Y
Young man
Guest
Hi,
A few days ago me and a few of my bestest friends decided to get some ecstasy, which is something we occasionally do maybe once every month. We were given some pure white stuff and not being experts we just thought it was different mdma. I did a big bomb first then snorted more lines through the night. We started at about midnight. At first we felt really chatty, and sort of high but not a happy high, very strange to describe. I just thought I needed to do more. I had a few beers and also laughing gas. After about an hour I felt like I couldn't speak or I wasn't in control of my body. I could see everything happening but couldn't act. We decided to go on a walk and then things got really sinister. I remember my heart beating really fast and sweating loads and from then it felt like these friends, my bestest friends, were out to get me. First its like they were worried but then it developed into disgust and then ignoring me. I felt like I needed to say something but , like i said before, I felt trapped and couldn't really do anything besides follow them about. I couldn't smile and its almost like I didn't feel any emotion. We got back from the walk and I did more to try and get high, still thinking it was mdma, and it got worse. It seemed like every little thing that happened or they said was a cruel vindictive thing against me, like they were constantly laughing insulting and ignoring me to my face and I was aware of it but I couldn't act, like I couldn't get the words out. It even seems so real like it happened now, and I could go into loads of weird examples that terrify me, but basically they just became absolute devils towards me and I couldn't do anything.
I ended up leaving with my brother who is convinced the same thing happened but it was all aimed at him. It feels very messed up because they are my best mates. I didn't sleep for 3 days, even now I am only sleeping in little bits and it is difficult to do so.
I've talked to my friends about it and they are concerned and adamant that none of that happened and that the drugs are spinning it.
Will this feeling of emotional emptiness, lack of sleep and distrust go away? The worst thing is the doubt that it all may have happened. I've never felt so emotionally terrible. Please help reassure ... One first time over dose surely cannot make permanent problems or make me believe such delusions for ever??
A few days ago me and a few of my bestest friends decided to get some ecstasy, which is something we occasionally do maybe once every month. We were given some pure white stuff and not being experts we just thought it was different mdma. I did a big bomb first then snorted more lines through the night. We started at about midnight. At first we felt really chatty, and sort of high but not a happy high, very strange to describe. I just thought I needed to do more. I had a few beers and also laughing gas. After about an hour I felt like I couldn't speak or I wasn't in control of my body. I could see everything happening but couldn't act. We decided to go on a walk and then things got really sinister. I remember my heart beating really fast and sweating loads and from then it felt like these friends, my bestest friends, were out to get me. First its like they were worried but then it developed into disgust and then ignoring me. I felt like I needed to say something but , like i said before, I felt trapped and couldn't really do anything besides follow them about. I couldn't smile and its almost like I didn't feel any emotion. We got back from the walk and I did more to try and get high, still thinking it was mdma, and it got worse. It seemed like every little thing that happened or they said was a cruel vindictive thing against me, like they were constantly laughing insulting and ignoring me to my face and I was aware of it but I couldn't act, like I couldn't get the words out. It even seems so real like it happened now, and I could go into loads of weird examples that terrify me, but basically they just became absolute devils towards me and I couldn't do anything.
I ended up leaving with my brother who is convinced the same thing happened but it was all aimed at him. It feels very messed up because they are my best mates. I didn't sleep for 3 days, even now I am only sleeping in little bits and it is difficult to do so.
I've talked to my friends about it and they are concerned and adamant that none of that happened and that the drugs are spinning it.
Will this feeling of emotional emptiness, lack of sleep and distrust go away? The worst thing is the doubt that it all may have happened. I've never felt so emotionally terrible. Please help reassure ... One first time over dose surely cannot make permanent problems or make me believe such delusions for ever??