ADD/ADHD Guide - repost, last time you'll see it before its out in final version

[stp1993]

sorry about the formatting, but it got fucked up, and i dont give enough of a shit to fix it at the moment. maybe when it isnt quarter to six in the AM. you'll live if you really want it. all of this is a joke though and dont go and do this. oh, and i didnt actually write it, it came to me in a vision.
Acquiring ADD medication from your local doctor.
Version 3.0
***DISCLAIMER***This
is for educational purposes and
is a fictional story written by me(stp1993).
The
character referred to in the first person is a 16year
old high school
junior. I bet you feel old. This
fictional story is just that, fictional,
as in FAKE!
This is just a comedy paper. After over hearing
someone else
talk about this, i decided to write it
down in my own words. Again, this
story is purely a
work of fiction. Edited by Evan, thanks man!***DISCLAIMER***
This method would work best if you have been to the
doctor at least once,
as they will trust you more
(unless that one time was a failed attempt
to script
other narcotics).
Set up an appointment with your doctor saying
you
need to talk to him about problems you are having,
like focusing at
work/school. When you get into the
doctor's office, and he asks you what
is wrong state
something similar to the following:
"I have always had
a problem paying attention in my
class and when i was younger I just thought
it was
childhood imagination. Lately though it has become
more of a problem
at work. I am finding it a hard
struggle to pay attention during meetings
(or classes)
and even when doing normal busy work. I want to be
able
to concentrate on the task at hand, but my mind
keeps racing between ideas.
I was talking to my
______(fill in mother, father, girlfriend, sibling,
friend) about this and he mentioned that his/her
________(fill in with
sibling, child, friend, cousin,
you get the point) had this same problem
and was
diagnosed with ADD. That really worried me. I mean,
I don't
want to think I have a mental disorder or
something."
The above is just
an example. DO NOT say it in a long
tedious monologue. Also mention other
things such as
how your schoolwork seems to be really suffering, or
your
boss said you missed the raise because of
decreased performance. Basically
I described the
truth, which was: "it is really hard for me to
concentrate
or stay focused on anything. I often am
thinking about some trivial thing
when I should be
concentrating on homework or other things. It is
almost
like I cannot stop daydreaming, even when I
want to pay attention."
Some
points to mention:
-How your homework is suffering. Also talk about how
your notes are pretty crappy.(this applies only if you
are in school)
-How you are constantly procrastinating.
-How you are VERY disorganized.
-How you have great trouble meeting goals of any type.
-How you our mind
races from one thing to another and
you are thinking about 3 or 4 things
at once.
-How your mother/father/sibling/relatives were
recentally diagnosed
with ADD, and this worried you.
-How you can read a page on a subject you
aren't too
interested in 3 or 4 times and not be able to say what
it said.
-How you are constantly daydreaming in class/work and
this is affecting
your preformance.
-How you occasionally completely zone out, not
thinking
of much at all.
-How if more than one person is talking, you have a
hard
time following just one conversation.
-How you often say things without
thinking first, then
regret saying them at all.
-How you pace or move
around when doing things, to try
and occupy yourself.
-How you are constantly
fidgetting with things.
-How you start things without finishing them.
-If you just started college(or want to say you just
started college),
mention how you got good grades
before without doing work or paying attention,
and now
you can not seem to keep up.
-AND finally, how you are angry or
distressed over the
fact that you can not figure out why your mind is like
this.
Aside from that, be creative! I'm sure you can easily
think
of other things to say that would indicate
ADD/ADHD symptoms. Remember
ATTENTION is the key part
you lack. Act zoned out when you are waiting
for him,
and don't answer until a pause.
When my doctor first diagnosed
me, I was just an
innocent little 13-year-old who had no intention for
abuse(not that I do now), and I even stopped taking
the meds due to crappy
side effects. The first thing
that was prescribed to me at that age was
Dexedrine.
Then I complained about some side effect, and he gave
me 10mg
of adderall a day. I just gave up after a
month on that though.
Two
years later when I came back with a different
intent, I restated what I
said originally, but
mentioned it was getting worse. I also said I'd
really like to give the medicines a second try, as the
effects might not
be as bad. My doctor agreed and
started me back on 10mg a day. All this
did was keep
me more awake. I complained that I noticed it
slightly,
but wearing off before the day was half
over. He moved me to 10mg in the
morning and 5 at
lunch. More complaining about it being noticeable but
not much and was moved up and up. I now get 40mg per
day. I'm also planning
on going for more soon. It
does help me concentrate, but only a little.
Never complain when he prescribes you, but a week
later, or when the bottle
is empty and you need to go
in to get a refill, mention that it works somewhat,
but it wears off often and only helps partially.
Don't go with the wears
off too soon or you might get
prescribed Concerta, that time release ritalin
with
really bad stuff holding it together. I made that
mistake, fortunately
after this prescription runs out,
back on the old bandwagon for bigger
better things.
-stp1993

