A Back Door Alternative
About a year ago I wrote this embarrassing TR where I sloppily recounted my experiences with injecting Mixed Amphetamine Salts (I.e. Adderall) intravenously. At the time I was rather strung out on IV stimulants, and in fact, the next day (after the above TR was written), I picked up a fifty bag of cocaine and shot it with the same needle I had used to inject the amphetamines with the night before. Three days after that, I wound up in the hospital where I was pumped full of steroids, anti-biotics, and hydromorphone after being diagnosed with MRSA.
Needless to say, this was an awful experience. I nearly died and ended up stuck to a hospital bed for five weeks as I wasn't allowed to leave with a pick line in my arm due to my history of intravenous drug abuse.
Fast forward to the present..
Now the smart thing to do after suffering from such a serious ailment would be to cut out IV drug use, and perhaps all drug use completely...Well, for a while there, that's exactly what I did. I stayed clean while tapering down on suboxone for about five months, at which point I relapsed on Heroin (IV) after making (what I consider) a substantial piece of money. Now, after only a minute into my first IV heroin experience in months, I already was left with the feeling that it "just wasn't enough". What that really meant, was that I wanted some cocaine to shoot too. Luckily I had enough of a brain to not go back to that place, and instead decided to give propylhexadrine a shot instead (and no, I don't mean I "shot up propylhexadrine"), which to my surprise worked rather well.
Anyway to get this ball rolling, the point that I'm trying to make is that if there's one thing I'm certain will lead to an ugly, early demise, it's IV cocaine (or similarly, almost any intravenous stimulant). Unfortunately, as anyone who's ever had the misfortune to experience such a raw and intense euphoria, the cravings and euphoric recall, are fucking brutal. However, for a reason that is unbeknownst to me, I decided to try using Adderall IR rectally one day, because oral use just wasn't cutting it, and I didn't want to slam it.
Quite honestly, I had never really given much thought to ever giving up mainlining my drugs. I had that bad attitude of "if you're going to do it, do it hard." This philosophy had rarely gained me any favorable results, and I'm glad to say I don't really think like that anymore, mostly in part to pluggin adderall of all things!
I unfortunately do not get adderall through the proper channels, but in a sense it helps limit the frequency which I use it, and in return, keeps my tolerance at a reasonable level (I never dose more than 45mg at a time, and never more than 60 mg in a day). My general experience is as follows:
After obtaining my adderall (I use the 30mg Instant Release Tablets) and safely making my way back to the comfort and relative privacy of my family's home, I enter the bathroom where I crush the pill between a folded sheet of paper with a rounded, orange(sorry, couldn't contain myself) lighter. I then pour the powder into a spoon or a cap, and spray 3mL over the crushed Adderall and stir with the plunger of my oral syringe for about 30 seconds. Next, I draw up the solution, a rather sickening bright orange liquid (unless it's a pink 30), reminiscent of home cooked Krokodil, and insert the tip of the syringe about an inch and a half into my asshole. Lying down on my side, I push down and eject the liquid into my rectum at a medium pace. I usually then leave my pinless rig in there for thirty seconds before I take it out, and then perform the procedure a final time, using an additional 3mL of water to suck up the remaining residue in my cap. Once all 6mL have been unloaded I lay on my side in wait, often logging on to bluelight (NOTE: some of my most brilliant and helpful posts have been typed as while lying half naked on my cold bathroom floor).
I usually feel a slight rush of warmth a minute or two after administering the amphetamines, but it's fleeting. The real 'onset' begins after about 10 minutes or so, and the first signs of the drug kicking is a sense of satisfaction. Perhaps I'll be writing something on bluelight, or drawing a picture-when the adderall hits, I often think to myself something along the lines of "well aren't you a clever bastard, Znegative!" From this point the effects begin to become more apparent. 20 minutes after plugging I begin to feel a smooth, calming stimulation. If I'm just hanging around watching Glee or something, I'll have to put the Netflix on pause and pull out my sketchbook or log on to bluelight. A big must with speed is that in order for the experience to live up to its full potential, you need to be productive.
As the Adderall begins to peak at around 25-30 minutes, I'm already fully engaged in some type of creative activity. I feel the amphetamines coursing through the veins in my face, specifically behind the eyes and cheeks, and while that sounds a little bit uncomfortable, it strangely is rather soothing. If I were to physically portray how I feel at this point through movement, I would have to learn to walk like an animated Egyptian Hyroglyph. I really just feel great to be so motivated and enthusiastic. Every once in a while my mind will suddenly revert back to a dark place, and I'll experience some momentary anxiety ("oh GAWD! This is going to end! I don't ever want to feel any other way again! Please, don't let me fall gracelessly back into a boring puddle of mediocrity!"). However, I'll force myself to push those feelings down, and as long as I return to some type of creative activity, I will completely forget my fears within a matter of seconds.
For the next 2 1/2 hours I continue on in this manner. Happily engaged in something productive, taking the occaisional cigarette break, etc.. If I control myself and choose NOT to redose, the comedown is pretty much painless. In fact, sometimes I'll find myself feeling as if a second wave of my methadone has been kicked back up, and the combination of the lingering amphetamine euphoria and physical exhaustion will lead me to comfortably nod out. However, sometimes I will simply not want the experience to end, and therefore I'll end up plugging an additional 15-30mg of Adderall. While it's really hard to discipline myself into saving drugs of any kind, I am always way more satisfied with my results if I choose to only dose amphetamines once in the course of a 24 hour period. If I end up plugging more, I seem to only prolong the peripheral stimulation rather than the pleasant state of mind I aim for. Another thing I've noticed that makes redosing on Adderall kind of nasty is that the come down from the second dose is a legitimate CRASH. While its nowhere near as bad as coming off of a 3 hour IV cocaine session, it's pretty unpleasant in its own right. I begin to feel over heated, overstimulated and irritable. I'll often get to the point where I become so uncomfortable in my own skin that I'll try to force myself to sleep, or if I have the means, I'll end up shooting some heroin-which is really what I want to avoid in the first place.
In short basically, while saving your extra pill for the next day can be annoying as the damn thing burns a hole in your pocket, it's much easier to deal with that type of anxiety than to redose and feel just plain crappy instead. Besides, when you wake up the next day you'll be so thrilled that you have an extra adderall, AND when you wait 24 hours between dosing, you're guaranteed to have a more positive experience when you do take it.
Anyway, this has gone on rather long so I'll wrap it up. For anyone who's trying to put down IV stimulants, plugging amphetamines is a really great alternative. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it's as incredible as a fat shot of bell-ringing cocaine, nor will I pretend that Dextroamphetamine does not pose its own risk for Dependancy/abuse as it definately does. However, it really has helped me a shitload stay away from repeatedly shoving pins into my veins every ten minutes until the wallets of everyone within an arms distance of myself have been emptied, and I'm curled up in a fetal position, sweating bullets, begging God to smite me down and end my misery. I havnt completely put down the needle yet as I still use heroin more than I care to say, but it's definately progress.
Tagged by Xorkoth
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