me isolated from everyone but my mom and my youngest daughter(age 20). I talk to them on phone but they do not know the details of our use. I'm sure they know something but I deny when asked.

Where do I go? I'm feeling desperate. Please, talk to me or give me a place to turn. Local mental health has crisis line, but I have to TALK. Him hearing that conversation would not help any thing. And if law enforcement came...well that never helps either.

So chat online or cry by myself and wait for the next time he blows.

Thanks and stay well

 

[Painful One]

Hey @Sosume
I am here. Talk to me sweetheart.

Honestly, I have no experience whatsoever with meth or I.V use but I am a chronic pain patient and use morphine everyday.
I understand what it is like to be dependent- addicted.
I get my medication prescribed but I have been worried about what I would do if the doctor closes and/or the pharmacy.
I am also prescribed gabapentin and clonazepam.
I have been thinking I would have to take a bullet because the withdrawal would be .....not doable for me.
I am too hurt. I have been through too much and I am not willing to put myself through that kind of suffering.
I found myself taking more of my prescribed medication because I was worried about running out!!!
I finally broke down and asked my mom to take control of my medication.

Just want you to know that you are not alone.
We May not be in the same exact circumstances but I never judge anyone and I have a big heart and a lot of compassion.

Sending you a long warm hug and so much love my sister!

 

[Sosume]

Thank you so much.
I stated sobbing when I read that. I've done ALL THAT. Now I don't know what to do.

 

[nznity]

I've just been waiting in a queue outside the chemists for 90 minutes to collect my son's antidepressants. There were several known junkies in the queue behind me waiting for their methadone. I was the last one to get served before they shut for lunch for an hour.

I'm so glad I'm no longer having to pick up every day...

word, brother.

 

[Painful One]

Thank you so much.
I stated sobbing when I read that. I've done ALL THAT. Now I don't know what to do.

You hang in there and just do the best YOU can.
If your husband wants to continue with the meth, there is not a lot you can do.
Stay safe and do NOT let him get violent with you.
Just try and keep yourself okay.
Make sure you eat and sleep.

I am here. You are NOT alone.
Sometimes just talking about it helps. Especially, with a friend who cares and I DO care.
Love you so much sister.
everything is going to be alright.
Try not to get overwhelmed.

With Love!
❤

PS: sorry I didn’t get back to you until now.
had some surprise things come up.

 

[Painful One]

Good job you guys who do not have to worry about the chemical slavery!

Way to overcome!!!

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Yeah I'm really glad not to be physically dependant on anything at the moment, fuck that for a game of soldiers in this climate.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@Sosume that is a really difficult situation. Well done for coming to the decision you want to change. Honestly I had to be practically dragged to rehab, my parents changed the locks to my house so I ended up with the choice of going to rehab or being homeless with the clothes on my back. So the fact you have the ability to take that step by yourself and reach out to people about it is great.

Do you have any family or friends you can go to stay with for a while? I haven't been round recovery long compared to how long i was addicted for, but from what i've seen so far, its very difficult with someone who is not ready to stop around. I can also understand the issue with not wanting to talk on the phone with him hearing.