 

[MDMA desciple]

here's a litte tip for the final version:
most docs have a little survey thing that you fill out in the waiting room that asks you health questions. if it asks "do you smoke and how much?" put like "two packs a day" because people with ADHD tend to smoke more as nicotein focuses your attention (and your doctor will know this.) i did this when i went in to scam for speed and i got a PHAT script for dexies out of it.
disciple
------------------
i close my eyes
i tell you how much i care
the you smile and say to me
'let me be your destiny'
"for you see, it's love that makes your crack house into a crack home!"
-PhreeX
AIM: Aluvitar

 

[xylo-]

If you can show him some old report cards talking about your trouble paying attention, that will be helpful as well. The doctor may want to talk to your parents to get a better picture of your situation, so it's best to talk it over with them first so they don't fuck it up for you "my son is just fine doctor! he's just a lazy little bitch!"
Also, if they give you the test thingies where you rate your symptoms on a scale from 0-3 or whatever, don't try to avoid exaggerating it to make it look authentic, it's better to make it very clearly indicate strong symptoms, if your doctor thinks you're faking it, he probably already would have made that decision by this time, no need to play games to make yourself look honest.....

 

[Good Corruption]

and now i shall bestow upon you the supreme ultimate knowledge...
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) Diagnostic Criteria for Attention Deficit Disorder...
www.psychologynet.org/add.html
Either (1) or (2):
1. six (or more) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:
@. often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities
a. often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities
b. often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
c. often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)
d. often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
e. often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework)
f. often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)
g. is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
h. is often forgetful in daily activities
2. six (or more) of the following symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:
Hyperactivity
@. often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
a. often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected
b. often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)
c. often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly
d. is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor" often talks excessively
Impulsivity
e. often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
f. often has difficulty awaiting turn
g. often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games)
B. Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before age 7 years.
C. Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g., at school [or work] and at home).
D. There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.
E. The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder,  Schizophrenia , or other Psychotic Disorder and are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., Mood Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Disorder, or a Personality Disorder).
Specify Type:
* Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined Type: if both Criteria A1 and A2 are met for the past 6 months
* Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type: if Criterion A1 is met but Criterion A2 is not met for the past 6 months
* Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: if Criterion A2 is met but Criterion A1 is not met for the past 6 months
Note: For individuals (especially adolescents and adults) who currently have symptoms that no longer meet full criteria, "In Partial Remission" should be specified.
Associated Features:
* Learning Problem
* Hyperactivity
Differential Diagnosis:  
Some disorders have similar symptoms. The clinician, therefore, in his diagnostic attempt has to differentiate against the following disorders which need to be ruled out to establish a precise diagnosis.
Age-appropriate Behaviors in Active Children;
Mental Retardation;
Understimulating Environments;
Oppositional Behavior;
Another Mental Disorder;
Pervasive Developmental Disorder;
Psychotic Disorder;
Other Substance-Related Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.
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do you smellelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel the rock that i'm cookin...

 

[Catch-22]

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